You've finally found the courage to tell a friend how you feel about her, but unfortunately, she doesn't share the same feelings as you. It's hard enough to accept rejection from someone you don't know, but rejection from a friend can get really devastating. Fortunately, you can learn to accept this disappointment and move on. Your ego may have been hurt, so start dealing with your emotions and increasing your self-esteem. Then try to pick up the pieces with the person who rejected you.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Manage your emotions
Step 1. Take a break before reacting negatively
If you want to maintain a friendly relationship with the other person, don't let your emotions guide your behavior. Refusal can make you feel angry, hurt, and embarrassed. Don't react impulsively or express your frustration to your friend.
Before adding anything else, take a few deep breaths to come to your senses. Don't rush to make decisions and give yourself time to calm down
Step 2. Walk away from the person
Being close to her can be difficult, especially after telling her how you feel about her. Ask her for some time to analyze your feelings. You can discuss how to continue your relationship later. Right now, it wouldn't do you any good to pretend you're not hurt and keep dating her.
You can say, “I need some time to come to terms with your reaction. I really want to see you again, but maybe in a few days. "
Step 3. Take care of your injuries by taking care of yourself
It's normal to feel dejected after rejection. Handle this feeling with a lot of love. Be kind to yourself, just as you would be to a friend who has the flu. Spoil yourself with a special lunch or dinner, watch all the episodes from one of your favorite series, or hit the gym. Engage in activities that make you feel better.
You may be tempted to use mind-altering substances, such as alcohol and drugs. You will not feel better after consuming them. Instead, take care of yourself by eating balanced meals, exercising, and getting enough sleep
Step 4. Write down your feelings in a diary
In this way, you express the feelings brought on by the rejection. You could describe what happened, how the other person reacted and how you felt. A diary is the perfect tool to identify your emotions and learn to deal with them.
Step 5. Confide in someone you trust
Share how you are feeling with a close friend. Make sure you can trust her so that your conversation stays private. They may be able to give you advice or comfort you after the situation.
For example, you could say this, “Laura, I feel humiliated. I told Paul I loved him and he said he didn't feel the same for me. I do not know what to do. "
Step 6. Review your thoughts on rejection
To be able to cope with rejection, you can also try to change the way you see things. You might be thinking that there is something wrong with you. Replace this view with more realistic thoughts.
- For example, the other person may have told you no because they want to keep your friendship. She doesn't want to risk losing you if the romantic relationship doesn't work out.
- Another valid point of view is that your friend has rejected you because there is someone more compatible with you. You just have to wait to meet her.
- Remember, it takes a lot of courage to tell someone about your feelings. So, admire your daring!
Method 2 of 3: Boost your self-esteem
Step 1. List your best qualities
Rejection can lower your self-esteem, so try to remember that you are an exceptional person. Take the time to list all the reasons you are amazing. Do not be shy ! No one else should see this list.
- You can include qualities such as "I can listen to people very well", "I have artistic qualities" and "I am generous" in the list.
- If you cannot identify qualities, ask your best friend or your parents for advice. These people will undoubtedly recognize all of your positive traits.
Step 2. Get out of your comfort zone
Heal your injured ego by doing extraordinary things. When we try something new, we realize our hidden talents. You don't have to do anything extreme, as long as it's different from the hobbies you usually do.
For example, sign up for a flamenco class or organize a little trip to a town near you
Step 3. Think positively
After rejection, it's normal for a lot of negative thoughts to come over you. Silence them by focusing on positive thoughts. Repeat affirmations that encourage you throughout the day. If they don't occur to you, do some research on the Internet.
- Here are some examples of positive affirmations: "I am good at a lot of things", "I am adorable!" Or "A lot of people like to be with me. "
- Repeat these affirmations every morning when you wake up and periodically throughout the day when you are feeling down.
Step 4. Spend time with people who like you
The best way to heal your injured ego is to feel loved. Make an effort to surround yourself with people who like you. For example, you can spend time with your next of kin, stay longer at the table during meals or organize a game night. Meet your closest friends often.
Step 5. Consider dating another person on a non-binding basis
You won't have to rely on others to make you feel better about yourself. However, getting into dating and starting a relationship with another person can help you recover from the experience. Now is not the time to engage with anyone, at least until your wounds are healed. However, be aware that dating can be very distracting and fun.
- Go chat with the girl who's trying to get your attention at the cafe. Accept the invitation to go to the movies that this boy who has been flirting with you for weeks is offering you.
- Immediately tell the person that you are trying to forget someone and that you are not looking for anything serious. Think about having fun and see what happens.
Method 3 of 3: Preserve Friendship
Step 1. Speak sincerely about the state of your relationship
When you feel ready to confront your friend, ask them to meet with you to discuss it. You must decide together how to move forward. If you ignore the problem, your friendship will suffer. So bring up this topic to face this difficult conversation.
- You can say, "I want us to be friends, but I notice I made you uncomfortable." How can we turn the page? "
- Listen carefully to the other person. Find out exactly what his feelings and thoughts are. Find solutions to minimize embarrassment and resentment.
Step 2. Respect their limits
If you can save your friendship and resume your old ways, your old feelings may reappear. In this case, don't try to change your friend's mind or persuade her to date you. She made it clear to you that she didn't feel the same way for you: so respect her choice.
You must decide to remain friends with this person. If you can't deal with your feelings, which don't fade over time, you might want to walk away from her
Step 3. Realize that the relationship may not return to what it used to be
Your friend may feel uncomfortable being with you after you reveal your deepest feelings to her. Likewise, you may still feel humbled by rejection. No matter how hard you try to keep the relationship going, you may find yourself spending less time together.
- Accept that when love kicks in, the dynamics of the relationship change. If either of you prefers to spend less time with the other, you have to agree.
- Your friendship may not improve until the two of you have a satisfying romantic relationship, so be prepared to wait a long time before things return to normal.
