Confiding in someone that you have suicidal thoughts is very difficult, especially since suicide is frowned upon and considered taboo. However, it is important to talk to someone you trust to better deal with these thoughts and avoid having to take drastic action. Don't close in on yourself. Confide in a friend or close adult you trust or someone in authority, such as a mental health specialist, teacher or priest. Tell him frankly that you are having suicidal thoughts and agree to go to therapy or get help.
Part 1 of 3: Find someone to confide in
Step 1. Talk to a confidant
Get closer to a family member or friend. While it is important to talk to someone about your thoughts of suicide, it is not easy to do so. When choosing who to talk to, choose someone you can trust and who will calmly and empathize with whatever you say to them, without judging you. This could be a loved one, a family member, a colleague or a mental health specialist.
Some people will judge you systematically or advise you to "just control" your impulses, but they do not know what you are going through or how difficult it is to be in your situation. If someone tells you this, ignore them and confide in someone else
Step 2. Choose an adult you can trust
If you're still just a teenager, talk to an adult you trust. If you don't mind discussing it with your parents, know that this is without a doubt the best option you have, as they are the only ones in the world who would be willing to sacrifice everything to help you. Otherwise, get closer to an adult family member who you trust completely. It could be an aunt, a grandparent or an uncle. If you don't feel very close to your family, talk to an adult you trust and know, such as your school guidance counselor or a member of your religious community.
If you are a teenager, you will certainly be tempted to talk to a peer, you will tell yourself that they would understand you better. However, be aware that friends your age will not be able to effectively help you cope with this situation. Instead, talk to an adult you trust
Step 3. Call the suicide prevention service
Do this if you are about to commit suicide. This service is intended for people who have no one else to talk to about their suicidal urges or who are planning to kill themselves immediately. If you are seriously thinking about killing yourself in the next few minutes or hours and you have no one to discuss it with, call this service for help. Accept that you need help and be receptive to whatever the professional tells you.
- Call 1-833-456-4566 if you live in Canada. If you are in France, call 112 or Suicide Écoute on 01 45 39 40 00 to talk to professionals and get the help you need.
- If for some reason you cannot call a hotline, try to reach crisis assistance or text messaging services.
Part 2 of 3: Explaining Your Suicidal Thoughts
Step 1. Tell him / her that you want to chat with him (her)
Communication will be more effective if you let your confidant know in advance that you want to talk to them about a serious and personal matter. Say, “I want to talk to you about something very serious and personal. It is very important for me. Can we chat privately after dinner?"
If he or she refuses or doesn't seem to want to help, turn to someone else
Step 2. Tell her you are planning to kill yourself
This conversation is admittedly difficult, but now is not the time to beat around the bush, euphemistically, or speak in vague terms. Avoid saying something like 'I'm fed up' or 'I can't take it anymore'. Be pretty straightforward. Say, “It's hard for you to hear, but I often think about ending my own life. It is very difficult for me to resist this temptation. I would like to confide in you about these urges."
- Also tell him how you plan to kill yourself.
- You may be afraid of hurting his sensitivity, but know that you will hurt him and many others much more if you take your own life. It will be terrible for all your loved ones.
Step 3. Continue the conversation if he / she is shocked
Hearing that your child, friend or family member is having suicidal thoughts is surprising and very difficult to accept. Ideally, your confidant would support you and show empathy. However, there may be times when he is surprised or disappointed at first. This is not easily digestible news. If he reacts like that, don't stop confiding in him. Continue to explain to her what's going through your head and your impulses. Ask him what he thinks about it and discuss his feelings together if necessary.
If your confidant is surprised or dismayed, say, “I understand it's a lot to deal with all at once. If you want to take some time to digest the information, I'll understand, but I wish I could still discuss it with you in the future. "
Step 4. Let him help you
To be able to help you, your confidant may need to tell other people (for example, a mental health specialist) about your problem. During the conversation, let him know that you are happy to let him tell other people about it. Don't ask him to keep it to himself.
- Say, “If it's too much for you to handle and you want to talk to someone else, I'll understand. "
- You can also say, “If you want to discuss this with a therapist or counselor, I don't mind. "
Step 5. Write down your feelings
Do this if you don't feel comfortable expressing it verbally. It is extremely difficult and emotionally taxing to tell someone that you are considering killing yourself. If you think you can't do it, just write your thoughts down. Hand over what you have written to your confidant and, if possible, sit near him while he reads it.
For example, write your parents a letter. Start with phrases like, “Mom and Dad, I have a serious problem that I want to talk to you about, but I can't express it verbally, that's why I preferred to write it down. I often think about killing myself and I'm afraid of doing it. "
Part 3 of 3: Finding Resources for the Future
Step 1. Make a security plan
Work out this plan with the people you trust. A safety plan is a cohesive set of specific things you need to do whenever you are faced with this temptation. One of the first things to do as part of your prevention plan is to call your therapist or counselor. Also, make a list of friends and family you can call when you have these thoughts.
- Avoid being alone during these times. Regardless of the time of day, whether it's daytime or nighttime, if you are planning to end your life, make an effort to surround yourself with other people until that temptation is gone.
- Ask your friends and relatives if you can call them when you have these thoughts. Get their advice before you do so.
Step 2. Approach a psychiatrist or therapist
If you often have suicidal thoughts, especially if followed by depression, bipolar disorder, or any other mental problem, see a mental health specialist immediately. The therapist will help you think outside the box and develop healthier mental habits that will keep you from thinking about suicide as much as possible, and prescribe medication if necessary.
- Remember that going into therapy is not a “silver bullet” for the problem. It will take you months, if not years, to get rid of these thoughts completely and stop being suicidal.
- Thoughts of suicide are sometimes related to other illnesses or a medication you are taking, so give your therapist or psychiatrist all the information you need about your situation. He must know the diseases you are suffering from and the medications you are taking, and do not hide anything from him.
Step 3. Create a support system
This system should only be made up of friends and relatives whom you trust completely. It is an invaluable resource for dealing with these urges and avoiding suicidal behavior. It should be made up of people whom you absolutely trust and whom you can call at any time when you are faced with this urge. Your support system should include:
- parents and relatives;
- your counselor or therapist;
- members of your church or any other religious community;
- A support group of people with the same issues as you.
Step 4. Avoid self-medication
Self-medication is the abuse of drugs (illicit or prescription), alcohol or other substances to feel better and stop hurting. If you notice that you are starting to become addicted to one or more substances, seek help immediately. Talk to your doctor or therapist and let them know what's going on.
- Make a promise to yourself never to take action. Even the strongest suicidal urges are only temporary. Be patient and they will go away over time.
- If you're worried that a mental promise isn't enough to bind you and keep you from taking your life, put your thoughts in writing. Get yourself a notepad and write, “I promise not to do anything bad this week. »Post this in a place in your home where you can see it easily and at all times.