How to regain someone's trust: 13 steps (with pictures)

How to regain someone's trust: 13 steps (with pictures)
How to regain someone's trust: 13 steps (with pictures)

The best relationships have always struggled. If you've betrayed your partner's trust, it's possible that you will save your relationship by regaining their trust. Show your partner that you have made up your mind to make things right. You have the opportunity to rebuild that trust with care and time.


Part 1 of 3: admit your betrayal

Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 1

Step 1. Take responsibility for your behavior

Also admit what you have done. Lying will only undermine your relationship and stress you more. If you are a dishonest person, you will continue to worry about getting caught. Use sincerity and honesty to avoid potential betrayal and delay regaining someone's trust.

Being open will also help you express your behavior in the best possible way. Your partner may suspect the worst, but others may exaggerate when they want to say what happened. For that, you have to control the story

Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 2

Step 2. Put yourself in your partner's shoes and don't worry

It is likely that your partner will be upset and bring out negative comments. Although you are aware that you have done wrong, it can cause you to be worried and deflect the accusation. You need to remember that your partner is in a lot of pain and that she needs to express her feelings. When you see that you have to be defensive, think about how you would feel if it was your partner who had betrayed your trust. This will allow you to take his words as an expression of his pain rather than an attack.

There is nothing you could do to justify your abuse. If your partner becomes verbally or physically aggressive or threatens you in some way, you need to get over the situation and seek someone's help

Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 3

Step 3. Listen seriously to your partner

Show your partner that you care about her feelings and intentions by rephrasing and thinking about what she has said to you. Pick up on her remarks practically the way she said them. Then think about it by expressing how she feels.

  • For example, your partner said you told me you would be there, but you weren't. You knew how important this was to me.
  • Take back his point by paraphrasing this way I was not there, although I had promised to be there.
  • Bring out the emotion your partner was feeling when they said I disappointed you.
Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 4

Step 4. Accept his feelings

It is crucial that your partner feels that you understand him or that you listen to him. Your betrayal is indifference to his well-being. Show your partner that you care by describing how your behavior has affected her. For example, say my behavior is cruel and has betrayed your trust.

Try not to use the phrase I know when talking about the feelings of others. While saying this you do not mean to offend, some people may interpret it as a haughty expression

Part 2 of 3: Apologize to your partner

Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 5

Step 1. Explain your reasons for doing this

What made you betray your partner? You are responsible for your actions, but understanding the emotions behind your actions can lead your partner to show empathy, which will help you avoid such situations in the near future. Say what you are feeling and then describe your behavior. For example, you can say I felt insecure in our relationship and had to turn to other people.

Use sentences that start with I to avoid giving your partner the impression that you are blaming her

Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 6

Step 2. Think about behaving differently later

It is important that you help your partner see how you will avoid offending him in the future. Identify what prompted you to have this behavior and ways you could prevent it from happening again. For example, if your behavior is influenced by a particular person, make a commitment that you are no longer alone with that person. This could be going to parties (where this individual is likely to be) with another friend or partner, or leaving when you are alone with that person.

Talking with your partner and looking for solutions to your problems should always be part of the plan

Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 7

Step 3. Be sincere

Express genuine remorse and regret for betraying your partner. She's likely to trust you if she thinks you will take steps to avoid potentially unpleasant emotions as a result of your behavior.

Avoid making promises that you cannot or do not intend to keep. If you fail to keep those promises, it will make your first apology hypocritical

Part 3 of 3: Proving Yourself

Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 8

Step 1. Communicate clearly with your partner

It is likely that a lack of communication resulted in the betrayal. One of you (or both of you) may not be honest or open with the other. To make sure this problem is resolved, identify what is blocking you from communicating well and ways to avoid it. By doing this, your partner will see that you are committed to avoiding potential betrayal.

  • If you and your partner find it difficult to talk about your feelings, agree to send each other letters regarding the related topics of feelings.
  • If you and your partner don't talk to each other enough, consider setting up weekly dates to discuss your relationship.
  • If you can't figure out why the current isn't flowing between you, consider enlisting the help of a relationship counselor. The latter can help you find and resolve communication problems.
Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 9

Step 2. Ask your partner what she needs

You may be at a loss for methods of how to regain her confidence. If so, ask her what you can do to make her start to trust you again. It could involve chatting frequently, spending more time with her, seeing a marriage counselor, being patient, or something else. Ask your partner to direct your behavior in a way that builds trust.

Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 10

Step 3. Call or send messages regularly

Calling most of the day shows that you are thinking about your partner. It will allay her fear by showing her that you are acting without regard for her. If your partner has a special connection with you, she is more likely to trust you.

A great way to stay in touch without you being in need is to send him funny pictures or short descriptions of funny discussions you have had with other people

Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 11

Step 4. Organize activities

The goal is to spend time together, without thinking about betrayal. When you've apologized and considered behaving differently, make an effort to stop brooding over hurtful situations. Re-focus on the present moment by doing fun activities together. If you spend more time with your partner, she'll worry less about what you do when you're not with her.

Find a hobby that you enjoy doing together. It will increase the time you spend together and can strengthen your relationship

Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 12

Step 5. Thank your partner

Show him how much you value him and how much you care about your relationship. When your partner feels loved, she will feel safe in the relationship.

  • Make an effort to leave appreciation notes where you are sure she will see them.
  • If you show your gratitude with gifts, be careful not to give your partner the impression that you are trying to buy her forgiveness for the situation.
  • Tidy up the house a bit to show your partner that you appreciate and notice how much she does.
Earn His or Her Trust Back Step 13

Step 6. Accept that it will take time

Be patient with your partner as she tries to trust you again. This is not your responsibility, and trying to speed up the process may cause your partner to think that you are not respecting their emotions.

  • Rather than focusing on a situation over which you have no control, you are better off turning to things that you have the ability to control such as being trustworthy and true to yourself.
  • Show your partner that you have made long-term changes. Don't just take short-term actions and then pick up old habits.

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