It's hard enough being a good boyfriend in general, but when you're a teenager it's even harder because of the hormones that mess with you and because you don't have a lot of experience, and so on. even for your girlfriend. But read this article to learn how to communicate, be attentive, and show affection, and you will become a great boyfriend.
Part 1 of 4: Communicate Correctly
Step 1. Be honest
If you want to be a good boyfriend, you have to learn to be honest with your girlfriend. It doesn't mean that you have to tell him everything that crosses your mind, every thought, but you have to be able to tell him if you are not well, that you are in a bad mood because you failed to do so. homework, or that the fact that she calls you every five minutes gets on your nerves.
- Tact is part of honesty. If you have to be honest about something you would like her to do or not do, tell her in a sympathetic way so that she doesn't get mad or upset.
- Don't say you've never had a girlfriend before if that's not true. You don't have to talk about the details, but don't hide this from him, don't lie about his past and experiences.
- You don't have to tell your girlfriend everything - for example, if you think one of the girls in your gym class is cute, keep it to yourself.
- If she finds out that you have been dishonest, her trust will quickly be destroyed.
Step 2. Compromise
Growing up and becoming a good boyfriend, a good son, and a good friend also means learning that you can't always have what you want. You might want to see the latest James Bond movie with your friends, but if it's the third time this week and your girlfriend would like to spend the evening with you, you have to make a choice and agree to compromise so that both are happy.
- Remember that it is better to be happy than a winner. If you think your girlfriend really wants something, when you only want it mildly, do her the favor.
- Be mature. If you and your girlfriend are arguing about something, sit down and list the pros and cons of each decision. It can help both of you see all the perspectives of a situation.
- Make sure you both compromise. It's not much of a compromise if you're the only one making it and your girlfriend always has what she wants, or vice versa.
- Learn to take turns. You can choose where to eat tonight, but she will choose the movie tomorrow.
Step 3. Apologize
Good communication skills also require knowing how to apologize if you've made a mistake. You may think that admitting that you are wrong only makes it worse, and makes you lose face, but in reality it's the opposite. If you admit that you made a mistake or acted badly, apologize with flowers or a kind note, she may be more able to forgive you and love you more than if you hadn't. not excused.
- Apologizing is not always easy - you have to be humble to do that. But if you make a habit of apologizing when you've done something wrong or hurtful, then it will come naturally.
- When you apologize, you should do it sincerely and correctly. Sit down, look your girlfriend in the eye, take her hands if you want to. This will show her that she matters to you and that you are sorry. If you quickly whisper "Sorry" when leaving the room, or texting, she won't take you seriously.
Step 4. Don't fight over nothing
It's important to disagree every now and then and work together to overcome those disagreements and find solutions to problems, but constantly arguing over nothing and provoking each other will only destroy your relationship. Teenage couples often quarrel because they don't have much experience in dealing with conflicts and compromises, having a serious conversation with a romantic partner. It takes a little time and practice.
- When you realize that you are raising your voice or screaming, calm down and take a few deep breaths. You won't solve anything by getting angry and heating up.
- If you find that your girlfriend often starts arguing, talk to her about how to change this.
- If you are embarrassed about something and feel that an argument is going to break out, ask yourself if it is really necessary.
- Don't let your anger build up - if something is really annoying you, it's better to talk about it than to avoid the topic and wait weeks, until the resentment and anger erupt and create an argument that's hard to manage.
Part 2 of 4: pay attention
Step 1. Learn to understand your girlfriend's moods
Some teenage girls may have sudden mood changes because of their hormones, and because of the confusion that accompanies adolescence. If you want to be a good boyfriend, you have to pay attention to her moods, her state of mind, and know when she is feeling happy, sad, uncomfortable… She may try to hide her emotions and feelings. felt, but when you get to know her better, you'll know how she really feels.
- If she's clearly upset about something, you can ask her why. If she doesn't want to talk about it, don't insist, she might feel even worse.
- If she is sad, give her love and affection. Ask her if she'd rather stay indoors or go for a walk, how she feels. She may want you to leave her alone, or give her a hug.
- Don't say, "I can tell you are in a bad mood." Instead, say, "Something wrong? I don't like it when you're like that. You can talk to me." If you accuse her of being in a bad mood, it may make her uncomfortable or upset her even more.
Step 2. Treat him to little treats
If you really want to be a good boyfriend, then pay attention to his needs. Maybe she's very busy at lunchtime because she has to revise in a hurry for her Spanish test: ask her if you can go get her some food while she's studying. If she is sick and is staying at home, ask her if she wants you to take her homework.
- If she has to go somewhere, offer to come with her or drive her there, if you have a car.
- If she needs help, she might not admit it immediately, so pay attention and see what you can do to help her.
- Make sure there is a good balance. If you give her little pleasures, she should do it too. If it's one-sided, then she might benefit from you …
Step 3. Be a support for her
You need to know that your girlfriend is a whole person, and you need to support her when she is trying to achieve her goals, to deal with conflicts in her life. Here's how to be a good support:
- If you know she has an important question soon, give her time to revise, or help her if you can.
- If she is passionate about sports, art, music, try to encourage her and be present at her matches or concerts, for example.
- If she is having family difficulties, be sure to pay attention and ask if there is anything you can do. And if she doesn't want to talk about it, don't push it.
- Ask him questions about his interests. If you know she is passionate about painting, violin, horseback riding, show your interest when she talks about it, try to share with her.
Step 4. Pay attention to her friends
It is very important that you pay attention to your girlfriend, but it is also important that you take a minimum of interest in her friends. These can make or break a relationship, so if they like you, they'll let your girlfriend know that she's found you a great boyfriend. But if they don't like you because you're rude or ignore them, they'll be quick to tell your girlfriend that you're not worth it and that she had better let go of you as fast as possible.
- Be nice to her friends. Say hello, even if you're not with your girlfriend, ask them how you're doing, that sort of thing. You can talk a bit about their interests and get to know them a bit.
- Don't ignore them. If you approach your girlfriend while she's with her friends, say hello to everyone.
- Don't tell your girlfriend that you don't like her friends. Even though they are a bit boring, they are important to your girlfriend, and if you understand this, you will move forward in your relationship.
Step 5. Don't ignore it in front of your friends
This is an important point. If your girlfriend arrives when you are with your friends, or if you go out on a group date with your friends, you still need to pay attention to her and let her know that she is important to you. Don't let her down after five minutes as soon as your friends arrive, or she'll feel like a drag and only want one thing: to leave.
- If the two of you are dating your group of friends, sit next to her and include her in your conversations. Don't leave her alone.
- Help your friends to know her better. If your friends are shy or a little embarrassed around your girlfriend, it will be difficult to have a good time with each other. Try to bring out any common interests that your friends might have with your girlfriend.
Step 6. Pay attention to your look
If you want to be a good boyfriend, you have to pay attention to your look. You don't have to dress like a star to show your girlfriend that you're on the cutting edge of fashion and know how to show off. Just be clean, shave if necessary, put on deodorant, dress as usual, with clean clothes, your size and ironed.
- If you are neglected, especially when you see her, she will think that she is not important to you and that she is not worth your effort to appear.
- It is important that you look good, especially before you pick her up on a date. Show them that it's worth your effort.
Step 7. Be a gentleman
Although it may seem a bit difficult as a teenager, try to treat your girlfriend like a gentleman, with all the respect she deserves. You have to be attentive to her needs, open the door for her and her friends when you go out together, pick up her cardigan if it falls …
- If you pick her up, open the car door for her.
- Let her enter a room first, before you do. (Except at the restaurant)
- If she seems cold, lend her your jacket.
- If you're taking her out to dinner, pull up her chair so she can sit down.
Step 8. Learn to see when she needs space, air
If you are careful, you will notice that there are times when she needs to be a bit lonely. Space and privacy are necessary for a healthy relationship, don't be upset if one day she doesn't want to see you, wants to sleep alone, or goes out with her friends without you. If you are with her over and over again, your relationship could get too intense, and overwhelming. Take time away from your girlfriend, do what you have to do, and you may realize that you miss her.
- If you are with her all the time, she might start to suffocate, feel like you are controlling her, dominating her. Let her breathe a little.
- If she wants to be a little lonely, don't see it wrong. If you get angry or upset, she'll think you have a problem.
- Leave her free time in her schedule. Don't try to schedule every weekend to be with her every second, also consider spending time with your friends and family.
Part 3 of 4: show your affection
Step 1. Compliment her
It's natural that you feel a little shy when giving your girlfriend a compliment. If you're a teenager, this might be the first compliment you give a girl, or a girl you're in love with, and you might feel a little uncomfortable, or not quite sure how. say things. But you have to make a habit of complimenting her when you like. It shows her that you care about her, that you notice her.
- Compliment her even more if she has a new fit or wears a new outfit.
- You can tell her she's beautiful anytime, not necessarily when she's dressed up or wearing something new. If you find her beautiful with a simple t-shirt and old jeans, tell her so.
- Don't overdo it - give her a compliment when you mean it.
- You can compliment something other than her looks - you can compliment her personality, her sense of humor, tell her that she is talented in one area …
Step 2. Give him affection in a physical way
If you want to show your affection concretely, put your arms around your girlfriend, take her hand, kiss her. You don't have to overdo it if you're a little embarrassed, or overdo it by stroking her everywhere as soon as you see her, but show her your affection with simple gestures.
- Give him hugs. Spend time with her, stroke her hair, give her kisses all over the place, put your arms around her waist. Girls like this in general, they feel protected and safe in your arms.
- Show your affection based on what your girlfriend likes. Don't make her feel ridiculous in public by covering her with a kiss, give her some room to breathe.
- Don't go too hard and too fast with the expressions of affection in public. Often, couples who are comfortable and feeling good don't hold hands all the time or show affection in public. You can be affectionate in public, but know when to stop so you don't make her uncomfortable.
Step 3. Ask if she is ready to take the next step
Don't put pressure on him. She could be very embarrassed.
- You can ask him the question directly, without detours.
- You can also try something new when the moment feels right and natural, with a kiss a little longer than usual or like that without warning. Be careful to read her verbal and physical reactions, and stop immediately if she is uncomfortable.
- Don't rush her! Let her go at her own pace. If she says it's too early, that she doesn't want to go any further yet, don't keep asking, push, or she may feel threatened or lose confidence in herself and her. you.
Step 4. Give him little gifts
It's a good way to show her your affection, whether your gift is big or small. If you're a teenager, you probably don't have a lot of pocket money, and you don't have to save months to give something wonderful to her. Offer him a small symbolic present, a little bear on Valentine's Day, a bouquet of wildflowers, a cinema ticket for his favorite film …
It is not the gift itself that counts, but the gesture. The gift shows that you took time for her
Step 5. Leave him sweet words
Sweet words are an old-fashioned but romantic way of showing that you care about your girlfriend, that you mean her. Leave her a note in her locker, or on her current table, or even during a romantic date. You don't have to say a lot - you can just say you've thought of her and give her a compliment, or mark a phrase that is close to both of you …
- Don't leave a note because you feel obligated, or if you are uncomfortable. But if you want to show your affection like that, then do it, it will please him.
- You can also send him a surprise text, with "I love you" or "I am thinking of you" written.It's a little less personal than a written note, but it's better than nothing, especially if you don't see each other for a while and can't leave a note.
Step 6. Take time to be romantic
Affection also goes through those times when you are just the two of you, on a date, at the park, and you can talk about your feelings, cuddle, or just do nothing. Try to have a "date" at least once a week or every two weeks in order to get together and take the time to make your relationship a little more romantic.
- Alternate the choices to decide where you are going and what you are doing. She may want to go mini-golf one weekend, and you may want to hit the beach the weekend after.
- Almost any situation can be romantic if you find yourself a little alone with your girlfriend and show her your affection, open your heart to her.
- Make time for your friends, too, but don't make your girlfriend feel like your last priority.
Part 4 of 4: make your relationship last
Step 1. Have common interests
If you want to be a good boyfriend and make your relationship last, you need to find common interests with your girlfriend. Although this can be difficult if you have complicated or busy schedules, you need to find activities for two to do: play tennis on the weekends, try sushi, go to the beach …
- You can try to find a TV show that both of you are hooked on.
- It doesn't really matter what you do - what matters is that you build a relationship, common interests, exchanges, sharing …
Step 2. Try to maintain some kind of freshness
If you've been with your girlfriend for a while, things can start to fall into a rut, and your relationship may lose some of its spice, some of its spark. Try to make things always interesting by finding new ways to compliment your girlfriend, going to new places for your dates, trying new hobbies.
- Pick it up after class and head to the park for a surprise picnic!
- Don't do the same thing every weekend. Try new things every time you go out, even if it's just a change of cinema, or an ice cream instead of a pancake on Sunday afternoon.
- Don't let yourself go. You should continue to look good, even if you have been with your girlfriend for a while. If you let go, she'll probably think that you don't care what she thinks, or that you just don't care about your look anymore.
Step 3. Maintain some form of independence
If you're a teenager, it's never a good idea to spend all of your time with your girlfriend. Face it: a relationship as a teenager is less likely to last as long as a relationship as an adult. So don't invest 100% of your time for the person you are with, or you might be disappointed. Your relationship may well continue to grow stronger and flourish even if you are not endlessly bonded to each other.
- Make time for your friends. Don't drop them to stay with your girlfriend.
- Don't let your girlfriend let her friends down to stay with you.
- Don't give up on your interests in your girlfriend. Keep playing with your band, skateboarding, going to metal concerts if you like it, but not her.
- If you and your girlfriend are together all the time, you won't have to look back to see what's wrong, or realize that your relationship is great. Spending time without each other helps you assess what you have, appreciate your relationship, and think about the things that are wrong.
Step 4. Don't go too fast
If you're a teenager, chances are your hormones are on the go, and you still want to go out, do something, get more intimate with your girlfriend. But if you want to make things happen too fast, make sure your girlfriend is on the same page as you. So your relationship will move forward at the same pace.
- Never put pressure on your girlfriend to do more than she wants. She may feel pressured to give in, and she'll probably regret it later, and so will you.
- If you keep wanting to take things further, your girlfriend might think that you are only with her for this, and that your relationship is not what she thought it was.
- Leave it to your girlfriend once in a while. Wait for her to tell you what she wants rather than imposing what you want or running the game.
- Don't go too fast, either in private or in general. Don't start talking about the University or the future if you've only been together for a few weeks. You can do this when you have full confidence in your girlfriend and both of you are ready to make plans.
- Be considerate, kind and funny! Girls always like to laugh a little.
- Don't try too hard either. Girls find it weird when boys try to impress them too much. But some girls like it when you try to impress them a little bit.
- If she thinks that you are cheating on her or that you love someone else, remind her how much you love her. Do something cute or really sweet to remind her how much she means to you.
- Let it play with your hair, even if it destroys your cut. Don't make a big deal out of it, it will make her feel bad. She will also feel like she can no longer touch you or feel comfortable around you, which of course you want to avoid!
- Listen to his music before you decide you don't like him. Even if it's a kind of music that you normally don't care about. If after a while you still don't like her, gently try to tell her that you have other interests. Share your music with her. Do not tell her that what she is listening to is "gay" because that is very insulting.
- Talk to him every day. Whether it's a text, a call or in person. Make sure she knows that she is important to you and that you love her.
- Opposites attract. You can like different things. Even though you have a lot in common, you can still like different things and have a strong relationship.
- Don't be paranoid. Let her talk to other guys, avoid wondering all the time if she is going to leave you or if she is angry, etc. Just love her as much as you can, treat her right, and hopefully you'll be fine.
- Make an effort to get along well with his friends. Be friendly, but don't flirt! You could easily hurt your girlfriend by doing this. Do your best not to argue with his friends. Maintain a good relationship with them because they know her well and can influence what she thinks of you.
- Answer her phone calls and don't complain if she wakes you up.
- When you're not feeling well and she comes to comfort you, don't be afraid to show your feelings, but don't overdo it! Girls love it when their guys are comfortable enough to cry a bit when they're sad or stressed or just not feeling well. And don't forget that it is not good to hide your deepest emotions from the girl you love.
- Don't change for her. She's dating you, right? It means that she loves you for who you are.
- Be a blue flower. Roses for Valentine's Day, telling her how beautiful she is when she wears joggers, etc. BUT don't overdo it either. Too much silliness is never attractive.
- Don't say "I love you" too early in the relationship. You should always wait at least a few weeks before telling her. Not just because you need to be genuine, but also because you need to be sure that the relationship will last a minimum of time. It hurts a lot to hear that you are loved and wanted just to hear the exact opposite a few months later.
- NEVER ask for nude photos of her. If she's okay with you seeing her naked, she'll show you in person.
- Don't be jealous of his exes. She is with you, not with them. Likewise, don't make her jealous of your exes. Keep your conversations with them to a minimum.
- Don't try to make her jealous or suggest that she is. But if you think she's jealous, show her affection again.
- Don't tell her that other girls are beautiful, even if she asks for your opinion. It can be disastrous. You don't want to know how much she loves Taylor Lautner. It is the same for her. She doesn't want to hear you talk about Megan Fox. It's worse for girls because they have very little self-confidence.
- If you don't have the same feelings for her, tell her. It can hurt a lot to be in a relationship where you don't know each other's feelings.
- If she has guy friends, don't be jealous. It's annoying and incredibly suffocating. Just subtly tell her that it bothers you a bit that she spends so much time with them. Never overdo it.
- Don't ask him to get off your knees. If you have ants in one leg, change position a bit. Be nice. If you tell her to go away, she'll think she's fat or heavy.
- Remember, regardless of time and place, any guy has a chance to wow a woman. No woman wakes up in the morning saying to herself, "God damn it, I hope no one is going to blow me away today!" You just have to get on the right track.