Teenage years can be a tough time with new hormones emerging, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy them. If you want to enjoy this time in your life, there are many things you can do, small things and big things, that can make a big difference!
Part 1 of 4: set realistic expectations
Step 1. Realize that there is not just one solution
There are many ways to enjoy your adolescence. Everyone is different, especially during the teenage years. There is no better way to enjoy your teenage years than the one you have decided. Some teens prefer to spend these years with their friends while others prefer to study and work. Some will do their best to blend in with the scenery while others want to make noise and stand out. There isn't just one way to enjoy your teenage years, this article is only a guide and you don't have to follow all of its advice to the letter.
You like things that others don't like and that's okay. Adolescents usually like certain things, but obviously not everyone likes them. Just because you're thirteen now doesn't mean you wake up and everything has changed
Step 2. Avoid expectations based on the media
Adolescence doesn't have to be easier or harder than any other time in life. Even though it's a time of change, that doesn't necessarily mean it's the most difficult time. You are going to see new worries arise, weighed down by the continuing drama, but in truth, it is only another period of your life that you are going to go through as you have been through others since birth.
Remember that the media misrepresents adolescents. Adolescents and their lives are usually portrayed in a very reductive way in television, movies, and books. Be careful not to base your expectations of adolescence on Disney Channel, MTV or “High School Musical” or any other source in the media. These are fictional stories that might dramatize some aspect of adolescence, but might not represent reality. Likewise, you should avoid comparing yourself to the teens you see in the movies. Usually these are actors who are over 20 (sometimes even over 30), who look like models, who are very talented, and who don't necessarily look like the real thing. Videos made by real teens on YouTube are much more realistic than what you see in movies and series. Many teen movies, especially older ones, have become nostalgic benchmarks for adults, and many shows you can watch on Disney Channel or Nickelodeon are made for kids
Step 3. Realize that everyone is different
There are six years between the ages of thirteen and nineteen and there is a lot going on there. College is different from high school which is itself different from work or college as an adult. A thirteen-year-old teenager who feels bad about himself could become a confident military man by eighteen.
Part 2 of 4: grow
Step 1. Develop an understanding of yourself
Focus on your thoughts and goals instead of wondering what other people are thinking. For many people, adolescence is a time of worry, stop worrying about it! Many worries are based on worrying about what other people think, for example when you ask yourself "what if they don't like me after this?" "Or" what if mom gets angry if I don't go to med school the way she wants? Instead of asking what you think. Do what you feel like doing without considering the opinions of others, dye your hair an exuberant color, wear what you feel like wearing and not the trendy, call the girl who you like it, choose your own path and don't worry about what others think about your choices. Ultimately, it's your life and you live it the way you want to.
Of course, you have to set limits. You can say what you think and you are entitled to your opinions, but you don't want to offend others or argue in an inappropriate place. It is important to follow certain social rules, such as not hitting others. Learn to recognize when it's important to follow social rules and not what you think
Step 2. Discover new areas of interest
When you're younger people tell you all the time that you should be finding hobbies. Chances are, you already have some basic interests that you like to indulge in. Turn it to your advantage. Can you choose an activity that you want to develop and for which you want to devote more time (e.g. playing an instrument) or a subcategory that you want to explore (e.g. moving from basic writing to poetry? or the novel)? Don't be afraid to try new things. It's never too late to get interested in something new, and who knows, you might find a new passion doing it.
- Consider finding a balance if you have multiple interests. For example, if your main passion is computer programming, you could try another more artistic interest like painting, or you could learn a language. Just because you're deep into new technology or art doesn't mean you can't be interested in something else. It can be monotonous to only be interested in the same things.
- Explore your style and interests. Now is a good time to experiment, don't think that you don't have the right to explore other areas. From fashion and hobbies to music and movies, you can explore many possible types of passions. Don't feel limited by tradition or labels: if you like to dress like someone who listens to rock, but actually like country music, that's okay. Do what you want.
Step 3. Get rid of your prejudices
Even if you think you don't have them, you can still have negative thoughts about certain groups of people in your mind. Buried prejudices against religions, other ethnic groups, homosexuals etc. can prevent you from seeing the world clearly, get rid of it. No one looks like a stereotype, and if you see others as true copies of a stereotype, you are preventing yourself from knowing their true self.
On a smaller scale, stop thinking badly about people you've had bad experiences with. Unless someone has caused you a lot of physical or psychological pain, they probably aren't as bad as you think. If everything you know about this person is from outside sources and not from that person directly, you cannot tell if these rumors are true. You don't have to be best friends, but you can be courteous and respectful, you might even try to be friendly. You might have a nice surprise and see that it is different than you thought
Step 4. Reinforce your work ethic
Yes, school takes a lot of work from you, but during your teenage years it's more important than ever. What you accomplish during this time could determine a large part of the opportunities available to you as an adult. Take time to study and to do your best during middle and high school. Try to accomplish as much as possible instead of putting it off until the next day. Learn to prioritize, whether at school, at work, or any other extracurricular activity. Develop your academic skills and have fun doing it. Even if this doesn't sound like a lot of fun, it will come in handy later in life. Some teens (not just the top of the class) find it funny!
- You don't have to become a 20/20 subscriber, but you should do your best to take it to the next level. Avoid slacking off too much, as this will get you bad grades.
- Don't rush into your schoolwork because you want to hang out with your friends, instead, you have to work there to learn new things. We too often forget that school is for learning, not for being stuck in a chair for several hours every day.
Step 5. Take your time to understand who you are
Adolescence is a time of chaos and constant change, and there's a good chance your interests are constantly changing. There is nothing set in stone, even in my late teens. You will continue to develop yourself and make the person you are as you go through your life. You don't have to figure out who you are and decide who you want to be during your teenage years. If someone tells you that you have to decide which university you want to go to and what you want to do in the future, they are wrong. Even if you think you have already decided what you want to do, don't be surprised to see your plans change, you may never know what life has in store for you.
Part 3 of 4: Developing Relationships
Step 1. Work on your social skills
Some teens struggle with social interactions, but for a variety of reasons. Since social interactions are necessary for success, it's important to learn how to deal with your shyness and social anxiety. Consider working on your social skills with a friend or family member. It's not going to replace new social exchanges, but it might help.
Adolescents with autism and those with other disabilities like ADD or social anxiety disorder might have significant problems during social interactions. If you have autism, try to learn how to develop better social skills, read other people's body language, and understand colorful language and sarcasm, as these are important things for interacting with others. If you have ADD or another disorder, you can learn not to interrupt others, dominate the conversation, focus on another person or another task, etc
Step 2. Be polite to people you don't know
Every day you will meet people you don't know, whether at school or in public. It might sound like fun making fun of people you don't know, but it's rude and they might one day find out. Later in life you will have to work with people you don't know, so it's best to be polite to strangers. If you can do it, try to be friendly as well. People around you will like it, even if you can't see it.
If someone you don't know makes a blunder that makes everyone laugh, like dropping their books all over the place, don't laugh and instead go help them pick them up if you have time. It's a good thing to do and others are likely to appreciate it, even if they don't show it
Step 3. Make close friends
You don't have to be at the top of the school social ladder and know everyone, but you should at least have a few loyal friends during your teenage years. Friendships are great for developing your social skills, and creating stable relationships with others can help you determine what kind of friendships or romantic relationships you want. Remember, life is much easier and fun with friends. Make sure your friends make you feel good about yourself and don't get you into trouble, you want to enjoy your teenage years, not have horrible years because of your "friends".
- Find friends who make you feel good and who inspire you to be the best version of yourself.
- Spend time with friends you really care about, and don't worry about dating people who aren't contributing to your life. Friends come and go and you can have more or less of different types. This is not a problem. It doesn't matter how many friends you have, it's their quality that matters, even if that sounds like a big cliché!
- If you have a hard time making friends, try to find friends in places where there are people like you. For example, are you homosexual? Try to find a group of LGBT teens in your town or ask if there is one in your school that you can join. If you'd rather write than socialize, try finding a writing club. If you have autism, try to find other people with autism to make friends.
- Try social media if you're having trouble making real-life friends. However, you should be very careful with this method. Online friendships develop in a very different way than in real life and many people on the internet pretend to be people they are not, you can never tell who is behind the screen. Sometimes you might even be talking to a robot without realizing it! Be careful when making friends online and never agree to meet someone in a private place. Avoid giving out personal information to people you meet online if you are not sure you can trust them. It's better to meet people in real life than to meet them on the internet.
Step 4. Go slowly in your love life
Some teens (but not all) are interested in dating, and you might want to find a partner. If you find yourself one, you should take it slow and communicate well with each other. This helps build healthier relationships over the long term. You don't need to be glued to each other all the time. Make sure the relationship allows both partners to have their own friends and interests. You don't have to rush into anything before you're ready.
- If the relationship ends, it's not the end of the world. You might be tempted not to want a relationship anymore, especially if the breakup hurt you, but you need to keep an open mind. People evolve and change. A relationship that could have worked six months ago can prove to be extremely destructive now. Also, keep in mind that there are few couples who stay together through high school and beyond, due to distance or other factors.
- Beware of abusive relationships. If you feel like you always have to walk on eggshells around your partner or avoid them getting angry or hitting you, if you can't talk to anyone without them accusing you of cheating on him are glaring signs that the relationship is not healthy for you and you need to get out of it right away! The same goes for toxic friendships.
Step 5. Maintain a good relationship with your family
Your family members, especially your parents, are probably worried about what will happen to you in your teenage years. Many teens become bleak, isolate themselves, and don't care about family as much as they should. Try to avoid doing it. Family is one of the most important bonds in your life, it is the basis of all the relationships you develop, whether it's friendships, romantic relationships or the family you want to have later on. Besides, you see them every day, why not make the time you spend together a pleasant one?
- You don't have to be best friends, but you can be nice to each other and hang out together.Play a video game with your sister, help your brother with his homework, offer your mom to go for a walk, or play a board game with your dad. Do not spend all day in your room and only see your family at mealtimes.
- Improve your relationship with your siblings. You may have a fight every now and then, but you should remember that this relationship is probably going to be the longest of your life. Your siblings can be powerful allies, mentors, and friends, not just now, but also when you're old.
- Watch out for abusive relationships in the family. Your family members can be your closest friends, but they can also negatively impact your life. If your parents keep you down all the time, it could be emotional abuse. If your brother beats you all the time, it is a sign of physical abuse. In general, you can ease the pain by talking to a close friend or opposing the abuser, but you can also report it to social services.
- Stay close to your more distant family, like your cousins, you should also make an effort to spend time together. You probably don't see them often, which is why you need to make the most of your time with them!
Part 4 of 4: Helping others
Step 1. Consider volunteering
You might be interested in a volunteer or work opportunity. You don't have to, but it might be worth helping others. Many volunteers say that what they do makes them feel good. This could then help you develop yourself. Think about the pros and cons of volunteering and use them to decide if you want to help others.
Step 2. Avoid believing that you can't help
You don't have to find work when you're a teenager and if you're under the age it is even going to be impossible to find, but that doesn't mean you can't help. Consider volunteering, doing odd jobs, or helping someone learn new skills. It can do wonders to help others! It might be useful for future job interviews to show that you have worked or volunteered before, which has given you some experience.
Volunteering doesn't have to be outside the home. If you have an Internet connection, you can do so online, for example by editing articles on wikiHow about your favorite topics
Step 3. Develop your interests and talents
Are you interested in animals? You could volunteer at a shelter or collect materials at a shelter near you. Do you have good contact with people? Find a job or volunteer position where you need to talk to people. Can you create complex web pages without putting in too much effort? Offer to help teach others to do this. Take your talents and interests and find something you can do using them. It could be a great help at work or your volunteer position and you will have fun at the same time!
Step 4. Try to help young children
If you are good in the classroom, you might want to check in at school to see if there isn't a program in place that will allow you to help struggling students. Otherwise, you can ask people you know with young children if they need help, then you might stumble upon some great opportunities.
- You can decline an offer. If you cannot help the neighbor's son because he is too loud and dissipated or if you are not good at a subject where you are asked for help, you can politely say, "I'm sorry, I am not good at anything. can't help you”or“I don't think we can work effectively together”.
- You can choose to get paid or do it for free. If you choose to get paid, don't ask for too much money. You will find far fewer opportunities if you charge an inflated price.
Step 5. Take part in activities to show your support
Some associations will organize activities to make donations to different causes, for example, marches against cancer to collect funds which will be given to research centers against this disease. Other activities make it possible to make people aware of diseases or to accept people with disabilities. Consider participating in this kind of activity.
Make sure you know the group you are supporting. Some are well known for their tendency towards controversy. Do careful research before attending any of their events. You don't want to support an association that is going to do you more harm than good
Step 6. Do things that make others happy
You don't have to be involved in the activities of a known association to make a difference. Consider doing basic things to help people have a better day, compliment a classmate on their poem, tell someone you admire them, help a student who has brought down their business, keep the door open for people with cluttered arms, etc. All of these little things can help others have a better day. Step out of your comfort zone and help the world become a better place by making other people's lives more enjoyable.
- Travel can also be a great way to develop yourself. However, this is not necessary and you can do without it.
- Do not try to become "normal" because that does not exist when you are a teenager everyone is developing and trying to find each other. It's time to try lots of new things!
- Remember, not everyone likes adolescence, that's a fact. However, even if you don't enjoy this time, you should try to be kind to others and wait for it to pass. Just because you have a bad hand at the game of life doesn't mean you have to throw all the cards and give up!
- Many teens have to deal with a lot of drama. Remember, the more you avoid these tragedies, the happier you will be.
- School doesn't have to be boring, try to make the most of it. It's a time when everyone makes the transition from childhood to adulthood taking on new responsibilities, doing your homework, doing your best and making friends!