3 ways to behave with a teenager

3 ways to behave with a teenager
3 ways to behave with a teenager

Adolescence is difficult for everyone: the teenager himself, his friends and his family. Adolescents fall victim to certain stereotypes that are not always correct, such as always being angry, moody, violent and rude. These stereotypes stem, in part, from exceptional situations that these adolescents have experienced. Whether you are a friend, girlfriend or parent of a teenager, you should not assume that these stereotypes automatically apply to him. If it starts showing some of them, it is important that you understand the cause and act on it.


Method 1 of 3: Be friendly with a teenager

Deal With Teenage Boys Step 1

Step 1. Understand the effects of adolescence

This period can indeed change his point of view. Boys typically go through puberty between the ages of 11 and 16. It is during these years that they experience physical changes (including growing and building muscle). During and after these years, they will also begin to develop their sexuality. They will also change the way they look at themselves, but also on the people around them.

  • If you are friends with a teenager, they may start to behave differently with you. Part of this will be because he's going through emotional (and hormonal) changes, but also because your own physical appearance is changing. These changes don't have to make you think you've done something wrong, but are just a part of life.
  • Teens also tend to be hanged or less confident about their sexual orientation. So your friend may need your help and support figuring out who they are.
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Step 2. Read his body language

Body language is made up of the movements and positions that a person's body takes and is generally used to understand how they are feeling. Paying attention to his way of communicating with you will help you determine the best way to approach him.

  • The ability to read your body language begins with a good sense of observation. Practice body language reading by observing the people around you in your daily activities such as shopping, taking the bus, or having a coffee.
  • Here are some examples of body languages ​​that you can observe in your friends.

    • If you see your friend walking through your school yard with his hands in his pockets and shoulders down, he may be feeling rejected.
    • If your friend plays with his hair a lot or adjusts his clothes, he's likely to be feeling nervous.
    • If your friend is typing their fingers (like playing drums) on a table or appearing restless, you can assume they're impatient.
    • If your friend is talking to another person and crossing their arms in front of them or holding something in front of them, they are in a defensive position.
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Step 3. Show empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and appreciate another person's feelings. In other words, empathy is being able to put yourself in the shoes of the person in front of you. She allows you to understand what she is going through and to empathize with her. Being empathetic also allows you to build healthier relationships.

  • Being emphatic is about listening. It's hard to understand how a person feels if you don't give them the trouble to express themselves.
  • When you listen to your friend, think about how you would feel if you were in the same situation as them. It is possible that he shares the same feelings as you.
  • Here are some examples of how you can empathize with your friend.

    • If your friend tells you a story in which they express a lot of different feelings, listen to them carefully and repeat some things they share with you. This will show him that you are really listening to him and that you care about what he is saying to you.
    • If your friend gives you an opinion on a topic, listen to him without judging him. Then ask him why he feels this way. Try to put yourself in their shoes before expressing your own opinion.
    • If your friend has had a particularly embarrassing experience and they don't want to tell you about it, open up to them by sharing a humiliating experience you have had yourself. This will make your friend more comfortable telling you about their experience if you have the courage to share yours.
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Step 4. Be Compassionate

The next step after empathy is compassion. Compassion is wanting to help someone in need. Once you have a better understanding of how your friend is feeling, you can figure out what you can do to help them. Being compassionate is another way to build healthier relationships.

  • Talk to your friend and ask if he needs anything. If he doesn't know what he needs, think about what you would like someone to do for you in his situation and offer that help.
  • Take an interest in how your friend is feeling and use your curiosity to ask questions and get to know them better.
  • Be kind to your friend if you know they are being made fun of or being abused by others. Do not get involved in the rumors that are spread about him and do not make fun of him too.
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Step 5. Stay loyal

One of the most important parts of friendship is loyalty and being with a friend through good times and bad. Don't let rumors and hallway rumors spread by other people influence how you view your friend. It also means that you have to be prepared to sacrifice yourself if he needs anything.

  • Loyalty and friendship are more than just keeping secrets, because sometimes you will need to break any trust he may have in you in order to come to his aid.
  • Loyalty is also about telling your friend something they might not want to hear, by being honest. The truth can hurt, but sometimes it is necessary.
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Step 6. Don't bow to peer pressure

Your peers are people who are the same age as you or who share your interests. These are often your friends, but they don't have to be. Because you spend a lot of time in their company and see them almost daily, they will often have an influence on you, whether it is a positive or a negative influence. However, when your peers or friends push you to act in a way that is contrary to what you want to do or what you should be doing, you know you are the victim of negative influence.

Your friend may start to feel and act strange. Other teens may also try to get him to act contrary to his principles. As a friend, stay by his side and support him during this difficult time

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Step 7. Pay attention to his aggressiveness

A teenager's body and brain go through major disruptions and changes. A teenager's brain changes physically and this can cause them to behave irresponsibly. Indeed, these physical changes in the brain have a direct effect on its ability to respond to emotions such as anger, fear, panic or anxiety. Add to that a large amount of testosterone and you will definitely get the possibility of aggressive or negative behavior.

  • If you have an argument with your friend and he starts acting aggressively, stay calm.
  • If your conversation turns too violent and your friend doesn't seem to want to calm down, go. Tell him you will resume your discussion in about 30 minutes. Give her a chance to calm down before resuming your conversation.
  • If your friend is physically abusive, think about your safety first. Get away from him as quickly as possible. If you cannot escape and you are afraid for your safety, call for help immediately.

Method 2 of 3: Dating a teenager

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Step 1. Know when to start dating

There is no general rule about this, so it depends on you (but also your parents). If you are ready and comfortable, but also your parents have given you their consent, now is a good time to get started. The most important thing is not to feel pressured into acting like this and going out on a date if that isn't what you want.

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Step 2. Find out if it's the right one

Do you like it? Is he nice to you? Do you get along well together? Are you attracted to him? Do you feel butterflies in your stomach in his presence? Before you start dating, ask yourself these questions. If you have a good feeling about this guy and are ready to take the plunge, you can go out with him a few times to get to know him better.

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Step 3. Understand his strange behavior around you

The changes experienced by adolescents going through puberty are not the same and the situation is often easier for girls. There is a longer time frame in which puberty can start for a girl, but once it does start it will end quickly. Boys, on the other hand, can continue to grow and change into their 20s. This means that boys continue to feel disoriented and uncomfortable for a longer period of time. It will be even more difficult if the boy you know feels he is growing up slower than his friends.

  • Boys experience a change in voice during adolescence, the latter becoming progressively more severe. But their voice, while this change is happening, will sometimes sound a bit strange to them. It can make them uncomfortable when chatting with other people because they have difficulty in mastering their voice.
  • It won't always be a detail you keep in mind, but one of the biggest changes teens experience during puberty is affecting their penises. The latter, as well as their scrotum, is indeed growing and producing more hormones that can cause unwanted erections. Just thinking of a girl, for example, can cause one. Unfortunately, boys can't always control these reactions and that may explain why he will sometimes be uncomfortable around you.
  • Boys start to be more socially mature around their seventeen years of age. Before that, they can behave in immature and childish ways. The fact that girls grow up faster is the reason why they may find boys painful until they mature and catch up with them.
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Step 4. Go on a date

When a boy offers to date you, that doesn't mean he wants to be your boyfriend automatically. Start with a first outing and see how it goes between you. Dating can consist of going out for a coffee, seeing a play or a match, but also going to a restaurant, etc. No matter what you choose to do, make it something you both like.

If the first date goes well, go out a second time together and so on. If not, it's not a big deal, but it just indicates that you are not meant to be together

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Step 5. Date for the right reasons

Some teens feel the need to date another person in order to get the attention they need, in part because they have self-esteem or self-confidence issues. Others want a relationship in order to feel like they are controlling another person or establishing special status with their peers by having a boyfriend. Neither of these reasons is good for starting dating a boy.

If these are the only reasons you want to date a boy, then it might not be a good idea to do so. You would be in the position to use it for your own purposes, which is not fair to him

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Step 6. Be yourself

Whether you want to date this guy or just be friends with him, remember that the most important thing is that you are yourself. If a boy wants to be with you because you are pretending to be a different person, that means he is actually not interested in you. And even if your relationship seems to be working at first, it's unlikely to last. Your true personality will eventually come to the surface, because you can't pretend to be someone else forever.

You don't have to date a guy who shares your intelligence. If you are smarter than your boyfriend this is fine, and vice versa. Don't try to act stupid to make this boy feel more comfortable around you. He'll probably blame you for that when he realizes you weren't being honest with him

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Step 7. Know how to recognize love

When you first start dating a boy, sometimes you will feel like you immediately fell in love with him. It is possible that this is the case, but it could also just be just attraction or some form of infatuation. Sometimes it will last, but it won't always be. If this feeling wanes over time, it is possible that reality is interfering with your ideals. His little quirks will become more visible and his flaws impossible to ignore.

  • True love takes time and work. And you won't always be in love with the guys you're dating.
  • Love, within a couple, requires attraction (a physical alchemy), closeness (an emotional connection) and commitment (the willingness to get involved with a person).
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Step 8. Recognize a healthy relationship

A healthy relationship is more likely to last, even when your boyfriend's little quirks are more apparent. A relationship also requires some respect for the other, time, knowing how to give and receive, being able to share feelings, both good and bad, being able to listen to each other and support their ideas and needs within the couple.

If you think your relationship is missing any of these ingredients for a healthy relationship, talk to your boyfriend. If you can fix this, it's a great sign that your relationship is meant to last. If you are not successful, then it may be a sign that it is time for both of you to move on

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Step 9. Know when to break up

Not all relationships are made to last. People may move in different directions or may quickly realize that they are not meant to be together. No matter when you or your boyfriend determines it's time to move on, never think your relationship was a waste of time. Each relationship allows you to grow and learn more about yourself.

  • Each relationship should meet the needs of both members of a couple. If your boyfriend isn't meeting your needs, or you aren't meeting his, it's time to move on.
  • Breakups are never obvious, and you will definitely feel terrible. But that feeling will eventually fade. Don't sacrifice your long term happiness for the short term.

Method 3 of 3: Raise a teenager

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Step 1. Understand his anger

Adolescents experience emotional spikes due to their hormones (testosterone), which can negatively impact their ability to deal with fear and cause them to lose their inhibitions. It can also cause them to pursue dangerous activities, simply because they are not able to appreciate the danger. And they often let their emotions, especially anger, completely rule their reactions.

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Step 2. Create a structure

Adolescents need structure in their lives and therefore the authority of their parents. This structure is not the effect of a lack of confidence, but rather of a biological fact that adolescents have not yet developed and which prevents them from making the right choices and foreseeing the consequences of their actions. As a parent, establish a daily routine with your child.Make sure he is part of this process, but that the end result matches his needs.

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Step 3. Make sure he gets enough sleep

Sleep is vital no matter what our age, but teens need 8-10 hours of sleep per night in order to be able to function perfectly. Ideally, your child should develop a regular routine, which will allow him to increase the quality of his sleep.

  • Sleep deprivation can slow down many abilities, such as one's ability to learn, listen, concentrate, and deal with problems. It can also cause you to forget things like forgetting a friend's phone number or the due date.
  • Lack of sleep can also cause health problems, such as acne. This can cause him to consume unbalanced foods such as coffee or sugar.
  • Not getting enough sleep can also affect their behavior and make them more irritable or angry faster than they normally would be. He may also be mean or rude to someone and later regret it.
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Step 4. Integrate it with the rest of the family

The anger a teenager feels can make them feel like their parents don't trust them. You need to make him feel understood and loved, and teach him the importance of family and community values.

  • Encourage him to participate in family events and to volunteer in his community.
  • Teach them to manage their finances responsibly.
  • Show him a good example by respecting others, their rights, but also their property.
  • Rather than telling him what you want from him, ask him directly. When you make new rules, include them in this process.
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Step 5. Communicate effectively with him

Adolescents need more than verbal abuse or reminders in order to understand what is expected of them. In addition to giving him verbal instructions, you can use the following tips.

  • Make eye contact with him when instructing him.
  • Ask him to repeat what you just told him.
  • Use short, simple sentences.
  • Give him the opportunity to answer you and ask questions.
  • Don't turn your instructions into a lesson.
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Step 6. Help him understand his responsibilities

Responsibility can be learned in different ways. Many teens can learn responsibility by learning from other responsible people (and imitating their behavior). But it is also a quality that can arise from mistakes and the consequences of irresponsible behavior. While it may sound cliché, the saying “with great power comes with great responsibility” is very true. Teens need to learn that power, privilege and responsibility are one. And the best example of this connection has to come from their parents.

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Step 7. Choose your fights

Adolescents, in general, are constantly changing. For example, your son may change his dress style. As a parent, it will sometimes be difficult for you to keep up with these changes, and there will be times when you will be shocked by the clothes they choose to wear. While you may be tempted to control her wardrobe, remember that you should save your fights for more important topics (like alcohol, drugs, curfew, etc.)

Another change teens experience concerns their mood. The majority of mood swings are caused by hormones and physical changes that boys experience at this age. In some cases, he will not be in full control of his emotions or reactions

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Step 8. Accept that his friends have more influence than you

During the teenage years, your son's friends will often have more influence over his actions and behavior than you have. This is not because he doesn't like or respect you, but simply because he tries to impose himself. Try not to take it personally and not get upset. Your anger towards him may cause him to move further away from you and vice versa. Even if he doesn't always show it, he still needs your support.

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Step 9. Enforce your rules

Teens are known to seek to test their limits, with their parents and those around them. Your son may therefore try to break some of your rules (for example by coming home after your curfew without warning you). It is important that you push him to play by your rules or he will continue to test your limits. It can also influence the way your child behaves outside of your family. You need to set a good example for him by teaching him the importance of rules and the fact that he must obey them.

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Step 10. Recognize the warning signs

A teenager's “normal behavior” is one thing, but some teens have an attitude that should put you on the hook. Watch out for signs of more serious problems and seek professional help as soon as possible.

  • Too extreme weight gain or loss.
  • Regular sleep problems.
  • Quick, drastic and permanent changes in his personality.
  • Sudden changes in his close friends.
  • Skipping school and dropping your grades.
  • Any reference (near or far) to suicide.
  • Signs that he smokes, drinks alcohol or uses drugs.
  • Having regular problems at school or with the police.

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