It can be difficult and confusing to wonder if you are not in love with a friend. Try to sort through your emotions and think about why you think you are attracted to your friend. A loved one or a member of your family can also help you clarify things. Watch for signs, such as if you feel jealous, think about him all the time, or find his irritating habits adorable. Imagine what would happen if you invited her out, had intimate relationships, and were in a relationship. These imaginary situations can help you get a better idea of your feelings and decide whether pursuing a romantic relationship is worth jeopardizing your friendship.
Method 1 of 3: Sort through your feelings
Step 1. Ask yourself if you want a relationship
Try to be honest with yourself and consider whether you just want the attention and affection that comes with a relationship. It's easy to get overwhelmed by true love feelings, and it's okay to feel lonely and want affection.
Ask yourself if your feelings are really focused on this particular person. Can you imagine yourself as a couple together or do you only see yourself with him (her)?
Step 2. Think about what kind of attraction you are feeling
You choose to be friends with someone because you feel attracted to them. However, the attraction you feel for someone you consider to be a friend is different from romantic or physical attraction.
- Ask yourself if you just like his company or if you want a deeper emotional connection. If so, is this feeling constant or is it rather intermittent?
- If you experience a physical attraction, ask yourself if it is subjective or objective. Do you think he is attractive? Do you really want to have an intimate relationship with him? Is it more of a general feeling, for example: “I understand why other people find him attractive. "
Step 3. Talk to someone you trust
Ask your close friends questions about their experiences with their romantic feelings. Try to use their perspective on love and relationships to take stock of your situation. Ask yourself if your feelings have something in common with how they describe romantic attraction.
You could also ask a parent or a sibling for advice
Method 2 of 3: Observe the signs
Step 1. Observe your mood swings in her company
If everything suddenly turns pink and you feel like jumping for joy every time he / she walks into the room, you might be having romantic feelings. Complicated feelings are also a sign of romantic attraction. When you think about him, you feel excited, impatient, nervous, and full of desire all at the same time.
- If you are feeling overwhelmed, try to clear your mind and reflect on your emotions. Imagine that your feelings are like a pie. Once you have cut parts of it, see each of them as a separate emotion and identify it.
- When in doubt, trust your instincts. If a particular person drastically affects your mood and emotions more than others, there's a good chance you are in love with them.
- See this attraction in the context of your life. Are you going through a difficult time or a breakup with your current partner? This makes you more vulnerable than usual to changes in emotions and feelings.
Step 2. Observe a feeling of jealousy
Jealousy is a sure sign that you want to be more than a friend. Do you feel possessive, sad, or angry when you have your friend flirting with someone else? If he is already in a relationship, do you blame his partner, even if it is only unconsciously?
Step 3. Consider the time you spend together
If you spend as much time as possible together, it probably indicates that you have romantic feelings. This is even more the case if you prefer to spend this time alone rather than with the rest of your friends.
When you're at a party or group outing, do you try to keep others away to spend some time alone with that person?
Step 4. Ask yourself how often you think of him (her)
If the slightest thing reminds you, you are probably in love. Watch your thoughts and take note of the times when you wonder what he's doing, when you think about his hair or other little details, or when you feel the need to text or text him. to call.
Step 5. Ask yourself if you are forgetting its flaws
Positive delusions, that is, when you have a better opinion of someone, are a normal part of romantic attraction. For example, your friends might tease you about this person by telling you they're silly or always late, but you still think they're the cutest thing in the world.
Method 3 of 3: Experiment
Step 1. Try to relax and clear your mind
Sit in a quiet place so you can focus on your feelings. As you imagine each scenario, be honest with yourself and listen to what your gut is telling you.
Step 2. Imagine how you would feel if you confessed your feelings to her
Ask yourself what would happen if you told your friend that you have deeper feelings for him (her). Imagine what you would say to him, if that would make him nervous and his reaction.
- If you get really nervous just imagining it, you are probably in love with your friend.
- Ask yourself what confessing your feelings would change in the relationship. Even if you have feelings for him (her), ask yourself if your friendship is more important than expressing how you feel.
- Ask yourself if he might feel the same way for you. If not, imagine how your relationship might change if you admitted it to her.
Step 3. Imagine going out together
How would your outings be different as friends or as a couple? Do you sometimes imagine or want your outings to be romantic dates instead of simple outings with friends? If so, you can be sure that you are in love with your friend.
- Weigh the pros and cons and try to decide if it is worth jeopardizing your friendship by telling him how you feel. Even if you're in love with him, you might want to move on if you think a romantic relationship won't be as fulfilling as your friendship.
- However, if you want to start a romantic relationship that makes the connection you have more fulfilling and genuine, it might be worth taking the risk of a long-term relationship.
Step 4. Visualize intimate relationships together
If you haven't already, imagine kissing, hugging, or participating in other forms of intimate relationships. Are you sexually attracted to your friend? Do you feel emotionally connected? Does this sound pleasant or weird to you?
It is normal to feel physically attracted to someone without having romantic feelings for that person. When imagining intimate relationships, try to decide if you only think your friend is attractive or if a physical relationship would involve a deeper emotional connection
Step 5. Imagine a breakup
No one likes to be rejected, but think about how that would feel. Do you think you could become friends again? If you have deeper feelings for your friend, do you think they could continue to be a part of your life after a possible breakup?