If a man likes you and the feeling is not mutual, it is possible that you feel like you are in a dilemma. You shouldn't only give him false hope, but you shouldn't hurt him either. The best way to overcome this problem is to discuss it with him. During the conversation, you should clearly and sincerely communicate your feelings to her.
Part 1 of 3: Prepare for the discussion
Step 1. Know that they like you
If you are not sure about this, do not act on it. You might lose a friend by listening to other people's gossip or misguide yourself into thinking they love you. There are several telltale signs that show they are attracted to you.
- He often invites you out.
- He tries to make physical contact all the time.
- He wants to be alone with you.
Step 2. Avoid procrastinating
The longer you wait, the worse it gets. Her feelings will grow, and after you tell her the truth, you will lose her friendship.
Step 3. Don't avoid it forever
You might think it would pick up the message if you avoided it, which it won't. You should take the time to chat with him when you are alone so that he is not embarrassed.
Step 4. Make a plan
You must prepare yourself by writing what you are going to say. Indeed, if you start to search for the words, you will make the discussion more embarrassing and lengthy, and it will be a very difficult time to pass. When developing your plan, you are required to provide certain points that will allow you to give reasons why you are not interested in it. Do not pretend that he is vulgar: tell him frankly the reason for your rejection.
- You can't seem to forget your old boyfriend.
- It does not attract you physically.
- You prefer someone else.
Step 5. Chat on the phone
However, you have the possibility of evoking all these reasons if you exchange with him by message or by phone call. The most important thing to remember while doing this is to be emphatic. Make sure that he realizes that there will never be anything between you.
Part 2 of 3: Chat
Step 1. Take the situation seriously
You will have to tell him that you want to have a serious conversation with him. Thus, he will take everything you say to heart. If you don't spell it out, he may not understand the importance of the discussion.
Step 2. Be kind
Push it back gently. Give her a compliment or two, but let her know it's not enough.
- You're a good friend, but we can't date.
- You'll make a woman happy, but it won't be me.
Step 3. Present her your recoil message
Even after you state the reasons why you don't like him, he may not fully understand what you are implying. For this, after giving the various reasons, clearly present your message of hindsight.
- We will not be able to have a romantic relationship.
- If you want, we can be friends.
- There is not a real chemistry between us.
Step 4. Convince him that your feelings will not change
If you don't tell him that outright, he might be hoping for some kind of relationship. Make an effort not to let him go in the hope that you will have feelings for him in the future. Define the ground rules for your friendship (if he agrees to be your friend).
Step 5. Be frank
Allow him to ask questions if he wishes and tell him the truth. You have no interest in covering up your emotions with lies: tell him the truth. Thus, he will move on to something else faster.
Step 6. Be willing to listen
Going through the discussion will help you, but it can also hurt you, as you will have preconceived opinions about what is going to happen. Instead of approaching him directly with your preconceived ideas, sit down across from him and listen to what he has to say. This way, he will be attentive to what you are saying as well.
Step 7. Agree to end the discussion
To make sure he's got the whole conversation, ask him what he thinks about it all. Stick to your position and don't stop the discussion without him realizing that you don't like him. You need to clarify things before ending the discussion.
Part 3 of 3: Evolving in the Discussion
Step 1. Be polite
Just because you told him you don't have feelings for him doesn't mean you have the right to be rude or ignore him. Don't think your choice makes him weak or destroys him. He's going to overcome that, so treat him as a human being. Don't choose to ignore it forever.
Step 2. Give it some space
Don't go against your decision to see if he's okay. If you run into him, be kind to him, but don't come into contact with him under other circumstances. Rejection hurts, and if you keep reminding him of this, he will often be hurt. It could lead to self-esteem, aggression, and anger issues - you shouldn't be the cause of all of this.
Step 3. Don't take him for a ride
If he chooses to be your friend as a result of your discussion, be sure to set a clear boundary of your convenience. You could discuss this later in case either of you wants to take the time to think about it. Discussing this will allow both of you to close the previous discussion.
- If you don't find it wrong to talk about your respective appearances, you can discuss it.
- Decide for yourself whether you can shake hands, hug each other, or more.
- Compliment him during the chat so he doesn't feel depressed.
- Don't be surprised if he gets defensive or angry, because rejection is hard to take.