It takes time to develop a deep friendship with a person. It's a whole process you have to go through, starting with introducing yourself, then getting to know the other person, and eventually becoming their close friend over time. There are some people who find it easy to make friends, while for others it is much more complicated. There are, however, several proven tips that can help you build lasting friendships.
Part 1 of 3: Getting to Know a Person
Step 1. Introduce yourself to the one you want to be friends with
All friendships start well at some point, and that's usually about the presentation. Find an opportunity to say hello to the other and give them your name, all without pushing too hard.
- For example, you have the option of doing this at school. It can help even more if you have mutual friends with the person in question and get together in a group.
- If it's at a party that you find yourself in his presence, you can introduce yourself to him, so you have someone to chat with.
- You can also introduce yourself if you have received a homework assignment or need to work together on a project.
Step 2. Ask questions about the person
When you have the chance, take the time to ask the other person questions about them. This way, you show him that you want to get to know him.
- " Do you have any siblings ? If yes how much ? "
- "What do you like to do with your free time? "
- " Which sport do you practice ? "
- "Do you like to cook? "
- " What are your hobbies ? "
- "Have you always lived in this region? "
- "Who is your favorite artist, band or musical style?" "
- "Do you like reading? So what's your favorite book? "
Step 3. Also answer any questions the other person has about you
Chances are, as you ask this person questions, they will answer and then ask you about you as well. Be sure to take the time to respond and clearly give her the opportunity to learn about who you are as well.
- Friendship is a two-way street. This is why it is important that both parties involved feel that they know each other well. Only then can you have a beautiful friendship.
- Make the discussion time fair. When answering the questions the other person asked you, be sure to do about the same time as they did when answering yours so that you don't talk more than they did.
Step 4. Avoid overly complicated topics
While you are still in the very early stages and still getting to know yourself, it is best to avoid personal or controversial topics.
- Keep the discussion fun and light. You can talk about things you want to know about each other or that you have in common.
- If the discussion goes too far on a personal level, you can reframe it by saying "I'm not ready to talk about this topic just yet. Instead, tell me if you've ever attended a concert”.
- End the discussion or reframe it if you start to bring up controversial topics. You can say, "I think we each have our own opinions on this, so let's talk about more fun things instead."
Step 5. Take the time to get to know this person
You should avoid bombarding him with several questions at the same time. You have to get to know her, of course, but you have no interest in letting the other feel like they're being interviewed.
- As you meet your new acquaintance, whether at the mall or at school, you may take the opportunity to learn more about them each time.
- It may take you from a few weeks to a number of months to get to know this person. It doesn't have to happen instantly or after a few hours.
Step 6. When you feel ready, exchange your contacts
When you feel that you know this person well enough that you can consider a friendship with them, ask them if you can exchange your contact details. You have the option to share these means of contact depending on how you want to contact each other:
- telephone numbers, for messages or calls,
- instant messaging identifiers without disclosing your phone number,
- email addresses,
- usernames on social networking sites like Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.
Part 2 of 3: laying the foundation for a friendship
Step 1. Learn to be a good friend
If you want to become someone's best friend and therefore expect the other to be the same for you, you have to start by being a good friend yourself.
Examine your personality and determine your weaknesses and strengths in friendship. Set a goal that will improve one of your weak spots and help you become a better friend. For example, if you sometimes forget to reply to your friends' messages, you might set a goal of always replying to them after a few hours
Step 2. Be yourself in the presence of your friend
You might not like it if you find out that your friend has a completely different personality than you initially thought. This is why you have to be yourself when you are with him.
- Show him your eccentricities. Who knows, maybe he does the same too!
- Show your sense of humor and tell the jokes you find funny.
- Share your interests and hobbies, although some people think they are weird. They may, however, be of interest to your friend.
Step 3. Accept your friend as he is
It is crucial that you do not try to turn your friend into something he is not. He's one of a kind, and just as you want to be accepted for who you are, your friend would like to be treated the same.
Step 4. Invite your friend to spend time with you
There are many things you can do with your friend. Invite him to hang out with you so that you can strengthen your friendship.
- Go see a movie.
- Go to an arcade room.
- Go shopping together.
- Invite your friend over for dinner.
- Invite your friend to play at your place.
- Invite your friend to play video or board games.
- Take part in a neighborhood competition together, such as a game of basketball or football.
Step 5. Remember and celebrate milestones for your friend
On your friend's birthday, don't forget to give them a present, even a small one. He will also want you to congratulate him when he performs well in a certain area, when he is accepted into a program or group he wanted, or when he wins something.
- Be sure to show genuine joy about what your friend is experiencing. Chances are, he'll notice if you're not genuinely happy for him, and it will hurt your friendship.
- If you were also trying to get something at the same time, but were unsuccessful (for example, if you tried to get into a certain program without success), do not be jealous of your friend. This is unhealthy behavior that will not allow your friendship to develop.
Step 6. Let your friend know that you are ready to support them
Friends can rely on each other in difficult times, which is why you need to make sure your friend knows that you will be there for them when they need it.
- Try to be there when these difficult times arise. If, for example, your friend has an argument with another fellow student or a brother, be sure to help him through it.
- Be someone your friend can count on. One of the biggest aspects of a successful friendship is reliability. For this reason, if you tell your friend that he can count on your constant presence, you had better prove it.
Step 7. Be honest and up front with your friend
No viable relationship can be built on lies and secrets, which is why it is very important that you are honest and up front.
- When your friend tries to get your opinion, give it in an honest and polite way.
- Share your point of view in a friendly and polite manner.
- If possible, avoid hiding things from your friend, especially if the secrets in question have something to do with them.
Part 3 of 3: Building a Good Friendship
Step 1. Show your friend that you value your friendship
There are a number of different ways you can do this, and generally speaking, what you do will prove to the other person that you consider them a good friend. Here are some things you should always strive to do:
- be trustworthy and reliable
- be honest
- stay yourself
- support your friend
- associate your friend with what you do
- celebrate your friend's successes
- give your friend help whenever they need it
Step 2. Apologize if necessary
Give a valid excuse whenever you are unable to spend time with your friend. If he asks you to hang out with him, but you already have other obligations or something planned, let him know. Then suggest that you catch up on another day.
Suggesting that you catch up another time will show your friend that you do want to hang out with them and that you enjoy their company
Step 3. Work to resolve any issues that may arise
No matter how many things you have in common with your friend, you will end up having disagreements and arguments at some point. Go through these difficulties with your friend.
- Apologize when necessary. If it is you who are at fault, then it is crucial that you take responsibility for your actions.
- Come up with ideas that you and your friend can follow to solve the problem, rather than waiting for them to do it.
Step 4. Put yourself in your friend's shoes
Although you and your friend are very similar, you are still very much an individual. So sometimes you will have to try to adopt his point of view in order to understand a problem.
- Try to understand why this particular problem bothers or bothers him. Find what is so irritating about it.
- Don't minimize that if it turns out that it's not the kind of thing that particularly bothers you. Instead, try to talk to your friend about it and find strategies to deal with the situation.
Step 5. Stick to the limits set by your friend
Sometimes he might not want your help or involvement in all aspects of his life. It is crucial that you respect this and give it the space it needs.
- Even if one of you walks away, you can still have a good friendship. Contact each other whenever possible and show your friend that you respect their needs.
- Let your friend know that you are always there for them, even if they need the space.
- You need to understand that you and your friend don't need to see each other every day. Each of you has your own life, obligations, and schedule.
Step 6. Trust your friend
To have a good friendship, you have to trust each other. You can't expect your friend to trust you if you don't believe it yourself.
- Always be upfront and honest with your friend, so that they have no reason not to trust you.
- Work on resolving any issues you will have with your friend so that you can continue to trust them.
- Share your dreams and how you feel with your friend. This will let him know that you trust him, because you have chosen to confide in him.
- Forgive the mistakes your friend will make. Holding a grudge is an emotionally unhealthy attitude and will not allow your friendship to develop well.