When a delicate issue in your life becomes too important, it is only natural that you turn to your mother to talk about it. However, it can sometimes be embarrassing to confide in her. This is quite normal and there are several ways to facilitate the discussion. Indeed, you must prepare yourself by determining when and how the conversation should take place. It is true that you will be a little stressed, but be direct and polite throughout this conversation. Also, you should strive to end on a positive note, after which you will ask your mother for advice and thank her for the time she has given you.
Part 1 of 3: Make decisions about the conversation
Step 1. Determine the best time to chat
If you want to discuss a potentially awkward topic, it's important to find the perfect time and place to do so. Wanting to chat while your mom is stressed or busy will only make an already awkward situation more stressful.
- Pick a time when there is no external time constraint. If you want to talk to your mom about a private or embarrassing topic, you need to make sure that the two of you can chat about it for as long as possible.
- You should also choose a time when you and your mother are generally not stressed. You should avoid talking to her about something embarrassing or embarrassing when you are already in a bad mood. If you both usually have some free time on Saturdays, then this might be a good time to chat, as you will all be relaxed.
Step 2. Prepare to be embarrassed
If you want to discuss a private matter with a parent, you will probably be embarrassed. This is completely normal and it will be easier to tackle the problem if you expect to be embarrassed.
- Don't try to persuade yourself not to feel embarrassed or embarrassed. This will probably make you focus on those feelings even more.
- Instead, accept that you feel embarrassed, but remember why you want to chat. For example, you might want to talk to your mom about dating or sex. Although the subject is complex to broach, she can provide you with valuable advice, as she is more experienced and older.
Step 3. Know what you want to get out of the discussion
It is not a good idea to start the discussion without having some idea of what you want. If you talk to your mom about something private, it means you are doing it for a specific reason. Think about why you want to discuss this with her. Knowing what you want can also help you steer the conversation better.
- You may just want your mom to listen to you. If you are going through an embarrassing personal situation, you might just want to confide in someone. If so, you can tell your mom that you don't want any advice or advice.
- However, you might want to receive advice on a specific topic. In this case, think about whether or not your mother's contribution would be helpful. If you want advice, you can ask for it directly. For example, you can express yourself by saying, “Mom, I need you to give me advice about something. "
Part 2 of 3: Communicate Effectively
Step 1. Start the conversation
You might be very nervous about approaching your mother. What you don't know, however, is that a single sentence can be an easy way to start a discussion. Take a deep breath and walk up to her to talk to her first.
- Try something simple. For example, you can express yourself by saying “Mom, do you have a minute? There is something I want to talk to you about. "
- If you are nervous your mom will be angry, so try to warn her. You can express yourself in these words: “Mom, something has happened that you might be upset about. Anyway, I have to tell you about it, even if you end up resenting me. "
Step 2. Be direct
There is no reason not to want to approach the subject in a direct manner. If you have something important to say, do so without hesitation. Being as direct as possible can help start the discussion frankly and honestly.
- Give your mother all the details necessary for her to fully understand the situation. You must avoid making allusions.
- For example, start by expressing yourself with a straightforward and clear sentence like "Mom, I've been dating Joel for a while now and he wants us to have sex for the first time." I'm not sure I'm ready, but he keeps pushing me. I really do not know what to do. "
Step 3. Listen to your mother's point of view
You may not necessarily need counseling, but it is the role of parents to counsel a child. Even if you don't agree with your mom, try to let her voice her opinion without interrupting.
- Make an effort to understand his point of view. If you're feeling frustrated with your mom's perspective, take a break and try to put yourself in her shoes. Think about why she might feel such emotion in a situation.
- For example, you tell her that a friend of yours is using drugs and she reacted very badly. Even though you might feel like she's judging you, she might have a friend who had serious drug problems while they were in high school. This could be the reason why she had such a reaction.
Step 4. Be polite and respectful during the conversation
If you are discussing a private matter, know that there is always a chance that your mother will not react the way you want. She may be worried, upset, or even angry. However, you have to make an effort to stay calm despite his reaction. You need to keep the situation from turning into an argument, as that won't help you both work out.
- Remember good manners. Do not interrupt the discussion or raise your voice.
- Always recognize that you heard what your mother said, even if you didn't like it. For example, you can express yourself by saying, “I understand that you think Audrey is a bad influence on me, but I really care about her as a friend. "
Part 3 of 3: End on a positive note
Step 1. Avoid arguing
You must at all costs prevent the discussion from turning into an argument. Even if your mother governs badly, avoid arguing with her. Keep your tone calm and respectful throughout the discussion, even if you feel it is unfair.
- If you feel like you're getting worked up, it's best to take a break. You can express yourself this way by saying, “I have the impression that we are not moving forward in the discussion. Can we take a break and talk about this later? "
- Then there is something you can do to vent your anger. For example, you can take a walk or confide in a friend.
Step 2. Manage a negative reaction
Your mom may not react the way you wanted to. She may get angry about the matter or even punish you. She can still make a new rule about your behavior. In the event that she reacts badly, make an effort to deal with it effectively.
- If she talks to you or lectures you in a way that is really not helpful to you, let her know. Express yourself by saying, “I really don't need any advice, I just wanted to chat. "
- If she sets a rule about your behavior (for example, she says "I don't want you hanging out with Krista at all"), accept that for now. You can chat with her again after she calms down. The fact of wanting to argue could encourage him to make the rule more stringent.
Step 3. Ask for advice if you want
Maybe you wanted some advice from your mother. This may be the reason why you initiated the discussion. If you want advice, ask for it after you let them know about the topic. You can express yourself by saying, “I just wanted to get some advice, because I'm not sure what to do."
Keep in mind that just because someone is giving you advice doesn't mean you need to follow it. However, it can be helpful to just listen and consider your point of view
Step 4. Talk to someone else if your mom won't listen to you
Some subjects can be very complex to be submitted to your mother's appreciation. If she reacts very badly and doesn't want to discuss it, get closer to another adult.