There are a lot of reasons why your best friends may behave more distantly with you lately. In order not to rush into negative assumptions, examine your relationships carefully. Observe the behavior of your friends, taking into account their motivations. At the end of the day, no matter what you discover, remember that it's best to invest your time and effort in real friendships.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Identify any communication problem
Step 1. Evaluate the response time to your texts or voicemail messages
Send your friends a few text or voicemail messages and see how long it takes them to respond. Remember that they may not receive a single text or message or think they don't need to reply to it. In this case, the main thing is to find a habit of not responding properly to your messages or not responding at all.
If they seem to be slow to respond to messages, it might be worth reconsidering reaching them in a personal emergency
Step 2. Check your friendship status online
Log on to various social media websites, like Instagram or Facebook, to see if your best friends have blocked you or stopped following you. You can also download an app like Who Deleted Me, to be notified when other people have deleted you from their friend lists.
- If everything seems to be going well, it may help to ask them if they've cleaned up their Facebook feed. They may have accidentally deleted your account.
- You can also tell if your friends have abandoned you on social media by finding out if they have stopped tagging you in pictures or messages.
Step 3. Ask them to be honest
Honesty is an important aspect in building trust and respect among friends. If you suspect that his people are lying to you, it is better to be open-minded until you have irrefutable proof. If you catch them in the act of lying, you can choose to say something right away or acknowledge their unworthiness.
As a friend, you will also have to be frank if you want them to be so honest with you. Try to avoid petty lies, as they are not always as harmless as they seem
Step 4. Pay attention to the way they support you
Try to talk to them as a group or individually about an issue that is close to your heart. Observe their body language to see if they seem to be listening to you, such as nodding or making small comments. See if they ask you questions or express concerns.
For example, all your interventions could be greeted with "hm hmm", even if they do not agree with you
Step 5. Be wary if they only call you with requests
They may have needed your help, but not necessarily your friendship. If so, ask yourself whether they have helped you as much as you have. Also, consider whether or not they are grateful when you step in.
Even though they are grateful to you when you help them out, it might still be an unbalanced friendship that they only call you when they need something
Method 2 of 3: Observe negative behaviors
Step 1. Research patterns of behavior
In all friendships there are good times and bad times. To avoid overreacting, consider the relationship as a whole and how many times you've had a bad or a rough time. If you feel constantly depressed or they are still negative, the best solution may be to separate yourself from them.
For example, you might notice that they were great until some of them got together. To spend more time with them, you will probably need to find suitable activities
Step 2. Pay attention to their schedule
Try to be a little flexible when planning with them and find out if they will find time for you. If they're still very busy and overwhelmed, it's going to be difficult to move the relationship forward. Be patient, but don't put your whole life on hold waiting for them.
- Note if they tend to be available only when it's convenient for them. For example, they might never be available when you want to do something with them, but suddenly available on days their others are busy.
- Truth be told, if they're in a relationship or have a new job, they may be figuring out how to manage their time.
Step 3. See if they always leave early
Instead of keeping you company in a restaurant or club, your friends now seem to be leaving as soon as possible. Another sign is that they always arrive late and leave early together. They may have other plans elsewhere.
Step 4. Pay attention to any new friendships
If your best friends talk about a new person all the time, they might just be trying to widen their social circle. Do your best not to be jealous. Instead, listen to them carefully. Do you feel like they're trying to replace you with that person or befriend you?
Step 5. Stop inviting them for a week
Keep answering their texts or calls, but don't bother creating new projects or scheduling meetings. See if any of them invite you out or suggest activities. Otherwise, chances are they won't be willing to sacrifice their efforts to maintain your friendship.
Method 3 of 3: Go ahead
Step 1. Cut the bridges
If you've found that your friends are really trying to give up on you, maybe it's time to end those relationships. You can cut down on the time you spend with them and limit text messages. If they're already avoiding you, it's usually a way of breaking up without dramatizing things.
Step 2. Face them
If you feel wronged by your friends or are concerned that there is a misunderstanding, you may want to have a discussion with them in a group or one-on-one. Tell them what you've noticed about their behavior lately. Ask them how they think the friends should act. Try to come up with a specific plan to improve the relationship, such as always responding to text messages throughout the day.
- This kind of conversation can be awkward. You could start by saying, “Everything is fine, I hope. It's a way of avoiding confrontation so that they start talking.
- Try to be understanding and not blame them for everything, otherwise they might become defensive and the conversation might be counterproductive.
- Speak about yourself in your words. For example, "I am" and "I think". Don't accuse them with phrases like "you always are" or "you never are." "
Step 3. Take the opportunity to form new friendships
Try to find new friends who share the same interests as you and who seem willing to date often. Don't hope to be someone new's best friend right away, but know that it might happen later.
Advice
- Remember that friendships often change over the years, and that's not always a bad thing.
- Friendships come and go. It's okay to end friendships and start new ones.
- Make sure you discuss the situation with your friend before you cut ties. Many conflicts arise from minor issues (for example, a boy or a small quarrel).