Asking for a phone number happens quite early in a meeting, but it can still be quite intimidating! When you ask for someone's phone number, you may face a potential rejection, which can be awful even if you barely know the person whose number you want to know. Don't despair if you're struggling to harness your courage to call for a phone number. Even the brightest, most confident person has struggled with this sort of thing. It is not very difficult to dramatically increase your confidence in this type of situation by learning a few simple tips for requesting a phone number.
Part 1 of 3: Prepare
Step 1. Relax
If there's one thing you can do to make it easier on yourself when asking for a phone number, this is it! While it is always difficult to relax when you are in an already trying situation and for some it is next to impossible! It is much easier to get out of this tricky question with a calm and relaxed demeanor and, in the process, to make yourself seem supremely detached when you find yourself in a social situation where you need to ask for a phone number. Everyone relaxes differently, but you could try the following relaxation methods:
- physical activity;
- deep breathing;
- make you laugh;
- think of the people around you as being perfectly laughable, for example imagine that they are in their underwear.
Step 2. Make the effort to get out of your reserve
Finding the courage to talk to people who spontaneously attract you is often more difficult than asking them for a phone number. To have the best chance of getting a number, you should be willing to go for it headlong and talk to the people you like without giving yourself the opportunity to over-analyze the situation and find a reason not to. Don't give yourself any opportunity to back down! It's much harder to get a number if you don't try to approach yourself and talk to the people you like first.
Force yourself to act, if you are having trouble finding the courage to approach an attractive person. Try to give yourself a time limit, about ten seconds, for example, if you are daring, to wait and freak yourself out before you approach and talk to that person within that time frame! Encourage your friends to push you to have social contacts, if you are together, rather than sticking with them
Step 3. Use clear body language
Everyone will believe you are sure of yourself if you show it off. There will be no way of knowing that you are actually sweating profusely inside, unless you admit it. Take advantage of this and use dignified, confident body language to boost your flirtation straight away. The best part about this tactic is that it causes a virtuous cycle: when others react favorably to your assertive behavior, you will feel more sure of yourself, which will allow you to act with confidence. more sincere assurance. Here are some universal tips to look more confident straight away, regardless of your gender or physique.
- Don't be afraid to take up space. Keep your head up and straight. Throw your shoulders back and protrude your chest. Have a relaxed posture when you sit down.
- Use broad, calm gestures. Walk with long, supple strides, without rushing. Use broad, gentle, and simple gestures.
- Show your attention. Face the people you are talking to. Look at them, but don't stare at them.
- Don't isolate yourself from others. Do not cross your arms or legs when you sit down. Don't play with your phone when you are bored. These behaviors signal to others that you don't want to interact with them.
Step 4. Find an excuse to talk if you lack confidence
Be realistic: Not everyone is comfortable approaching strangers, talking to them, and asking them for a phone number. It's good to find a reason to talk to someone and start a discussion if you're the shy type. Icebreaking discussion threads are pretty old tricks when it comes to flirting and getting in touch with other people, but they're pretty effective. Do not worry. You don't have to be afraid of looking out of date if you end up asking for the number of the person you're interested in. Here are some ways to start a discussion.
- Ask for advice: Say you like the author the person is reading, and ask if they can recommend that you read a certain work by that writer.
- Compliment or comment on something or something you have in common, like saying the person is wearing a great shirt that reminds you of a brand that you love to wear yourself.
- Ask for help: Can the person show you this awesome dance step?
- The great classic that only works with smokers: “Do you have a fire? "
Step 5. Open casually
No one wants to be noticed, so you should keep some discretion when asking for a phone number. Resist the urge to come up with an overly conventional expression. This type of approach can make you feel like a predator or an insincere person, although it takes a good deal of confidence to get it across immediately. Most people prefer a more laid back approach. Find a basic topic of conversation to start with if you need to, then relax and carry on as naturally as possible, chatting gently until the right time is right.
One of the advantages of a relaxed approach is that it saves you the embarrassment of a clear cut refusal. You can always end the discussion by saying that you need to do something else or go somewhere else, if you are quietly chatting with someone and feel like the situation is getting sticky. On the other hand, the embarrassment will be much greater, as it will be obvious that you have failed in your attempt if you announce the flush early in the conversation
Part 2 of 3: get a number
Step 1. Make contact
If you are going to get someone's phone number, find an opportunity to separate yourself from other people around the one you are interested in to make personal contact as soon as you start a discussion. You can do this by finding something that both of you enjoy, having a sympathetic and spiritual discussion about something neither of you like, or even chatting about each other's lives. Getting in touch with someone should be obvious and immediate. The discussion should be lively and become warmer and more intimate.
Let's say for example that you are invited to a party where you don't know a lot of people and you find the courage to approach an attractive stranger by complimenting them on the beauty of their shirt and how much you like this brand. Hopefully, you will find the opportunity to share your thoughts on the evolution of fashion and will have more easily created a suitable contact to request a phone number
Step 2. Make the person you like laugh
One of the best ways to leave a lasting good impression on someone is to just be funny enough. Everyone loves to laugh! Humor loosens the mood and you are more likely to be given the number you want and want to spend more time with you if you are believed to have a great sense of humor. Moreover, it is not insignificant to add that scientific research has found that humor and humor are the most attractive characteristics in a person in a social context.
Don't become self-deprecating when you absolutely want to flaunt your sense of humor, if you have it. Don't let others laugh at you. While a bit of self-deprecation is fun when you've gotten to know someone a little bit, doing it on a very first date can make you feel like you're lacking calm and confidence, and not the other way around
Step 3. Ask for a phone number at an important point in the discussion
The best time to ask someone for their number is usually after you've laughed together, found something important in common, or if you've had a great time. In other words, make your request at a culmination of your discussion. People are generally more willing to agree with you if they like you. You therefore increase your chances of success and will also be turned away more nicely when someone does not want to give you a number if you make your request immediately after having made an important point in the discussion.
Let us return to the situation mentioned above. If you've had a pleasant chat about your mutual passion for quality shirts, you might end your interview with a funny story or anecdote about a wacky store purchase. When you have shared a good laugh, say you have to leave urgently and suggest in passing that you could swap your phone numbers to have another discussion later. Hopefully, your excellent sense of timeliness will increase your odds of success
Step 4. Leave this person unsatisfied
You usually ask for a phone number at the end of a conversation, not in the middle of it. Don't let the discussion drag once you get this number, and don't be awkward. Instead, you should quickly end the conversation and leave the person to move on. This will make your life seem very active and busy (which is often seen as attractive enough) to make the person you spoke to want to see you again and ask you more questions.
In our example mentioned above, you should end the conversation by asking for the phone number of the person you spoke to, not asking for that number first and then resuming the discussion thread. The reason why this type of behavior should be avoided is obvious, if one imagines what it might look like: “Thanks for the number. By the way, what was the most interesting movie you've seen lately? Returning to friendly chatter after having come close to an eminently sentimental moment can seem awkward even if done well and can lead to serious misunderstandings
Step 5. Try the number when you get it
It can be embarrassing not to receive the phone number you requested. Some people avoid this type of embarrassment by giving out the wrong number. If you just got a phone number, you can save yourself a little disappointment later if it turns out to be a fake by taking the time to verify its validity either verbally or by texting. You can send a message using your name or call that person a few minutes later after your chat ends. You will know this number is genuine if you get a response. On the other hand, you will know that it is a fake number if you come across someone who is clearly not the one you spoke with or if you receive an error message.
Don't get angry or make a scene if it turns out you've been given the wrong number. Have fun about this deception and immediately forget about it. No one is required to give you a phone number. So you shouldn't feel betrayed if someone refused to give it to you
Step 6. Wait a few days before calling
This is an old dating tip, but it's still great advice today. When you get someone's phone number, don't call that person back the next morning, or even the next evening. Instead, wait a few days before reconnecting. While you might be excited that you got the number of a very attractive person and would like to call them quickly, you can seem like you take this relationship more seriously than it seems. you call too quickly, which can be frowned upon, especially from someone who doesn't fancy a long-term relationship. Note that some dating specialists recommend waiting up to a week before calling back, while others advise a wait period of just three days.
You should stay fairly relaxed at this point in the meeting. Calling immediately after you get a number can make it seem like you take the relationship far too seriously. As bizarre as it sounds, it can also compromise more serious encounters in the long run
Part 3 of 3: Knowing what not to do
Step 1. Don't start a discussion by asking for a phone number right off the bat
While it's a good idea to strike up a conversation with people who appeal to you, you shouldn't be too rushing either. When you want to have someone's number, don't start there right away. This can be a proof of extreme self-confidence, for some people with little knowledge. However, to most people it can just seem weird. You will probably have better luck with a more conventional approach, unless you are an expert in seduction or trying to challenge yourself.
Step 2. Don't focus too much on the outcome of your discussion
A refusal is always possible, no matter how confident and eloquent you are. Some people are just not free, even if everyone you approach finds you irresistible. It is better not to have excessive expectations, because you will not necessarily have all the numbers you want. Try not to worry too much and absolutely want the phone number of the person you like and are talking to. Instead, try to have a good time, listen to your partner and make contact with that new person. This way, you will not be disappointed, even if your request is refused, if you choose to ask for a phone number at the end of the discussion. You still did most of what you intended to do.
Step 3. Don't end an awkward discussion by asking for a phone number
You should do this at the end of a successful discussion. If your chat goes wrong for all kinds of reasons, for example you offended the person without doing it on purpose, don't try to save the day by asking for a phone number. Rather, you should apologize and end the discussion or, if you really want this number, keep talking and try to fix the mistake you made before making this request. There is nothing worse than asking for a number from someone who is visibly uncomfortable. You should therefore spare yourself and your partner from this unfortunate result.
Step 4. Do not insist if you are not given a number
As said above, a person can have lots of reasons (good or bad) for not agreeing to your request. Don't pick on the person who refused you if you feel like you won't be successful. This person has no obligation to give you their number and they don't do anything wrong by denying it to you when you ask them, even if your discussion has been cheerful and lively.It is always a bad idea to get angry or pressured with someone who refused to give out their phone number. It makes you despicable, superficial, or overly assertive at the best of times. You should therefore avoid doing this. Below you'll find some very legitimate reasons why someone doesn't want to give you a number, but there can obviously be many more:
- the person is not free;
- the person has just ended a serious relationship;
- the person does not easily give their phone number to strangers;
- the person is not looking for a romantic relationship;
- the person does not feel attracted to you.
- Do it, because you will never succeed if you do not try anything.
- A compliment is always a good way to start a conversation. Nonetheless, you should be honest. Don't say you like these green shoes if you think they are awful.
- Don't walk away as soon as the person gives you their phone number. Stick with her a little while, then tell her that you still have a train to catch (or something else to do) and that you will call her back.
- You can give your own number instead of asking for the person's number. Women prefer not to give their number for more security. You can also ask it jokingly and offer your own as well.
- You can also ask for their email address first. Since it is less dangerous, most people will be fine with exchanging an email address. When the person is writing down their email address, you can tell right away that they can add their phone number as well. Most people who didn't give you their number right away will do so after leaving other contact details.
- If you don't have the phone numbers of all of your friends, you can go from one to the other to ask them and take the opportunity to ask for the one of the person you are interested in as well.
- Always ask for a phone number yourself. You come across as rude or immature if you get someone's number through another person.
- Also, don't ask for a number for someone else. That's perfectly rude, and you'll ruin that friend's chances of knowing if the person they're interested in really appreciates them.
- Nowhere is it marked that the person you are talking to must give you their phone number. Don't ask more than once, and leave the person alone if they tell you no.