Friendships are an important part of life, but at times you might find yourself without close friends. If this is the case with your current situation, you can learn to deal with it by being compassionate towards yourself and making yourself more comfortable with your loneliness. It can be a difficult time, but by developing a positive perspective and securing the support of those close to you, you can get by. Plus, you don't have to be afraid to go out and expose yourself to meet new people. Remember that anyone can be your friend!
Method 1 of 4: Manage loneliness
Step 1. Show compassion for yourself
You must always love yourself. It means that you should treat yourself with love, respect, and kindness. Are you having a bad time? It might help to realize that you are not alone. Loneliness is something everyone has to face at some point in their life. Just because you feel lonely doesn't mean you have a problem or you're weird. In fact, that's what makes you human!
- Remember that the feeling of loneliness is just that, a feeling. It is not a part of your identity.
- Ask yourself how you would treat someone dear to you if they suffered from their loneliness. Then treat yourself the same. Start by talking to each other kindly, as you would talk to someone close to you.
- Show yourself kindness too, such as patting your back or hugging each other. It might sound a little weird to you, but it should actually make you feel better.
Step 2. Manage your feeling of loneliness
Loneliness is a horrible feeling. However, it is important to understand it and take care of it instead of trying to make it go away. Take some time to deal with this feeling. Notice the lump in your throat, the knot in your chest, and the feeling of emptiness inside. Then make an effort to move past that feeling.
- If you feel the need to cry to deal with this feeling, then cry. There is no shame in letting your emotions out, in fact you will probably feel better after you cry.
- Managing your motions does not mean brooding over them. Rather, you need to take the time to understand them to help you overcome them.
Step 3. Focus on your long term goals
If you are feeling lonely, you can focus your energy on achieving your long-term goals to help yourself. Are you dreaming of entering a certain university? Concentrate on your notes and get involved in school activities. If you've always dreamed of traveling to Asia, put a plan in place to save money.
- Write down your goals and plans to achieve them. You will then have a better chance of getting there.
- If your goals scare you because they're too big, try breaking them down into smaller daily tasks. If you want to write a novel, make a goal of writing several pages every day.
Step 4. Spend time doing things you love
It is entirely possible to have fun on your own, just take the time every day to have activities that you enjoy. You may like to write, hike, or paint. By doing something you love, you can boost your mood and help yourself get to know yourself a little better.
Try to go to a concert with your favorite band on your own. It might sound weird to you, but once you get there, you won't feel alone. After all, everyone around you has at least one thing in common with you, a passion for the artist or the band on stage
Step 5. Make a video on YouTube
If you are feeling lonely, creating a YouTube video is the perfect way to connect with the rest of the world and share your thoughts and feelings with different people. Whether you want to make a funny comment, sing a song, or show off your juggling or makeup skills, you can connect with people around the world through a video on YouTube.
The YouTube community is full of potential friends! People might like your video and leave you a nice comment, which could then start a friendship. You could also make new friends by watching other people's videos and leaving a comment
Step 6. Start a blog
Your own blog is a great way to share your passion for a certain topic with the rest of the world, learn more about the topic, or be part of a productive community that shares similar interests. Find something you are passionate about, for example soccer, yoga or fashion and start writing!
- Many bloggers make friends when people read their posts and send them messages.
- There is no need to talk about your blog with others or even publish your posts if you don't want to.
Step 7. Take online courses
Distract yourself by channeling your energy into learning a new subject! Take a look at the free courses you can find online at different sites. You may already have a degree, but there are plenty of interesting courses on the internet, from microeconomics to Portuguese History, that will help you explore a particular area of interest to you.
Online courses can also give your life more structure and meaning. You might feel like your days are empty without friends and this is an interesting and productive way to fill that void
Method 2 of 4: Stay positive
Step 1. Take care of yourself
By making a habit of taking care of yourself, you can improve your mood and relax. Set aside at least one day a week to do something that helps you feel more relaxed.
- It can be any activity that helps you feel like you are taking care of your mind and body, such as cooking healthy meals, exercising, getting enough sleep, or spending time in the bathroom. nature.
- You might find relaxing activities to do, such as treating yourself to a massage, facial treatment, manicure, or a new hairstyle.
Step 2. Practice autosuggestion
It's easy to put yourself down when you don't have friends. You might think that you have no value or that no one likes you. Besides being completely wrong, it is also counterproductive. Autosuggestion means that you talk to each other in a nice way to counter negative thoughts.
- If you find yourself thinking that no one likes you, you might remember family members who think you are the best! You might be like, “Wait, that's not true. There are lots of family members who love me. "
- List the qualities that make you a great friend, such as being always there when others need you. Reread this list regularly when you have the blues.
Step 3. Develop an optimistic point of view
It might be difficult at first, but there are always positive things around you. It's easy to see everything that's wrong and be negative all the time. Be grateful for something that is there now, for example the shining sun or your good health.
- Start a gratitude journal in which you will write down everything that went well during the day. After holding it for a while, you'll notice that things aren't going as bad as you thought.
- Instead of focusing on your loneliness, focus on the good of others! Try to smile at people you pass on the street. Maybe they'll even smile at you.
Step 4. Keep a journal
A journal is a great way to keep in touch with your thoughts and see how they are affecting your feelings and behavior. By keeping a journal every day, you will take the time to slow down to reflect on your life and your values. A journal is a great tool for writing down your future goals and finding a way to achieve them.
Try to proofread your journal every six months to get a better idea of how you've changed and grown
Step 5. Exercise regularly
Physical activity can help boost your mood and make you feel better about yourself. Your good health will help you improve your mood and your outlook while taking care of your physique. Get outside, go for a walk or just enjoy the sun and the fresh air for several minutes a day.
You could also take classes in a gym. Exercising will also help you make new friends
Step 6. Be nice
Kindness can do wonders. You might feel rejected and angry with the world, but this kind of attitude will alienate others even further. Try to be understanding, kind, and forgive the people you meet in your daily life. If you offer kindness and positivity, you are more likely to attract other nice people into your life.
Smile at strangers, hold the door for the old lady behind, or help a child find their lost balloon
Method 3 of 4: Get help
Step 1. Consult an advisor
Sometimes you might need a little help opening up new friendships. Excessive negative thinking can be a sign of a problem that requires specialist intervention. Additionally, if you are having trouble socializing with others, it could be a sign of social anxiety, shyness, or some other issue. A counselor can then help you work on it to make you feel more confident about making new friends.
Step 2. Spend time with your family
You might have friends who already live under the same roof as you, your own family! They can be great friends, even if you don't see them that way. Spend time with or ask your parents or siblings for updates as often as possible. You might think that they can't help you when you have the blues, but quite the opposite.
Start a fun new tradition, like a board game night or a Friday night pizzeria outing
Step 3. Adopt a pet
While pets cannot replace humans, they can be loyal and amazing companions that will help relieve stress and make your days more fulfilling. You can go to a shelter to adopt a dog or a cat. Plus, pets can also help you make friends! They give you an excuse to get out of your home and chat with other pet owners you meet on the street or in a park.
Method 4 of 4: Find friends
Step 1. Start the conversation
There are probably tons of potential friends out there, but you don't know how to approach them and keep in touch. After all, it can be terrifying to strike up a conversation sometimes. However, you don't have to doubt yourself, you can do it! Take a deep breath and ask a stranger a question about them or make a comment about something around you. Know that others love to talk about themselves and what interests them, so you can look for clues that will help you talk to them.
- For example, let's say you're in line at the supermarket and see a teenager in front of you playing on their phone. You might say, “You seem to be doing well. What is the objective of the game ? "
- Try to ask open ended questions that force the other person to give a detailed answer and not just a yes or no.
- Here's a great example of an open-ended question: “You said you love to ski, but what is the thing that interests you most about the sport? "
Step 2. Join social situations
If you feel lonely or insecure about your ability to make friends, you might be tempted to turn down invitations to parties or other activities. However, these events can be great opportunities to make new friends. Even if you're feeling nervous, you might want to cheer yourself up and go to the office party or your cousin's baby shower. It's a risk that could help you make new friends!
Just by seeing people around you can help yourself love them even more. Pick a public place, like a cafe, and spend time there. Who knows ? You could become friends with employees or other repeat customers
Step 3. Stay positive during your interactions
People tend to seek the company of people who send out positive vibes. Make sure you always speak kindly to others. Spreading rumors won't make good friends, although it can be distracting. Don't forget to smile either! You will immediately appear friendlier and more sympathetic.
- People love people who make them feel good, so you need to encourage them and give them sincere compliments.
- For example, you could say, “You volunteer at a homeless shelter, that's amazing! I'm really impressed ! Can you tell me more ? "
Step 4. Participate in your favorite activities with others
You will improve your mood and your outlook on the world by spending time with others. If there is a sport or hobby that you enjoy, go to events, matches or competitions. During these events, you will be surrounded by people who share the same center of interest. It will then be easy to start a conversation, just discuss the event in question!
- Don't be afraid to join a club or do something you've never done before, like an improv club or a night out at the bowling alley. You might meet new people who are also participating for the first time and then you can bond with the challenges you face and the funny mistakes you make.
- If you are unsure of yourself, you can take it easy. However, don't let the fear of rejection keep you from bonding with amazing people who share the same interests as you.
Step 5. Find Friends on the Internet
While you may need to take some time to find friends near you, you can find lots of people online who share your thoughts, ideas and passions. Internet friendships are not as intimate as those in real life and do not completely solve loneliness issues. However, it's still a great way to bond and pass the time.
However, be careful that your online friendships don't prevent you from making real friends, and be careful when going to meet people in person you have chatted with on the Internet
Step 6. Volunteer
Activities that help people in your neighborhood, such as community service projects, are also a great way to meet people and help others. By helping people less fortunate than you, you are giving yourself the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and take a step back in your life. You might also feel more grateful for what you have.