Making friends in high school isn't always easy, as it's a time consuming process. However, if you want to find and make new friends, there are some strategies you can adopt that will help you expand your circle of friends.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: meet new people
Step 1. Join a club
If you want to make new friends, you'll need to start by finding new people to befriend.
- Clubs are a great way, as they provide a structured environment in which you can interact and express yourself with people with whom you already have something in common.
- Depending on your interests, you can join a professional group, language group, playgroup, literary magazine, etc.
Step 2. Join an academic or sports team
Being a member of a team gives you many opportunities to exchange and discuss with the same people.
- If you are unsure of your athletic ability then try joining a recreational league, as this kind of club is more informal and less competitive.
- If you have athletic ability, look for a sports team where that ability will be most emphasized. If you are a good runner for example, it is best if you join a football, lacrosse or crosscountry team.
- If your skills are more academic than physical, then join a debate team, such as the United Nations or similar body.
Step 3. Take electives
Optional courses are another great opportunity to be able to collaborate with people with whom you share a particular interest.
- Options like journalism, high school directory section, and drama offer the chance to meet new people as you collaborate to deliver tangible results.
- Several electives also require you to stay in school, which at first glance doesn't seem like too much of a good choice, but staying in school after class with a group of people allows you to get to know each other. them in a relaxed atmosphere, away from the daily monotony of school and having a good fellowship.
Step 4. Volunteer or find a job
Working and being a volunteer at the same time constitutes an added value for your Curriculum Vitae and for your social group.
- Volunteering can be a great way to meet people from different backgrounds and of all ages. Look for local volunteer clubs on campus or try the different volunteer organizations in your area.
- The job will give you the ability to chat frequently with people with minimal pressure, which can be very successful if you have difficulty approaching people. Find a job where you will collaborate and chat with a large number of people and avoid jobs where you will always be isolated or alone.
Step 5. Attend a social event
It may seem obvious, but social events are designed to bring people together.
- Party events, dance events, city center events and gatherings can all offer you the chance to meet new people in a more conducive social environment.
- If you are shy, try to find another person or acquaintance by your side. Looking relaxed and smiling can help you feel more comfortable and less alone.
Step 6. Be an approachable person
Being expressionless, concerned, or frustrated will prevent people from approaching you. Plus, if you want to make new friends, you need to be as affordable as possible.
- Smile. Giving a friendly smile will make you more social, make people more comfortable, and encourage them to chat with you more.
- If you find it difficult to chat easily with people who are foreign to you, you may consciously make the effort to be open and friendly rather than closed in on yourself.
Step 7. Start with the people you already know
Connect with people you already know and try to connect more with them.
- Look for opportunities to chat with your acquaintances and learn more about them, as well as what they like. If all goes well and you manage to gain their trust, invite them to do something with you outside of school, it will help you develop a more friendly relationship.
- Ask people you know to introduce yourself to other people. If you know someone who is in a different group or who is involved in an activity that you are interested in, ask them to invite you.
Step 8. Use social networks
Different dating groups exist online and you can be part of this new group of people depending on your interests.
- However, it is important to note that these groups are only useful if they are oriented towards physical and real encounters.
- Don't try to make friends by just using Facebook or Instagram. That's not to say that people don't make friends through these social networks, but these kinds of relationships tend to not work out until you meet physically. Additionally, some people are reluctant to have a stranger approach them online saying he would like them to be friends.
- However, it is recommended that you allow someone who would like to sympathize with you on a social network. If after you've chatted, you feel good around them, ask them to add you to their friend list or follow you on Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, and more.
Part 2 of 3: Introducing yourself to new people
Step 1. Pick your moment
Approaching someone at the wrong time can sabotage your chances before you even start chatting with them.
- Don't try to start a conversation at the wrong time. For example, exchanges in the middle of an interrogation or when the person is distracted by other things that seem to distract their attention.
- Understand that some people don't like to talk in certain situations. There are some who don't like to trade when they are on the bus or when cleaning the coffee tables. If you notice that they are not inclined to strike up a conversation with you, then let it go.
Step 2. Ask questions
The adage that people like to talk about themselves is very true. Questions are also a great way to break the ice.
- If you are unsure of where to start a discussion with someone, it is recommended that you start with questions like "what homework do you have?" "Or" who teaches you biology? "
- A great way to connect with someone is to ask them questions that are relevant to them - ask them about their favorite hobbies, family, pets, etc. If he talks to you about something he has done or achieved, ask him how and why it got there.
Step 3. Listen carefully
The key to getting to know someone is to listen carefully to what they are saying.
- Prove to the person you're chatting with that you give them your undivided attention by squinting, nodding, and making little comments here and there to show you're following the flow of the conversation.
- Since you are the one asking the other person questions, listen carefully to their answers to see if they are more interested or passionate about the topic. If you find that the answer to a question is not as straightforward as you hoped, don't ask more about it, move on to another topic instead. Once you find a topic that the person you are chatting with seems to be more interested or more interested in telling you, then ask the questions and use a lot of imagination and attention to keep the conversation going.
Step 4. Observe his body language
People feel more comfortable observing their body language in subtle ways. Don't make gestures with every move, just adopt similar postures in a subtle way.
- If she leans forward, do the same. If she sits cross-legged, cross yours as well.
- If the other person is reluctant to discuss or seems withdrawn (i.e., hands crossed, legs crossed while standing, or hands in pocket), do not do the same. Instead, understand this as a sign of uncomfortableness. Use open body language (lean forward if seated, arms next to palms, shoulders back, legs slightly apart, and feet in front of the other person if they are standing) and try to redirect the conversation to something that elicits a more positive response.
Step 5. Relax
If you're nervous you put the other in the same state as well, something most people don't like.
- Don't worry. Practice stilling the voice in your head so that you are not told "you were very weird earlier" or "they will just laugh at you". Know that this is only the path of insecurity and it does not earn you anything in the end.
- Breathe. When you are nervous, you tend to hold your breath or breathe quickly, which increases your nervousness. To calm yourself down, it is recommended that you take a deep breath before approaching the person you want to chat with, and remember that you need to stay calm throughout the conversation.
Step 6. Avoid talking too much
Talking about yourself a lot can be off-putting.
- Don't tell other people the whole story of your life. Not only will they not take enough time to listen to you, but people also tend to view those who talk too much about themselves as weak or self-centered.
- When you've just got to know someone, it's best that you don't talk about details about yourself early on. Don't talk about details that might make the conversation awkward. These are things like your cousin in prison or your sister used to eating paper napkins.
Part 3 of 3: Establish New Friendship Relationships
Step 1. Engage in structured activities
Since you've just got to know someone, it's a good idea to start with structured activities that will liven up the one-on-one conversation.
- When it comes to structured activities, the good options are: going to the cinema, watching a movie, playing a game or participating in a sporting event. That way, you both have a topic you can focus on and discuss, and you don't have to make the whole conversation focus on you.
- Once you feel comfortable, you can move on to structured, but more interactive activities like basketball, golf, snowboarding, ice skating, or going to the museum.
Step 2. Be patient
Making friends takes a bit of time, so don't try to force or rush things, just be patient and persevering.
- If you have a feeling that someone doesn't want to be your friend, or if they keep apologizing to you, then don't push, just let them go. If you put pressure on him, you could become his enemy.
- If you're trying to get to know someone and things don't go as planned, then don't give up. You can't get along with everyone you meet, and some people just don't like making good friends. If they don't want a friendship relationship, don't take it for a personal reason to the point that it frustrates you. There can be a number of reasons related to this that is not even directly related to you.
- If you seem to be ignored by everyone you meet, then reconsider the way you presented yourself. You might have said something discourteous or said something very inappropriate. It is recommended that you talk to a trustworthy family member to find out what you could do to be seen and appreciated differently.
Step 3. Be calm and courteous
Whether or not you are willing to spend time, don't react in an irritated way.
- If the person approves of spending time with you, going out, smiling, saying something positive, it can seem rushed or very creepy to the point where you might doubt their real intentions.
- If she declines your invitation, don't panic, just say something like, "It's great, it was a pleasure to have talked to you" and you can walk away after that. Don't get angry or look frustrated, just take it sportingly.
Step 4. Be positive
Don't get me wrong or say you'll never make friends.
- It's a good thing that you notice something is wrong, especially when someone doesn't seem to respond favorably to your advances. Obviously it hurts and can be seen as rejection, but don't dwell on it. Recognize this and seek to move forward.
- Keep in mind that you won't be able to be friends with everyone, and in the same way, you won't want to be friends with everyone either. This person could be a useless friend or someone very unsavory and you might have escaped this.
Advice
- Be available by giving your time. Making friends is often a difficult and tedious process. You won't be able to be friends with everyone you meet, and not everyone deserves to be chased as a friend. Don't be discouraged if you don't instantly become best friends, because a true friendship takes time.
- Don't beat yourself up. If you're having trouble making new friends, or it's taking longer than you expected, don't blame yourself. If you do this by calling yourself a loser, it will reflect in your behaviors and the way you present yourself. People are drawn to people who are self-confident and comfortable with (or at least appear to be). So stay optimistic and Remember all the great qualities you have to offer.
- Be demanding. When looking for new friends, it can be tempting to accept everyone and at the same time those who seem receptive. However, don't get carried away, if someone gives you the wrong impression that is, they seem too negative, abusive or manipulative in some way it's best that you keep your distance. and you walk away from it. Bad friends are more dangerous than enemies.