How to have an open relationship: 10 steps (with pictures)

How to have an open relationship: 10 steps (with pictures)
How to have an open relationship: 10 steps (with pictures)

A free relationship is an interpersonal relationship in which each party wishes to be with the other, agreeing to form a non-monogamous relationship, so it is not exclusive. Generally speaking, this means that either partner can have intimate relationships with other people. It is a difficult question to tackle at the beginning of a relationship and such a relationship is especially very difficult to maintain in the long term. It is not something that everyone can accept since it is not common, but you can make it a good experience if you know how to maintain it.


Part 1 of 3: Knowing what an open relationship is

Have an Open Relationship Step 1

Step 1. Ask yourself some questions

Find out exactly what makes you want an open relationship. Is it because you are no longer satisfied with your partner? Is it just because you want to try it out? Are you convinced that it will improve your relationship with your current partner? These are all important questions to consider before discussing the topic with your partner.

  • Do not forget that you must have very good motivations before thinking of discussing it with your partner. For some, this is a completely taboo and negative subject. Unless your partner has mentioned it before, don't assume that she will accept it.
  • Ask yourself whether it is worth it. It is quite possible that bringing up such a subject with your partner will divide you. She might feel like you are no longer happy in the relationship. Be totally convinced that this is really what you want as it can lead to you losing your current partner.
Have an Open Relationship Step 2

Step 2. Love your partner even more

Know that being in an open relationship does not in any way mean that your love for your partner will have to disappear. In fact, many people believe that for a free relationship to be successful and lasting, there must necessarily be an even stronger connection between the partners.

  • If you can't do it, consider whether or not it's worth having such a relationship. You're probably looking for a way out of your current relationship without breaking up, and that's not a good reason at all to get into a non-exclusive relationship.
  • You will need to form a much deeper bond with your partner because you may be tempted to fall in love with other people. Ask yourself whether you will be able to continue to love your partner while seeing other people as well.

Part 2 of 3: broaching the subject

Have an Open Relationship Step 3

Step 1. Find the best time to bring up the topic

Find a time when you can spend an hour or two seriously discussing the issue. It will undoubtedly take a long time for you to tackle the intricacies of the relationship and whether or not you and your partner would like to experience it.

  • Before you start the discussion, get away from your computer, cell phone, or anything else that might distract you.
  • Make sure your partner realizes the seriousness of the discussion. Your partner shouldn't be surprised.
Have an Open Relationship Step 4

Step 2. Bring up the question of the open relationship

Then ask your partner what she thinks about it. See his reaction and assess his opinion before continuing. If you ever notice that she reacts very badly to the question, don't push the plug any further. Stop talking about it and change the subject at the same time.

  • Be sure to let her know that you are completely happy with your current relationship, but just want to have some new experiences and spice it up a bit.
  • Pay special attention to your partner's body language, as this can express emotions that the words may not convey.
Have an Open Relationship Step 5

Step 3. Explain to her what an open relationship is

If you notice that your partner seems to accept the idea, explain to her what you mean by "open relationship" and what makes you want such a relationship.

  • Make it clear that this is a generous, non-selfish relationship. That it is not co-dependent.
  • Remember to let her know that you can experience this relationship for a trial period and you can stop everything at any time if someone between you two feels uncomfortable.

Part 3 of 3: discussing the details

Have an Open Relationship Step 6

Step 1. Discuss the limits and goals of the open relationship

Clearly explain to your partner what you plan to get out of the relationship and what the limits should be. Then invite them to state their limits. Find a compromise based on this information.

  • Determine with your partner whether you should seek the other's permission before embarking on an affair with someone else. Some prefer to have the right of "veto".
  • Then decide if you need to be informed about what the other partner is doing. Would you like to know if the other partner is having a relationship with someone else or would you rather not know anything?
Have an Open Relationship Step 7

Step 2. Establish the ground rules

Determine how far each partner can go. You can decide that each of you is free to have sex with the partner of your choice. You can also set certain limits or request that your partner only have sex with a particular gender. Some couples even define geographic boundaries so that their relationship becomes “free” when the couple is separated by a great distance.

Have an Open Relationship Step 8

Step 3. Talk about protection

If one of you ever gets a sexually transmitted infection, both of you will be infected. It is therefore important to discuss it. Will each partner need to make sure that the person they are seeing does not have an STI? Is verbal assurance sufficient or is it necessary for you to have medical documents? Will each partner need to protect themselves when engaging in all kinds of sexual activity or just a few?

Have an Open Relationship Step 9

Step 4. Determine if you should tell your loved ones about it

Find out if you should tell your families and family members about it. Be aware that this is a very delicate subject and that most people will not accept such a relationship.

It's okay not to tell your friends and family about it if you're not comfortable doing so

Have an Open Relationship Step 10

Step 5. Tell her that you have to be honest

Finally, don't forget to tell her that communication will be the key to the success of this relationship. Both of you agree to be completely honest with each other. If you lie to each other about what you do with other people, suspicion and paranoia will take over in the relationship.

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