Charisma can help you enormously to make you more pleasant, increase your magnetism and give you more authenticity. It is possible to have more charisma if you lack it by learning to develop this skill. We often believe that you need to be more outgoing to have charisma, but this is simply not true. All you need is a set of skills that you hone until they become a habit. Charisma will improve your relationships with others, your leadership skills, and your overall self-confidence.
Method 1 of 4: Increase self-confidence
Step 1. Be physically active
It will get you in shape and consequently improve your pace and your mentality. Physical activity also releases endorphins, the feel-good hormones, which will give you more energy and better morale.
The short- and long-term benefits of physical activity are most effective when it is done three to four times a week
Step 2. Be more optimistic
Think about the good sides of your life like your loved ones, your job or others. Tell yourself, for example, that you were very efficient today or that you have good friends. Try to trade your pessimistic thoughts for more optimistic ones. If, for example, you think that such a task is too difficult to complete, tell yourself instead that you are going to approach it from a different angle.
Practice thinking optimistic thoughts every day to increase their effectiveness
Step 3. Stop comparing yourself to others
It’s just a waste of time. You cannot compete with anyone because your life experiences are unique to you and because you have unique skills. Your self-esteem can suffer when you constantly feel inferior to others. So you should realize that you are a unique individual who cannot compare to others.
Step 4. Dress well
Every morning, find a presentable and appropriate outfit that gives you physical and moral confidence. Dressing well will make you feel better on the outside, which will also give you more confidence. Take into account the outfit you choose in relation to the activities of the day ahead. You're definitely not going to wear a business outfit or a dress dress for a lunch with friends, for example, just like you are not going to put on jeans and a t-shirt for a business meeting.
Be aware of the color scheme you wear. Blue traditionally encourages relaxation and creativity, where green inspires freshness
Method 2 of 4: Be fully present in society
Step 1. Turn off and put away all electronic devices
Get rid of your phone, tablet, laptop, or other electronic device when you are in a company. You cannot relate to others if you are constantly plugged into your electronic gadgets. Give your full attention to the social event you are attending and to the people in front of you. You can get in touch with other people later.
You can turn off your mobile phone or put it to sleep to prevent it from ringing. This will prevent you from being tempted to check your email
Step 2. Make yourself physically comfortable
It's hard to be fully present in a situation if you keep thinking about how happy you are when you can finally take off those tight jeans or itchy dress. Wear clothing that is appropriate for the situation and comfortable, so you can focus on the moment.
Step 3. Wait at least two seconds before reacting in a discussion
Don't think about how you're going to respond to the speaker when you're in a discussion. Instead, focus on what she's telling you and think for two seconds about what you're going to respond to when your turn to speak.
- If, for example, you are told an anecdote about hiking with a dog, do not think about a similar experience with your own pooch while you are being talked to. Listen carefully to what you are told, then share your own experience.
- Empathize with the experience of the person speaking to you and be in tune with what they are feeling. You could say, for example, that his situation also shocked you because you went through the same thing.
Step 4. Practice more presence at home
You should start to be more present to yourself to be more in society. Try to meditate by going to a quiet place, making yourself comfortable, and focusing on a deep breath. Focus on your body's reactions when you inhale and exhale. Repeat a single word or mantra, or listen to a repetitive tune that calms and clears your mind.
Spend at least five minutes a day doing nothing other than being at peace with yourself
Method 3 of 4: Master verbal exchanges
Step 1. Ask open-ended questions that require complete answers
Do this when you are talking to someone and don't ask questions that may end with a monosyllable. Ask questions about the topic of the current discussion. For example, you can ask if others liked a particular movie or if this person found the time to travel or what actually happened in a given situation.
- Open ended questions force others to talk in more detail, which moves the discussion forward.
- Ask questions of the person you are talking to. Everyone loves to talk about themselves and the easiest way to have more charisma is to be the one to let others brag about their accomplishments. You can always ask someone you just met what they do for a living, if they're in a relationship, what their career is, or whatever. You can also ask someone you know a bit about their last trip or how their partner is doing as a topic to break the ice.
Step 2. Be modest, but also fairly assertive
We might want to congratulate you on one of your accomplishments. Accept these congratulations in all modesty by thanking the person and adding that other people have contributed as well. You can do this, for example, by saying that this compliment makes you happy, but that your colleagues have also helped you a lot to achieve this ambitious professional project. This type of reaction shows that you are proud of your work, but not bragging about yourself.
- You should strike a balance between being too modest and lacking in humility. You might say disparagingly about your accomplishments if you err on the side of modesty and it might seem like you ended up doing nothing at all. But you will be found to be too self-absorbed or arrogant if you are too sure of yourself when you exclaim that you have been working day and night on your project and the result is pretty awesome.
- You give an impression of elegance and pleasant character when you react with appropriate modesty and acknowledge the efforts of others.
Step 3. Restate snippets of discussions to show that you are listening
We appreciate knowing that we are being listened to. Repeat in your own words what you heard during a discussion. You may respond, for example, after hearing someone talk about their family problems, that you have understood that this person is not valued at his own worth by those close to him.
This person will probably respond to this that indeed, his family is not very understanding and that they do not really know how to react to it. You show the other person that you are listening and try to move the discussion forward when you return to the topic appropriately
Step 4. Include everyone in the room
Some people are more outgoing than others. Be aware of this and include everyone in the discussion. Try asking questions of the person who doesn't seem to be participating in the discussion, and walk around the audience to give everyone a chance to speak.
- Look for clues of nonverbal communication such as crossing your arms or looking down to gauge how much attention can put others at ease.
- Stay away from controversial or sensitive topics of discussion, such as political opinions or matters of the heart, which may make some people uncomfortable.
Step 5. Share personal stories with others
People will feel closer to you when you talk about your struggles overcoming a career barrier or relationship issues with your parents. Your audience will better understand who you are and where you are from, and they will see you as someone worth following.
Method 4 of 4: Master non-verbal communication
Step 1. Look closely at others
Always look at the person you are talking to. The exchange of glances shows the other that you are paying attention to what they are saying. It is equally important to hold a gaze when talking to others. Keep a strong, direct gaze to express confidence.
A firm gaze also allows you to remember what has been said
Step 2. Engage physically in the discussion
Lean in the direction of the person you are talking to to show them that you are participating in the discussion. Also let your body react to what is said. Express your astonishment by pulling back when you have been told something surprising!
Step 3. Nod to show that you are listening
Do this when you are spoken to so the other knows they are being heard. You give the impression of participating in the discussion and make it clear that you want to know more when you nod. Don't do it for no good reason though, be sure to nudge at the right time.
Step 4. Build a bigger build by standing with your legs apart and your hands on your hips
You will have more confidence when you take up more space. It can also make you more accessible to your partner. You will appear warmer with your hands on your hips than with your arms crossed over your chest.
- The self-confident pose will give you more confidence, which will permeate through everything you say.
- A confident and warm personality attracts others and makes you a more charismatic person.
Step 5. Have more lively body language
Make bigger and more exaggerated gestures. This type of body language will appeal to others because you are passionate about it. You will also be remembered more readily, because your words will be associated with the actions you have taken.
- It takes time and training to have more charisma. So don't be demoralized if this doesn't happen right away.
- Stay away from killjoys. Surround yourself with happy people and you should naturally adopt their frame of mind.