How to find the right man for you: 10 steps (with pictures)

How to find the right man for you: 10 steps (with pictures)
How to find the right man for you: 10 steps (with pictures)

Do you collect failed love stories? Are you tired of waiting for the perfect man to arrive? Why not go out and find it on your own? There is no magic technique, but there are some tips that can help.


Get the Right Man Step 1

Step 1. Live your life

The best thing you can do to be more attractive is to have an interesting and fulfilling life. Only people who are deeply manipulative or unsure of themselves agree to live with partners who have no center of interest, no plans or hobbies. Think about your own tastes: would you like to be with a man who spends his weekends writing a novel, traveling, playing the cello in an orchestra and inviting you to the theater or would you prefer the one who stays glued to the front? TV and who never misses a soccer game? Stick to the same criteria by spending a lot of time with other people, be they friends or acquaintances, having interests and finding new hobbies - this is how you might meet interesting men. Don't drop these activities the moment you meet someone, make them part of your new romantic experience. You will feel happier and more independent when you are busy, which will keep you going on dates smoothly and may also make you more compatible with interesting men.

Don't be addicted. Addiction is a foil for most romantic partners, and the ones it can attract tend not to be very well-balanced. If this is currently a problem for you, read this article

Get the Right Man Step 2

Step 2. Look in the right places

Start by imagining the kind of man you are looking for. Make a more in-depth list of qualities and characteristics, which should start with responsible, respectful, and honest, but try not to get caught up in less essential characteristics, like hair color or dress, otherwise you risk moving on to side of really interesting men. You should give it serious thought if your list is extravagantly long. Then imagine where you might meet this kind of man. Would he be in a bar or would you rather find him playing golf, hiking, taking up training or doing some cultural activity? Make a list of the ten places you would like to see your future husband frequent, this could range from an art gallery to a bookstore, to all the places that you yourself may be interested in and that you would be likely to frequent too.. Finally, go to these places as often as possible, as long as you continue to lead your own fulfilling life. You've probably already noticed that you meet more men just by pursuing one of your passions!

Get the Right Man Step 3

Step 3. Overcome the wounds of the past

When you let old wounds spoil new romantic relationships by reliving the same power issues over and over again or looking at your wonderful new partner with a critical eye, you are employing the best recipe for running into an unsuitable boy or for ruining you. a beginning of a sympathetic relationship with the one who is the right one. Learn to cope with emotional pain or try to deal with psychological abuse so that you can see a romantic relationship for what it really is.

Get the Right Man Step 4

Step 4. Wear whatever can make you comfortable and feel confident

Never feel like you have to dress provocatively to attract a man. A woman who wears clothes that are too sober or too showy usually has a harder time getting the attention of a man she does not yet know. A woman dressed too sexy gives the impression of doing too much to attract attention, while one who wears too classic outfits seems unnatural. Every man is obviously different, but if you want to dress like a lady, you are bound to attract those who are looking for a lady.

Be careful to express who you are confidently, rather than seeking approval or appreciation from others through your clothes

Get the Right Man Step 5

Step 5. Refine your seduction technique

The best skills when it comes to seducing men are first and foremost physical. That doesn't mean you should look like a sex bomb. When you see a man who seems interested in you, exchange glances and smile. Studies have shown that smiling is the most effective thing a woman can do to be more attractive to men. The classic attitude is to look at a man, notice that he is looking at you, blush and then look down. After which, you bravely lift your eyes and smile again, it may seem like a little too nunuche or too typically feminine for your taste, but variations of this attitude can strike a chord with men. Assertiveness is essential, however, and submissiveness is rarely appealing to a worthy man, unless perhaps that's a norm in your culture. Keep exchanging looks and smiling, but don't be too scary. Give him a small wave of the hand if he seems shy and if he doesn't approach you after a while. Change the target, if he is uncomfortable and avoids meeting your gaze. Read this article for more tips.

  • Relax when he approaches you. Now it's his turn to get in touch with you. Have fun and joke with him. Tease him nicely, don't provoke him. Tell her an interesting anecdote, but also focus on asking questions while giving positive comments. Touch his arm if he still attracts you and if he makes you laugh, don't look at your hand, but see his reaction. Keep touching it lightly from time to time. Use more neutral body language and use less energy if it seems uncomfortable.
  • Realize that many men love to chase after a woman. That doesn't mean you should be messing around with him. Rather, it means that men prefer to take the lead when it comes to kissing, making sexual advances, declaring love, and proposing. There are, however, men who are too timid to take the first step. This can sometimes happen if you haven't encouraged him enough or if he's really too shy. During the first meeting, after having established a first contact, you can make it easier for yourself by mentioning a restaurant you like, a hobby or the fact that your plans for the weekend have fallen through. Don't be afraid to give her your phone number, it's a pretty harmless gesture and not a marriage proposal.
Get the Right Man Step 6

Step 6. Look for warning signs

It can be difficult to tell if the person you are interested in is behaving suspiciously, especially at the start of a romantic relationship when you have high hopes and are going through strong emotions. Read all of the wikiHow articles about manipulative people if you tend to always stumble upon a bad token. A wise woman is worth two.

  • How to recognize a manipulative and authoritarian relationship.
  • How to spot manipulative behavior.
  • How to recognize an authoritarian person.
Get the Right Man Step 7

Step 7. Avoid Common Mistakes During Dating

This is where many women unfortunately do everything wrong. Yes, a lot of men are interested in sex on a date, but they also want to get to know the woman they are dating better to see if she could share their life, if they are looking for a partner or a wife. This is a process that takes some time. A man checks that the woman he is dating is not overly dependent, which makes him uncomfortable, and prefers a fulfilling and interesting woman who could love him for who he is. He does not want a woman who will choose the first comer to try to reshape him according to his tastes. He is looking for a woman who is not desperately looking for a man, but enjoys his company. A man who feels like things are going way too fast and taking a serious turn too quickly before he feels ready to commit for good is going to run at full speed in fear of committing. with a woman he is suspicious of. In this sense, men almost always take a date more seriously than women and take longer to engage, because they are very difficult.

Don't say too much. No one wants to know all the details of someone else's life, whether it's in a meeting, whether it's a friend or a stranger, a discussion in person or through a social network. You will scare this man away if you overwhelm him with various hobbies, personal issues, or office gossip

Get the Right Man Step 8

Step 8. Make sure you really like it

Ask him what he expects from life when the relationship evolves. How does he plan to achieve his goals? Do they agree with yours? Similarities in values, origins and goals are good indicators of a successful romantic relationship. Don't skim over big differences in how you view the couple, such as whether or not you want children, in the hope that the partner will change their mind later. This is a very wobbly and unrealistic start to a relationship, which can lead to disappointments later on.

Completed studies are also an excellent indicator of a successful union. Divorce rates are lower than the national average among those who have completed their education. Don't give up on your studies or let your partner do it to rush you into a long-term romantic relationship

Get the Right Man Step 9

Step 9. Develop a healthy relationship

Knowing what a romantic relationship should be like isn't always easy, especially if you've been hurt in the past. The fact of having lived a catastrophic romantic relationship can completely destabilize you and destroy your self-esteem, which can force you to anticipate your every step in the years to come.

  • Realize that it is impossible to have a healthy romantic relationship without experiencing a disagreement from time to time. Promising research conducted by sociological institutes, on the other hand, gives us a better idea of ​​the behaviors that can promote happy marriages. It is surprising to note that the number of arguments experienced in a couple is not a problem in this case. It has been found that in reality all couples have unresolved issues, but the happiest couples are able to live with them. The highest divorce rates are found among couples who do not express their emotions and pretend everything is fine. Contempt, disdain for the other's opinion and disrespect for the partner are also good omen of divorce. Men especially are very sensitive to criticism. Roughness and a too bothering mind towards a man are also good ways to end a marriage. The fact of living in a common-law relationship does not affect the eventual success of a marriage, it can possibly be quite the opposite.
  • Drowning a man in an overflow of emotions also promotes divorce. Talk to a loved one first, sort out your thoughts rather than judging. Always say that you are feeling sad or angry rather than consistently blaming your partner.
  • The loss of love for the other is often much more decisive in the case of a separation than of conflicts. According to studies published by the Gottman Institute for Sociological Research, couples with happy marriages have remained as in love with each other as when they were engaged. They tend to express mixed or negative feelings less often and view their partner more positively than other couples. More importantly, these feelings keep some stability over time.
  • Never treat your partner like a child. Don't disparage him, give him advice he hasn't asked for, judge him, put a curfew on him, or try to control him. Agree to disagree with some of his actions, but take your man for who he is, appreciate him for his personality, don't try to change him. If you can't help yourself, let him go and find a woman who will appreciate him for who he is and not for what you want him to be. This is the reason why it is so important to find a man who looks like you by looking for him in the right place. First, try to get to know each other better, don't get married too early (six months after your first meeting) if you want a marriage that lasts.
Get the Right Man Step 10

Step 10. Don't make decisions in the heat of passion

Couples who have ended up having a successful romantic relationship are not the ones who commit for life to the heart of their sexual passion. The most solid couples have settled down after their first carnal emotions to live a more stable love before getting married. Women can no doubt learn one thing or another from male stereotypes. It is first imperative to have a good time in life before committing so as not to have anything to blame the partner or the children later. Then it's just as important to have fun dating without worrying about more serious commitments before getting to know your partner well, so that you can oust those who don't suit you and find a better one before they get to know your partner. not be too late. It is also not advisable to be too picky, but you should not accept disrespect. The first stages of a romantic relationship are first and foremost a reciprocal study, so it is important that a woman takes the time to analyze a man in the same way that the latter also does towards her.


  • Develop the romantic relationship at a good pace. It is better for a woman to choose from among the three billion men that make up our planet if, during the first days of a meeting, a man does not react to her attempts at seduction. There is no shortage of good men in the world. It just takes a little time and a few encounters to find it. Men are generally put off by women who make too much advances at them, especially those with a very sexual connotation, even if the most timid among them undoubtedly appreciate that a woman takes the first step. This is because a man who doesn't know a woman well assumes that the really interesting ones shouldn't be based on desire to appreciate her personality. He will therefore perceive advances from her as an indication that she is desperately looking for any man, rather than being particularly interested in him. When a man isn't thinking about seriously engaging with a woman, talking about marriage early on in the relationship, talking about children, or anything that reminds a serious commitment is a wake-up call for a man. A man who is truly interested in a woman will usually make it no secret: he will court her relentlessly and he will propose marriage first.
  • Take every opportunity to get to know him better.

    • Read together “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. The title may sound out of date, but it's a very informative book!
    • Read the 7 winning behaviors of happy couples.


  • He doesn't really care about you if he doesn't want to take the time to improve your relationship.
  • Know that there is often a time in men's lives when they feel ready for marriage. Before that, they do not have the means, they prefer to browse or engage in risky behavior. When a man is tired of drinking and hanging out with lots of women without committing, when his career evolves and he buys real estate, he also begins to think about marriage. In some rather rare cases, it is the woman who causes this transition a little earlier than expected, but it should happen when the man is ready and not as a result of pleas, ultimatums or other behaviors that men consider. as hopeless or unwanted.
  • Birds of a feather flock together.He may not be right for you if his friends aren't to your liking.
  • Don't manipulate a man, if you're looking for the right one for you. A man who understands that a woman is using him to fulfill his own ambitions risks leading a romantic relationship to disaster. Really know who you are and what you want if you love a man. Be genuine and don't shake up an ongoing romantic relationship.
  • Don't mislead a man. Some women behave very nicely in a professional setting without mentioning their status as a wife. No one likes lying. Reveal your personal motivations as soon as the dating conditions allow.
  • Realize that many men are perfectly fine to date and sleep with women without even considering marrying them. It is therefore imperative to understand that sexuality is less important for a man than for a woman. This doesn't mean that men don't feel anything during sex, but that you shouldn't see only sexual attraction in a man. Instead, see more glaring signs of interest as similarities in plans for the future.
  • Some women like to be wanted, consciously or not. This allows them to know exactly if this man is suitable for them, both in terms of their will and perseverance in wooing them, and intellectually and morally. Since men are not perfect, some women do not want to be easy prey and seek to gain respect and self-respect. The beginnings of a romantic relationship can be difficult and trying, so you should take all your precautions. Remember that the art of making yourself wanted only works if you know and can see the person you are interested in.
  • You might feel like you haven't found the right man for you, even though you've followed all of these tips to the letter. It could be because neither you nor the man are able to change. Yet life is constantly and often evolving beyond what you might imagine.

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