How to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook

How to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook
How to start a conversation with a girl on Facebook

Starting a conversation with a pretty girl on Facebook can be very intimidating, especially if the two of you don't know each other well or even at all. Start the discussion with a remark or a question that will show your sincere interest in her person. Then continue the exchange, making sure to remain respectful and attentive.


Part 1 of 3: Knowing the best approach

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 1

Step 1. Send him a private message

To start a one-on-one conversation with a girl on Facebook, it's best to send her a private message, rather than leaving her a message on her wall or commenting on her status, photos, or other public content.

By sending her a private message, a real conversation will develop more naturally, since you and your interlocutor will be able to be fully yourself, without anyone else being able to access the exchange

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 2

Step 2. Join an ongoing conversation

The only situation you can approach her in public will be when you have something interesting to add to a conversation going on right now on her profile.

Make sure you really add something to the conversation, in a meaningful and non-controversial way. Avoid expressing disagreement with her if it could lead to an argument or create a negative impression. Preferably wait for a light subject. For example, if she openly asks for opinions about which phone she should buy, you could give her your opinion and support your answer with sane arguments

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 3

Step 3. Respond only to recent content

Even though you've looked at all of her photos from the past 5 years, make sure she doesn't find out… at least not at first. As a rule of thumb, only comment or like content posted within the past month, so the girl doesn't think you're spying on her online.

You may need to adapt this time frame to the frequency of the girl's Facebook updates. If she updates her status 10 times a day, only react to content posted in the past week. On the contrary, if she only publishes once a month, you could react to statuses and photos published several months ago

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 4

Step 4. Keep in touch

Starting a conversation will usually not be enough. You will need to make the necessary efforts to stay in touch with her until you have aroused enough interest for her to come back to you on her own.

  • By regularly making the effort to reach out to her, you will show her that your interest in her is sincere and lasting.
  • If persistence is good, make sure it doesn't turn into obsession. Don't start a new conversation several times a day or even every day: that would be too much! Let her breathe between your messages!
  • Also, be careful not to keep insisting that she answer you. If she doesn't want to respond to your messages, complaining won't make her change her mind.
Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 5

Step 5. Get noticed before sending them a friend request

If you are not already friends with this girl, you will need to chat with her for a while before sending her a friend request. Perhaps she does not accept requests from strangers and so she might not accept yours until she has made more acquaintance with you.

After a few conversations, ask her if you can send her a friend request. By asking her permission, you will show her great respect and she will probably appreciate the gesture

Part 2 of 3: Choose a catchphrase

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 6

Step 1. Ask him open-ended questions

You could start the conversation with a question, but then prefer open questions to closed questions. Closed questions are those that can be answered with yes or no. Open questions call for a more detailed answer. For this, the latter lead more easily to real conversations.

  • For example, you could ask him questions about his name.

    • If it's a rare name, ask him about the name itself "Isla is a very pretty name." Do you know its origins or its meaning? "
    • If it is a more common name, the question should be more personal. “I have always loved the first name Rachel. Are you wearing it in honor of someone in particular, or are your parents just very fond of first names? "
    • Note that in these two examples, the remark opens with a compliment, before leading to a question. It doesn't absolutely have to be, but pairing a compliment with the question will usually make a really good first impression.
Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 7

Step 2. Find things in common with her

Determine if you have anything in common with this girl, no matter how small and harmless. By pointing out these commonalities to her, you will create an immediate connection, which will encourage her to deepen your connection.

  • If you and this girl have mutual friends on Facebook, you might want to use that as a starting point for a conversation. For example: “I noticed that you are friends with Alex. How did you meet? I've known him since we were very young, we grew up in the same neighborhood. "
  • Likewise, if you know this girl in real life, you could use the experiences you shared. For example: "You're in Ms. Lorenz's Spanish class on Tuesday, aren't you?" I'm in his Thursday class. What do you think of its course? "
Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 8

Step 3. Build on current events

Recent events will be the perfect shortcut to a common ground, since they touch or interest most people. Try to focus on local news and choose a topic that will really interest him.

  • If possible, choose a topic related to the smallest circle that you and this girl share. If she lives across the country, tell her about something going on in France right now. If she lives in your city or neighborhood, forget about the national news and tell her something about your community.
  • Understand all the same that not all girls will be interested in all local hot topics. For example, maybe she won't take an interest in the city's soccer club season if she doesn't like the sport. If her Facebook profile indicates that she is a football fan, this topic could on the other hand allow you to initiate a conversation.
Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 9

Step 4. Comment on something she owns

If she has something in her profile photo or other recent photo, comment on it or ask her a question about it. You will thus make him understand that you are attentive (ve) to the small details, which will show a greater degree of sincerity and interest towards him.

Be creative. If the photo shows her in a cafe with a mug in her hand, ask her what she was drinking that day. If she is wearing an original necklace, compliment her on the jewelry and ask where it came from, telling her that you are looking for a gift for your sister (if you have a sister, of course)

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 10

Step 5. Give her sincere and unique compliments

A slight flattery might help you in your process, but only if you do it right! Avoid general and overheard compliments. When possible, compliment her on a low-key detail that you find really appealing.

  • Compliments on things that are too obvious, like tattoos or hairstyles, sometimes seem insincere, even when you think about what you say. The more visible features are complimented more often, and this type of compliment will not make you stand out.
  • Avoid compliments of a sexual nature. In other words, don't start the conversation with a comment about her chest, hips, or butt.
  • Compliment her on more subtle points, like her outfit, name, passions, etc. Personal compliments are usually much more effective than general compliments.
Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 11

Step 6. Don't just focus on her looks

It's not always easy to learn more about a girl's interests and personality on Facebook, especially if you and her aren't really friends yet. By making the effort to speak to him as a human being, with his ideas and his emotions, however, you will achieve this much better than focusing only on his physical appearance.

Keep this in mind when considering which sentence to approach it. For example, the girl in question might have a beautiful smile, very beautiful eyes and hair to fall in love with. But if she has a copy of Pride and Prejudice on her profile picture, refer to that detail. By noticing the book she is holding in her hand, you will prove to her that you are interested in her tastes and her personality, which will leave her a much better impression of you

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 12

Step 7. Be yourself

As trite as it may sound, when you strike up a conversation with this girl, you should always make sure to be yourself. Do not play a role in order to impress her. The facades are very difficult to maintain and once she sees clearly in your game, she will lose interest in you or be suspicious of you.

By remaining yourself from the start of the conversation, the conversation will be much more fluid and natural. Going back to a previous example, don't pretend you're interested in the coffee she's drinking if you hate coffee or the book she's holding on her picture if you don't like to read. By starting a conversation on a topic that doesn't really interest you, you won't have much to say and the discussion will come to an end

Part 3 of 3: take certain precautions

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 13

Step 1. Be respectful

Don't be perverse, obnoxious or vulgar. Any girl who respects herself a minimum will not tolerate these behaviors. To make her respond to you in a positive way, approach her like a true gentleman.

Never treat this person like an object, insult them if they don't respond the way you would have hoped, and broach sexual matters until mutual attraction and love interest is evident. To be respectful, you'll need to follow a lot more than these three rules, but they'll still be a good place to start

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 14

Step 2. Carefully choose your humor traits

You could break the ice with a joke, but with the wrong joke, you risk starting the conversation on very bad grounds. When communicating via the Internet, it is not always easy to make it understood that we are joking and it will therefore be preferable to save your humor notes for later, when your interlocutor knows your personality and your sense of humor better. humor.

If you decide to start the conversation with a joke, keep it on a safe topic. A slightly nutty joke might work. A touch of self-mockery could also make her laugh. Avoid inappropriate jokes or those that can easily be misunderstood

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 15

Step 3. Don't brag

By starting a conversation by talking about all of your qualities, you will come across as a self-centered person. As the conversation progresses, the girl will probably ask you questions about yourself, and then this will be the time to tell her more about your life.

In the same logic, do not speak or behave as if you were a gift fallen from the sky. No matter how charming you are, no girl owes you to be interested in you. Do your best, but don't overwhelm the girl or insult her if things aren't going the way you hoped they would

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 16

Step 4. Be patient

Even if you hope to have a relationship with this girl, don't start a conversation by asking her out. You will have to wait until you have gotten to know her, after several conversations, before getting to this stage.

As a general rule, wait until a common chemistry has developed. When (and if) you invite the girl out, do it as relaxed as possible. It won't be necessary to call it a date. The best approach will usually be to tell her that you would like to see her in person and spend time with her

Start a Conversation with a Girl on Facebook Step 17

Step 5. Let go of all jealousy

When you send him your first message, don't ask him about other boys. By telling her about the boys they talk to or that you see in her photos, you'll be sure to scare her away!

Popular by topic