How to try to like someone: 12 steps (with pictures)

How to try to like someone: 12 steps (with pictures)
How to try to like someone: 12 steps (with pictures)
Anonim

It's not easy to try to love someone. Love is a complex mix of circumstances and chemicals, and there is no right formula for it to be born. Why do you want to try to love someone? Remember that you may not be able to force things. If you are determined, you may be able to open the doors of love by establishing intimacy and emotional connection.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: laying the groundwork

Make Yourself Love Someone Step 1

Step 1. Be patient

Remember that love at first sight doesn't always happen at first sight. Allow yourself to feel comfortable with this person. Notice the feelings of affection that gradually come over you as spring arrives. Differentiate between love and desire and try to truly appreciate this person.

Make Yourself Love Someone Step 2

Step 2. Allow yourself to be vulnerable

It can be difficult to truly love someone if you are not genuine and honest around them. Do not hesitate to share your dreams, your joys, your doubts and your fears with this person. Make an authentic, human and powerful connection.

It might be terrifying to be honest like this, but be brave. Show him your scars, crying, and deepest thoughts (but maybe not all at the same time)

Make Yourself Love Someone Step 3

Step 3. Focus on the best

People are complicated, and different aspects of a person can attract and repel you simultaneously. It will be much easier for you to love her if you focus your attention on the positive rather than the negative. If the negatives are relatively minor, it may be a good decision. However, if these negative elements are decisive factors for honesty, it may be unwise to ignore them.

Make Yourself Love Someone Step 4

Step 4. Pretend until you get there

According to some research, pretending to be in love with someone can actually create real feelings of connection and intimacy. If you're comfortable with him, try to act like you're in love with him. Use your imagination and see where it takes you.

  • Be careful with this trick. Make sure you don't pretend too long that you get lost. Do what you can to live an authentic life.
  • This approach may seem more effective if the other person does the same. It is sometimes difficult to generate love if the two of you are not both fully engaged.

Part 2 of 3: Developing intimacy with the person

Make Yourself Love Someone Step 5

Step 1. Use the Aron method

Elaine and Arthur Aron are social psychologists who have spent about 50 years studying how and why people fall in love. Thanks to their research carried out in a laboratory, they developed a list of three sets of twelve questions which are supposed to promote a deep connection between two individuals. You may not solve your problems with these questions, but the method has been proven to be effective in rekindling the flame in long-term relationships with a partner and bonding strangers.

Make Yourself Love Someone Step 6

Step 2. Answer the first set of questions

Tell your partner or the person you like about this experience. Agree to sit together until you have answered all 36 questions. It should only take a few hours altogether.

  • If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you invite to dinner?
  • How would you like to be famous? How ?
  • Before calling someone, do you repeat what you will say? Why ?
  • What would a perfect day look like to you?
  • When was the last time you sang to yourself? What about another person?
  • If you had the opportunity to live to be 90 and have the body or mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which of the two would you choose?
  • Do you have a secret hunch on how you're going to die?
  • Say three things that you think you have in common with your partner.
  • What do you feel most grateful for in life?
  • If you could change anything about the way you were brought up, what would it be?
  • Take 4 minutes to tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  • If you could wake up tomorrow with a new skill or quality, what would it be?
Make Yourself Love Someone Step 7

Step 3. Go to the next set of questions

After answering the first 12 questions, re-rate the experience. If you still get along well with this person, skip to the next 12 questions. Know that they are designed to gradually have more and more personal and deep answers.

  • What would you ask if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about your life, yourself, your future, or anything else?
  • Is there something you have wanted to do for a long time? Why haven't you done it yet?
  • What is the greatest achievement of your life?
  • What do you value most in a friend?
  • What is your most precious memory?
  • What is your most painful memory?
  • If you knew that in a year you were going to die suddenly, would you change your current lifestyle? Why ?
  • What does friendship mean to you?
  • How important is love and affection in your life?
  • You can also share five characteristics that you consider to be positive in the other person.
  • How close and warm is your family? Do you think you had a happier childhood than most people?
  • What do you think of the relationship you have with your mother?
Make Yourself Love Someone Step 8

Step 4. Answer the last set of twelve questions

At this point, it's important to have a deep conversation with the other person. You may feel an intimate and powerful connection, or you may just be comfortable talking to him. If you feel that this experience is still positive, continue with the last twelve questions and prepare for an even more emotional experience.

  • Say three sentences using the pronoun "we". For example, “we are in this room. "
  • Complete the following sentence: "I would like to have someone in my life to share …"
  • If you want to be a close friend of your partner, share something with her that would be important for her to know.
  • Tell her what you liked most about her. Be very honest and say things to him that you wouldn't say to a new acquaintance.
  • Share an embarrassing moment in your life with her.
  • When was the last time you cried in front of someone? And alone ?
  • Tell that person something that you already like about them.
  • Is there something too serious that you can turn into a joke?
  • If you were to die that night without being able to speak to someone, what would make you wish you had said so? Why haven't you told him yet?
  • Imagine your house is on fire with all your belongings inside. Once you've saved your loved ones and pets, you have time to take one final turn and save a single item. What would it be? Why ?
  • Of all the members of your family, who is the person whose death would hurt you the most? Why ?
  • Tell the person about a problem that is happening to you and ask them to tell you how they would have solved it. Also ask him how you seem to be feeling about the problem you told him about.
Make Yourself Love Someone Step 9

Step 5. Look her in the eye

It has been shown that deep and continuous eye contact can go a long way in fostering intimate feelings between two people. Eye contact alone probably won't make you fall in love, but it's still part of the puzzle. If you want to be closer to someone, tell them you want to look them in the eye for 4 minutes.

If you're a little embarrassed to let her know, try staring at her for a good while whenever the opportunity arises. Ideally, you should do this during a conversation or in an intimate moment

Part 3 of 3: Limit Your Expectations

Make Yourself Love Someone Step 10

Step 1. Be honest with yourself

Think about the reasons why you want to fall in love with this person and make sure they are valid. Remember that you don't have to love someone just because you are loved. Avoid forcing yourself to love for convenience or social formality.

Make Yourself Love Someone Step 11

Step 2. Grasp the complexity of love

Love arises from a series of conscious and unconscious choices in varying ways. Deep feelings of attachment and attraction are the result of subtle hormones and pheromones (chemicals that work quietly) and make it more or less likely to fall in love with the other person.

  • Either way, you can create the perfect conditions for arousing love. On the other hand, real feelings may get out of your control. Try to put things in perspective.
  • Study love. Understand why people fall in love: How does intimacy and attraction fuel the dopamine and serotonin receptors in the brain and cause us to externalize our feelings so intensely? If you have mastered the science of love, you might get a better idea of ​​how it manifests.
Make Yourself Love Someone Step 12

Step 3. Make sure you want it

Maybe you've fallen in love with a longtime partner and want to rekindle the flame. Are you doing it because you want to or for reasons of stability: children, friends or a mortgage? You may have had an arranged marriage or have a serious relationship with someone you don't yet know. Beyond the social consequences, remember that you don't have to force yourself to like anyone! Allow yourself to honestly and naturally discover the love you deserve.

Advice

  • Be tolerant. Remember, you won't be able to find the perfect match. Nobody is perfect.
  • Don't rush things. Be patient. Love doesn't always show up quickly.
  • Don't pretend to be someone else just to please others. Love based on such a lie can be wrong. Sooner or later it will collapse, even if it is minimal.
  • Accept that if the spark is gone, it may be. Don't try to force anything.

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