It's easy to think that her boyfriend is the right one, but it's harder to be sure… To determine if you are serious about this relationship and if it is worth it, analyze the situation.
Part 1 of 4: Knowing what it feels like
Step 1. Notice if you feel like Wonder Woman when you are around her
With him you should feel like a super hero. With it, you should feel like you can be whoever you want and that you can be successful in whatever you do. You shouldn't be afraid of life's challenges because it gives you self-confidence and gives you the strength to face them. When you are with him, you should feel like you can take over the whole world.
Step 2. Make sure you are comfortable enough to be yourself in front of him
It doesn't just mean being the fool that only your friends and family know. This means letting him see your weaknesses, whether it's seeing you without makeup, sweaty after a workout, or when you're crying or scared.
Step 3. Make sure you are not ashamed when you are with him
Do you feel the need to hide things in his presence? If you feel the urge to hide things about your life, then your boyfriend might not be "the right one." He should love you unconditionally, and if you're worried that he'll judge your winter legs to be slightly hairy, then he's probably not the man in your life.
Step 4. See how often you think about the future
Can you imagine spending distant holidays or birthdays together? Do you fantasize about the apartment, house, dog or even the kids you might have together someday?
Part 2 of 4: Examine How He Treats You
Step 1. Notice when he says I love you
It's great for him to respond to you I love you too after you say it first, but it's important that you aren't always the one to say the initial I love you. He will have to take the initiative from time to time. It shows that he is thinking about how he feels about you and that he isn't just following the script that he thinks is written for him.
If he doesn't say I love you, don't worry too much about it. Some men are very modest when it comes to talking about their feelings. Ask him why he never says "I love you" to you first, and tell him that you would like him to. He might then feel more comfortable declaring his love for you
Step 2. Make sure he doesn't rush you to have an intimate relationship until you are ready
Someone who wants to taste your body before they taste your heart clearly doesn't care about your needs. And if he can't see beyond his sexual desires, he probably won't be able to when it comes to making a serious commitment or starting a family.
Step 3. Notice if he tries to control you
If he frequently tells you what to do, tries to control your life, or manipulates your emotions to get what he wants, be careful! This man lacks self-confidence and thinks he is in charge of the relationship. The good will be confident around you and let you be who you are.
Step 4. Notice if he keeps you away from his friends
If he refuses to include you in his social plans and avoids telling you what he did with his friends the night before, he obviously doesn't want to include you in his life and might even do things. not very clear.
Step 5. Notice if it refers to your future
If you're not at the stage of the relationship where you're openly discussing the future, see if he lets out any clues. Even a small item like wondering what the two of you will be doing at an event in a month or two is a good sign.
- If he proposes to you too soon (eg: in less than a year), take the time to analyze why he is rushing. If you feel like accepting, suggest a long engagement to be sure.
- If he refuses to discuss the future, even after you've been in a relationship for a relatively long time (say a year), it's probably not the right one.
Part 3 of 4: Examine The Way You Treat It
Step 1. See if you naturally remember his birthday, your dating anniversary, and the days that are important to him
It's one way to determine if it's in your mind when it's not with you: it's one thing to make room for someone in your life, it's another to make room for it in your mind.
Step 2. Notice if you compliment him when he's not looking his best
Do you feel attracted to him even when he has food between his teeth or his hair that is too long? Or does your attraction to him come and go according to his presentation efforts?
Step 3. See if you are excited to include it in your life
Wanting to compliment her and include her in your family are important signs of trust. On the contrary, if you don't feel certain about your relationship, you might subconsciously make excuses not to introduce him to your loved ones and talk about him.
- Do you include it in your family plans? For example, do you invite him to spend the holidays with your family or do you just assume that he will accompany you there without needing an invitation?
- Do you want him to get along well with your family (going so far as to take his side) because it is important to you that your loved ones appreciate him?
- Do you suggest that your boyfriend call your mom if he needs advice on cooking, cleaning, etc. ?
Part 4 of 4: examine the relationship
Step 1. Notice how you change with each other
As humans, we often change when we come into contact with another person (especially when it is someone who is dear to us). Sometimes we change for the good, but sometimes we also change for the worse. You will need to determine if you are changing him in a positive way and if he is also changing you in a positive way.
- Do you notice that either of you becomes possessive, jealous, mistrustful, lazy, or constantly stressed? Then it probably won't be someone you should be dating. This person is probably not the right fit for you, and you won't like who you will become if you continue to date this man.
- Do you notice that you both inspire each other to be better people? Do you do more to get what you want out of life and for yourself when you are with him? Is it the same for him? Do you become calmer and happier people together? Your relationship would then be a healthy relationship and you will improve the life of the other.
Step 2. Think about how he lives his life
Does this coincide with what you hope for your future? Does he share your values? For example, if you sort through the trash and he throws his trash out his car window, could your relationship work?
Step 3. Notice the way you confess your feelings to yourself
Is he comfortable when he reveals his softer side? Tell her openly that you love her and even go so far as to say I love you so much or play I love you even more.
Look for discrepancies between what he says and what he communicates. We are sometimes so easily blinded by someone proclaiming their love to us through romantic poems that we forget to make sure they are backed up by facts. At the same time, we are so easily frustrated with a man who is not romantic that we forget to notice the caring and loving gestures he has for us. Notice if either of you fits any of these categories
Step 4. See if you are both comfortable in each other's space
It is often said that living together is the ultimate test of compatibility. A relationship that takes place entirely in restaurants and public gardens may be all champagne and roses, but having to share the chores, watching the other shave and tripping over the dirty laundry can dispel the mirage in no time. of time. If you live together, are you able to compromise and share responsibility? If you don't live together, do you at least have the key to your partner's home? If so, do you feel welcome?
Step 5. Ask yourself if you know how to balance the time spent together and the time spent alone
Having each of your own interests will allow you to develop a more interesting relationship and allow you to maintain a healthy and independent identity. If your relationship is on the right track, you will feel comfortable and secure even when you are not together.
- For a good relationship, be your partner's best friend. It is important that you listen to each other and know how to compromise without arguing too much.
- If he tells his friends about you, that's a very good sign. This means he is not ashamed of you and even proud of you. If he keeps your relationship a secret, then he's probably not the man in your life.
- Take the time to get to know your partner, know what he likes and what he doesn't like. Make him feel like he's your priority.
- Be patient. Don't let it take over your body. If he doesn't respect that, things could quickly get out of hand.
- Get to know the worst sides of his personality. If you can accept them then he might be the right one, but don't get involved in the relationship thinking that you can change him, it will only flood your relationship with stress and friction.
- Watch how he behaves with his parents, siblings and older relatives. Does he respect them? Does he cherish them? Look at how he behaves with his father: does he love him and respect his choices? Is it the same with the women in his life?
- The most important thing is to follow your instincts. Evaluate and analyze your feelings. Are you rushing into the relationship? Is something holding you back from getting involved?
- Get to know him. Ask him simple questions. See if you have a lot in common.
- Tell him that you love him and be loyal to him always.
- Don't give it your full attention. If he needs your full attention and gets upset or clingy when you're not available to him, then this is a red flag.
- See how he reacts when the going is not in his favor. Does he manage his emotions well?
- Don't ask her to give you her full attention. You might suffocate him and pull him away from you.
- Don't expect to talk or see each other every day. However, sending a message or making a phone call only takes a moment and will let your partner know that you are thinking of them.
- If he maintains a relationship with his ex, but refuses to respect your boundaries and feelings about it, he probably doesn't consider you important enough to change his relationship with this woman. But know that ultimatums are often not a solution. If he's in a friendly relationship with an ex and you have unreasonable demands on how much time he can spend with her, you might just convince him he's with the wrong person.
- If he does something that you dare not confess to your best friend, seriously consider whether you are being honest with yourself. If your best friend told you that her boyfriend does the same, what would you advise her? To leave him? To calm down? Be honest with yourself and take care of yourself like you would take care of a friend.
- If he makes major decisions (like a career change or moving to another city) without including you, he doesn't see you as a permanent part of his life.
- If when you tell him I love you so, so, so much, he hesitates to answer you yeah, I love you too, he probably doesn't feel for you what you feel for him.