When you fall in love with someone you are friends with, it can be very difficult to move from friendship to something more romantic. Depending on your personality and the nature of your relationship, you can try a frank conversation with the person in question considering the current state of your relationship and where you would like to take it. You can also work towards moving from friendship to something more romantic by changing your behavior.
Part 1 of 3: Talking about your feelings
Step 1. Analyze the risks
Before starting a conversation about your relationship and what new direction you would like it to be, analyze the risks associated with this request. The person in question may or may not feel the same. You need to be prepared in case the person doesn't feel the same way you do.
As you analyze the risks, consider your reaction to its potential response. If the answer was not in your favor, would you still be friends? Would you just end your relationship? Prepare to accept any response
Step 2. Ask to discuss
Once you feel completely ready to accept any response, ask the person if you can have a serious conversation.
- You could use this phrase: “I really want to talk to you about something important about our relationship. What day and what time would be favorable to you? "
- You could also be more direct by using the following formula, for example: “I would like to discuss our relationship with you. When will you be available? "
Step 3. Choose a neutral location
This is a delicate conversation that you are going to have, so consider privacy when choosing the location. If you are already close friends, you might be very comfortable having this conversation in one of your homes.
- Don't choose a romantic location in the hope that it will influence the person's response. If the conversation isn't going the way you want it to be, being in a romantic restaurant can complicate matters further.
- You can also choose a cafe or a nice place in a public garden. Depending on how the conversation is going to go, it is best to converse in a place that you can easily leave, regardless of the outcome.
Step 4. Be honest
When you talk to the person you have only been friends with about your feelings, be honest and let them know how you feel and what you want to do with your relationship.
- You can start with this line: “I know we've been friends for a long time, but I feel there's something more between us. I'm starting to care about you more than it should be for a simple friendship and I wonder if you've ever felt the same.
- Emphasize that you don't want to compromise your friendship, but that your feelings are so strong and genuine that you felt the need to talk to them about it.
Step 5. Accept his response
When you confess feelings to someone, especially someone you have a friendship with, it is easy to feel very vulnerable especially when you are hoping for a positive response. Keep in mind that the person might not respond the way you want, and you need to respect them enough to accept the response as it is.
- If the answer is no, you can say something like "I understand what you are saying and I respect your answer. So let's talk about the future of our friendly relationship”. There it will be clear to your partner that you only want to continue with friendship.
- If the answer is yes, which would mean that your partner is willing to start a romantic relationship with you, you can express your relief through a phrase like this: "I'm so glad you feel the same way!" How far will we go from now on? This will allow you to discuss how you will nurture your new relationship.
- If your friend asks for time to think it over, say something like, “I understand this takes some thought. I am totally prepared to wait for you to make a decision”. Then ask if you could meet in about a week. Read their feelings to guide the discussion.
Part 2 of 3: Changing Behavior
Step 1. Take the initiative
If you have feelings for someone you are friends with, you can start to change the nature of the relationship by changing your behavior. Don't wait for the other to take the first step. Start the discussion or organize a more or less romantic dinner. If you want to turn your friendship into something more, the responsibility lies with you.
Step 2. Demonstrate your feelings
In a sincere friendship, people show that they care about each other in a number of ways, but if you are trying to switch to a romantic relationship, you will need to show that you have new feelings.
- You can prove your feelings by writing a note or card, or by offering an unexpected gift followed by a note stating “your intentions for the person”.
- You can also ask the person what you can do to make them feel appreciated or loved. This indicates that you are looking for ways to take the relationship to the next level without having a direct conversation.
Step 3. Flirt
One of the easiest ways to change your behavior and show the person that you want something more is to flirt. Compliment her clothes, her hair or the way she undertakes something: sing, talk, play a musical instrument, tell her that she is beautiful or pretty. She should realize very quickly that you want more than friendship.
- Say for example: I like the color of your shirt, it brings out the color of your beautiful eyes.
- You can also say, “I can hear you playing guitar all day. It makes my heart happy”.
Step 4. Do something new together
If you want to change your situation and the nature of your relationship, you can't just stick to the same things you've always done together. Suggest a new restaurant, maybe a candlelit dinner, or choose a new bar.
- You can invite him for a drink in these terms: “There is a new bar in the city center and it looks like a very romantic place. I know that is not what we are used to doing, but I think we can improve things a bit”.
- You can also invite her to do something you don't usually do, like take a walk, using these terms: “I thought we could go for a walk together. This should allow us to talk and be a little distant from others”.
Part 3 of 3: be intimate
Step 1. Carefully initiate physical contact
Most friends touch each other in one way or another, but if you want more from your relationship, you can start by slowly increasing or changing the type of physical contact you have. You are probably the best person to know what kind of contact your friend will accept, and you also know what level of physical contact already exists between you.
- Try resting your head on her shoulder as you sit down next to her. If she doesn't pull away or push you away, that's probably a really good sign. She may be interested in more than friendship.
- If she gets angry or tells you that she doesn't like what you are doing, back off immediately. Aside from the possible ruin of your friendship, unwanted physical contact is inappropriate.
Step 2. Go easy on physical intimacy
If things seem to be going well, there will come a time when you will turn your friendship into a more physically intimate one. You should move from friendship to a physically intimate relationship gradually.
- Talk often about the level of privacy you are comfortable with and do so before moving to a different level of privacy. For example, you can say: "I want to kiss you, will you? Respect his answer.
- It's also okay if you're the one slowing things down, even though you've started the relationship change.
Step 3. Don't overdo it
You should demonstrate your feelings, but neither should you suffocate your friend with attempts to take your relationship to the next level. Strike a balance between being available and keeping your distance.
- Being available and willing to do a lot for her as well as whatever she asks of you can also change the relationship, but it won't necessarily increase her desire for you. Surprise her every now and then with thoughtful gestures, but sometimes by limiting the time you spend with her. Strike a balance between satisfaction and tension.
- In other words, it's good to play badass.
Step 4. Be patient
A healthy romantic relationship takes time to develop, even if it doesn't start out platonically. When trying to turn friendship into romance, it can really take a while for that transformation to be complete. Be patient.