Losing a relationship is never an easy time, but it's even more difficult when it comes to your best friend. Whether your friendship ended because you got away from each other over time or because you hurt each other, you can start moving on by occupying your mind and doing new knowledge.
Method 1 of 4: Accept the situation
Step 1. Grieve your loss
Losing your best friend is always painful. But it will be even more so if you deny your emotions. Accept the disappointment and the pain you feel. Give yourself the right to mourn it.
Observe what you are feeling on a regular basis and express those feelings. If you need to cry, don't hold back. If you are feeling angry, find constructive ways to release that anger
Step 2. Find support
You are not going to get through this situation on your own. You need to find support from people who care about you and understand the consequences of your loss. Talk to your parents, siblings, or other friends (who don't know your best friend).
Try to open up about how you are feeling and ask for help. For example, you might find someone who is willing to listen to you or who is free to do an activity together and think about other things
Step 3. Find yourself an ending ritual
You may be able to move on by writing about your loss. Try to keep a journal about the situation. You can also write a letter to your friend that you will not send to him. It's a way of saying what's on your mind, especially if you find it hard to open up to others.
Once you're done, you might want to destroy the letter as a symbol of its place in your past
Step 4. Return your memories or hide them
If you have a lot of things that belong to your best friend, put them in a box and return them to him. Try to put in all the souvenirs and gifts, especially those that bring out negative emotions. You can take them out of the box later, but for now, put them aside to help you move on.
If you need support, ask your mother, a loved one, or a neutral person to help you get rid of it
Method 2 of 4: Handle special situations
Step 1. Be courteous if you need to see each other regularly
If you are going to continue to see each other, you must behave in a courteous manner. Make a commitment not to be childish when it comes to interacting. Remember that you cared about this person in the past (maybe you still do). At a minimum, pay tribute to your relationship by being polite when you meet.
- You are not going to be able to grieve by creating negative interactions or spreading rumors about it. Even if you hate each other now, you need to stay calm and avoid your mutual friends having to choose an edge.
- If your old best friend is looking for an argument, say, “I don't want to argue with you,” and walk away.
Step 2. Keep in touch if he has moved
If you've lost your best friend due to a move, you can still continue your friendship from a distance. Call him often, write him letters, and promise to make a video call once a week. Your friendship might be different now that you're apart, but you can still keep in touch.
- Be realistic about long distance friendships. Your friend might not be available as often as you would like. He's also likely to make new friends.
- If something goes wrong between the two of you, ask yourself if you want to keep in touch. Remember, you have to do what's best for you.
Step 3. Honor the memory of a deceased friend
If your best friend has passed away, you are probably feeling devastated. You may be able to get on with your life by going about your day-to-day chores. However, it can be helpful to remember the exceptional times you had together.
- When everyone is ready, chat with their parents and share your stories. Watch funny photos and videos that you have taken together.
- You could even write him a letter and read it aloud at his funeral. It will help you say what's on your mind so you can move on.
- Remember that this person will always be in your heart no matter what. Cherish your memories. You might even want to keep a photo of him (her) if that doesn't make you uncomfortable.
Method 3 of 4: Stay busy
Step 1. Take care of yourself
Make your well-being your priority after losing your best friend. Don't feel guilty about a little selfishness with your time and energy. Develop good habits that allow you to take care of yourself.
For example, try sleeping longer, exercising, getting a massage and watching your favorite movies
Step 2. Find a new hobby
The loss of your best friend has probably left a big hole in your day-to-day life. Use this free time to find a new hobby. Think about things you love to do before or always wanted to try and get started! You can choose almost anything.
Try writing, painting, dancing or cooking. You could also organize a camping trip with your family like you did when you were younger. You can also get involved in your community
Step 3. Redecorate your living space
Sometimes changes can be good. Obvious changes in your home can help you make the transition to a new chapter in your life. Recharge your batteries by changing the position of your furniture, hanging new curtains and putting new posters on the walls.
Step 4. Learn new skills
Is there a topic that interests you that you would like to explore? If so, take a class to learn something completely new. A new skill can be a great way to raise the bar and occupy your mind.
Maybe you always wanted to learn Spanish or Italian. You might like to improve your gardening skills. Whatever it is, find a course or read a book about the topic you want to master
Step 5. Volunteer
The service you render to your community can have a double effect after losing a best friend. They help you use your time constructively while giving you the opportunity to meet new people. Think about ways you would like to help members of your community. By volunteering, you can meet people who share the same interests as you.
Volunteering opportunities will depend on where you are. Talk to one of your teachers or a leader in your community to find out how you can help
Method 4 of 4: Make new friends
Step 1. Leave your home
If you want to make new friends, you're going to have to expose yourself. You can't expect to make new friends without putting some of your own, it takes effort. Join clubs or associations at school. Pick a new place in your community where people your age meet.
When you meet a new person, show them you're interested. Ask him questions about himself and try to find things that you have in common to bond. Don't talk to each other about your lost best friend. Instead, try to get to know this new person
Step 2. Be selective
To ensure healthy future friendships, you need to think about the types of people you want to spend your time with. If you and your best friend have distanced themselves, you might be wondering what you're looking for in a new best friend right now. Choose people with a positive influence or values similar to your own.
Make a list of positive characteristics you want in a friend. Be flexible with your list, but use it to see if your new friends match the description
Step 3. Become a best friend
In addition to choosing positive friends, you must also become a positive friend to others. Think about how you could have behaved around your ex-best friend to be a best friend yourself. As you build new relationships, try to develop better habits.
Good friends know how to listen, they allow their friends to be themselves, and they are there when their friends need them. Try to become a best friend now
Step 4. Consider deepening an existing relationship
You might not have considered it, but there might be someone among your current friends who could become your new best friend. Spend time with people you feel a real connection with to see what is going on.
- You might have a friend you are reviewing for your exams who you don't know well. For example, you could say to him after your studies, "Hey, how about going for a bite to eat?" It's me who invites! "
- You might get to know each other better by spending time alone outside of the context you usually meet.
Step 5. Don't try to replace your best friend
Don't rush a week after the breakup to find a new best friend. This kind of friendship takes time, as trust and mutual respect develop. Don't go looking for a new best friend. Instead, try to focus on your new friendships.