The best you can do to find out if this guy is right for you is to listen to your intuition. But that's not always enough, and you should watch for other signs that can tell you if you can move on or change course. Ultimately, no one can make that decision except yourself.
Part 1 of 3: Understanding what it feels like
Step 1. Know that it is not for you if you do not accept its flaws
Many people imagine that the ideal partner is the perfect one, a sort of demigod who will solve all problems and turn everyday life into a fairy tale. The real way to know if it is right for you, however, is whether you are able to accept the faults of the person you love. He's the one for you if you accept his loud burping, bad musical taste, or chronic mess without cringe.
That's not to say that you shouldn't ask him to improve a bit, like learning how to clean his own dirt. But you probably won't be able to put up with its imperfections if it isn't right for you
Step 2. Admit that it is not yours if you are not impatient to see it
Contrary to popular belief, you're not going to be in seventh heaven 24/7 with him if he's the right man for you. But you won't feel a thing when you get ready to see him or go to his house if he really isn't right for you. You should be impatient to see it if it's the right one for you.
- You might regard this man as a friend, unless he has ended up boring you, if you don't feel any joy at the thought of seeing him again.
- The next time you get ready to see it, ask yourself if it makes you happy. Do you have a heart that beats a little? Have you been thinking about it all day? You don't have to be madly happy every time you date him, but it should definitely be something you look forward to.
Step 3. Do not insist if he does not have the same vision of the future as you
If he's the right one, you'll already have to think about what you'll be doing for the rest of your life, whether it's getting married, having kids, or whatever is a traditional couple. or if it involves a free union and lots of things to explore together. You know he's not the one for you if you think about your near future or even what you'll be doing next summer without imagining him standing by your side.
- Another sign that can indicate that he is not right for you is when he never brings up a plan for the future with you. It's a clue that he's not looking for a serious relationship with you if he gets angry or changes the subject every time you talk about the future.
- As complicated as it sounds, try to imagine your life ten years from now. Do you find it difficult, if not impossible, to see him by your side or away from you? It's not for you if you really can't see it.
Step 4. Look for another one if you don't feel comfortable with them
You should be able to be yourself if he's the right one for you, rather than having to dress up yourself to play the woman he wants. You should be able to stay true to yourself, speak up and express your opinions without fear of shocking or disappointing him. You can obviously be a little nervous, precisely because you like him, but you know that if you are constantly tense, anxious or distraught about how he may be feeling for you, he isn't right for you.
It's not for you if you're constantly worried about saying something that will upset him or knock him off the hook
Step 5. Don't be persistent if you can't be honest with him
You should be comfortable telling him the truth, if he's the right man, whether that's telling him where you've been or talking to him about your fears about your relationship. You shouldn't feel like you're making him angry, cranky, or stoking his jealousy every time you open your mouth. You should be able to tell him anything without feeling fear or anguish, if he really cares about you. It really isn't for you if telling him what's on your mind scares you or worries you.
- He's also not the right one if you feel like you have to lie to protect him or not to make him angry.
- It can be done for you if you can confide in him about your doubts and he listens to you and takes you seriously.
Step 6. Be responsible
Only you can ultimately tell whether or not he is the right man for you. You can bring your loved ones together and make thousands of compatibility lists together to find out whether or not he is the man in your life, but ultimately only you can tell. It may be helpful to check out sites like wikiHow for advice, but ultimately you will be the only person who knows if this guy isn't for you, no matter what others say.
- Remember, what is right for your best friend or favorite aunt might not be right for you. We can help you, but we cannot make decisions for you because you are a whole person with unique needs.
- However, another sign that it is not the right one is your presence on this page. You might have a problem, if you're already wondering whether or not he's the right man for you.
- It may sound out of date, but your intuition will certainly tell you whether or not he is the right man for you. It is an intimate feeling that you cannot always explain. It is likely that you already know that it is not the right one, because you have a hunch and wait for it to be confirmed.
Part 2 of 3: Observe Your Behaviors
Step 1. Admit the obvious
Know that he's not the one for you if he doesn't stop hitting on other girls. Everyone flirts a bit here and there, and it's not the end of the world if you do it harmlessly every now and then. But it's definitely not for you if your man is constantly flirting with other girls, talking about them, and disrespecting you by contacting other girls. You can't make excuses for him and can't convince yourself that he isn't seriously thinking about it. He would never have this type of behavior if he really cared about you.
- It goes without saying that he is not the right one if he is cheating on you. It's one thing if he cheated on you once, regrets it bitterly, and if you'll forgive him, but it's quite another if he commits adultery with a shovel. The sooner you get rid of it, the better off if it cheats on you frequently.
- Even if he isn't cheating on you and if it doesn't go beyond flirting, flirting in front of you or in front of your loved ones is a major sign of disrespect for you.
Step 2. Observe his behavior in public
Know that he is not the one for you if he does not want to be seen in your company. He should be proud to show off you, hold your hand, be with you in public, and see you, including when he's with friends or family, if he's the right one. He is not looking for a serious romantic relationship if he always finds excuses not to be in public with you or to avoid introducing you to his friends. It's not for you if he's anxious to see you in bed, but not to go to the movies with you.
- Don't find excuses for him. Also, don't think he's too busy when he doesn't want to date you. He would make that effort, if he really cared about you.
- He doesn't take you seriously if you've been dating for a long time and he's never suggested going out to meet his friends.
Step 3. Know that he is not the right one if he is not willing to change
This obviously doesn't mean you should change his personality, but he should be okay with doing it for you if you ask him to correct certain behaviors like flirting with other girls or not calling you back. He's not for you, if he's stubborn and adamantly refuses to change into a more loving and respectful boyfriend.
It is not easy for a man to change, but he should at least be open to a discussion about it. He's the wrong one if he gets angry when you suggest he change something about him
Step 4. Analyze his thoughts about your interests
Know that it is not for you if it does not respect your hobbies, your goals, and your dreams. It should respect your passion for hiking, your nursing profession, and the spare time you spend writing songs, if it's right for you. He doesn't need to participate in all of these hobbies, but he should be interested in it and be impressed with your hard work and your passion for it. He should like who you are and who you want to be, if he's right for you.
- He's not for you if he makes fun of your hobbies and makes you feel like they don't matter.
- He's not the right one if he demolishes your goals and makes you feel like you can't achieve them.
Step 5. Realize that he's not right for you if he is being dishonest with you
This is the most important sign that tells you he's not the right one. He is definitely not for you if he cannot go an hour without lying and if you spend your time catching him in the act of lying. This is a sign that he is hiding things from you and that he cannot be trusted if he lies all the time, about where he has been or the nature of his lunch. He's not for you if he's lying to you.
- It's also a bad sign if you have proof that he lied to you and that he denies it when you point it out to him.
- He should be honest with you if he respects you and not take you for a pitcher. Think about it. Would he need to be dishonest if he was right for you?
Step 6. Examine his sense of solidarity
Know that he is not for you if he is not there in the difficult times. He will be by your side when times are tough, just like when you have unforgettable moments, but you should have no excuses for him. It's not for you if he's always up for parties and road trips, but seems to disappear from your horizon as soon as your grandma gets sick. True love means being there for each other for better or for worse and it's not the right one if it lifts the sails as soon as you have a problem.
He obviously could be the perfect gentleman when you're dating or when he's talking to you on the phone. But he's not for you if he has nothing to say to you or if he leaves when you have a family crisis or lose your job. You can find a man who will also be there to support you in your trials
Step 7. Realize that he will never be the right one if he mistreats you
There are no ifs and buts, if a man mistreats you, you need to end the relationship right away. There's no excuse for that, like thinking that he'll never do it again or that he really loves you, but has a lot of problems, when it comes to physical or emotional abuse. He is absolutely not for you if he lays a hand on you and hurts you and you should leave him as soon as possible.
No one said it's easy to leave an abusive man, especially if you're afraid to leave him. However, you should talk about it with those close to you and get help to leave it as quickly and as safely as possible
Part 3 of 3: Examining Your Relationship
Step 1. Know that he's not for you if he's not your best friend too
You should see him as your best friend if he's the right one, as the one you can tell everything to and the one you're most comfortable confiding with. You should feel that way if he's the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. This can obviously take a while, especially if you already have a lot of close friends, but that's how you should feel about him.
He isn't for you if he is the ideal romantic partner for you, but one that you cannot confide in
Step 2. Know that he is not the right one if you are having trouble interacting with him
Anyone can have communication problems, but this guy isn't for you if you can't talk to him without it escalating into arguments or misunderstandings. He's not for you if he gets angry every time you want to have a serious discussion because he's unwilling to have an open and honest relationship with you.
- He's not the right one if you avoid tackling overly serious topics or those that bother you because you know he won't care.
- He is also not suitable for you if you feel like he's barely listening to you, or even if he's not looking at you when you try to say something important to him.
Step 3. Forget him if he doesn't get along with those around you
You might tell yourself it's not important when you first start dating, but it's essential that your man gets along with your friends and family once you've been together for a while. These are the people who are closest to you and who share some of your values and he's not the right one if he doesn't get along with any of them and try to do so.
He obviously cannot get along perfectly with all of your loved ones and there may be people with whom the current is not flowing. You could also have a difficult family to satisfy, and that's okay. The most important thing is that he makes an effort, he's not the right one if he doesn't get along with the people you care about and the situation is fine for him
Step 4. Stop pushing if you don't thrive together
The best part about a meaningful romantic relationship with your soul mate is that you both complement each other in some way and thrive when you're together. Your man should make you feel like a better person and he should encourage you to grow and reach your potential. He's not for you if you feel like he's putting you down and giving you a very negative image of yourself.
- See if you've changed since meeting him. Are you more motivated, more ambitious, or just happier, or do you feel more depressed and less able to achieve yourself? He's not the right one if he's holding you back.
- It is obviously important that you also encourage him to improve.
Step 5. Know that it is not for you if it does not share your values
You should make sure you have the same vision in many areas if you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. This doesn't mean you should embrace his religion or his political views, just remember that opposites attract, but he's not the right one if you feel like he has a worldview. so radically different from yours that you can't agree on a single thing.
- He can be the man for you if you're overly optimistic and always complaining, depressing you and never happy with anything, but you should ask yourself if you will be able to endure this all your life.
- You should ask yourself if caring is something really important to you if you believe in volunteering and charities where he finds it a waste of time.
- While membership in a political party may not be a serious reason to break up, you should ask yourself if you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who is the opposite of your political beliefs, if you are a socialist and that it is very important to you.
Step 6. Know that he's the wrong one if he doesn't love you for who you are
This is a categorical imperative. He should love and appreciate who you are if he's right for you. He shouldn't want you to be slimmer, dressed sexier, talk less, or give up your hobbies.You can obviously motivate each other to correct each other's flaws, but he should first appreciate the essence of who you are and encourage you to be the person you really want to be and not seek to change yourself.
- He's really not for you if he can't understand you, criticizes your opinions, or wants things that are different from yours.
- He's the wrong one if you find yourself trying to change just to make him happy.
- He's not for you if he doesn't give you the minimum respect you deserve.