According to an old country song "It's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way." Of course, not many people consider themselves perfect in every way. Still, being humble remains very difficult, especially in societies that encourage competition and individualism. Yet even in such cultures humility remains an important virtue. Learning to be humble is of paramount importance in most spiritual traditions. Humility can help you develop and enjoy rich relationships with others.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: accept your limits
Step 1. Accept that you are not the best at everything (or maybe even at nothing)
No matter what your talents, there is almost always someone who can do something better than you. Look at which ones are doing better and see how you can improve.
- Even if you are truly the best at a certain area, there will always be such and such a thing that you don't know how to do or that you may never be able to do.
- Recognizing your limits doesn't mean giving up on your dreams or giving up on learning new things or even improving your abilities.
Step 2. Acknowledge your own mistakes
We judge others because it is much easier than analyzing yourself. However, this is not only counterproductive, but it can also become harmful. Indeed, judging others leads to relationship conflicts and prevents the formation of new relationships. Worse yet, it keeps us from trying to improve ourselves.
- We are constantly judging others, often without even realizing it. Try doing the following exercise: Any time you find yourself judging someone or a group of people, carry that judgment back to yourself and see how you can improve yourself.
- Try to correct your flaws. Remember that development and improvement are continuous processes.
Step 3. Know how to appreciate what you have
Suppose you graduated from a prestigious university and ended up in the top of your class, of course you deserve congratulations on your hard work and persistence. However, there is certainly another person as smart and hardworking as you, except that they haven't been fortunate enough to have parents like yours to support them, grew up in an unfavorable environment, or just made a mistake. bad choice in his life. You could have been in his place.
- Always remember that a bad choice yesterday could have turned your whole life upside down. Likewise, the right choices today can make a difference in your life.
- While you have no doubt worked hard to get what you have, don't think that everything is “won” and that you have a right to brag about your accomplishments.
Step 4. Never be afraid to make mistakes
Being humble means knowing that you are going to make mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. Understand this and you will have shed a very heavy burden. Each individual possesses only a tiny part of the immense knowledge accumulated over the centuries.
In addition, our experience is only a bridle of the present and we know almost nothing about the future
Step 5. When you make mistakes, admit them
Not being afraid to make mistakes is good, but admitting the ones you have made is even better. Whether you made a mistake as a boss, a relative or a friend, people will appreciate the fact that you are willing to admit that you are not perfect and are working to make the situation better. Admitting your mistakes shows that you are not stubborn, selfish, and that you don't think you are perfect.
Admitting your mistakes will earn you the respect of others whether it is your own children or your co-workers
Step 6. Avoid bragging
Don't brag about your accomplishments. If you are that great, people will recognize your efforts and congratulate you on their own. No need to talk about your super raise at work, the awesome piece of art you just completed, or the last marathon you ran. That's right, these things are awesome. But bragging about it will just make you appear self-centered and have a lot less impact than letting people see for themselves that you are great.
That doesn't mean you have to lie about your accomplishments. If someone asks you if you've ever run a marathon, say yes, but don't make a big deal out of it
Step 7. Be courteous in your conversations
Modest people are not flower pots. Being modest doesn't mean you don't have self-esteem. A humble person takes others into consideration during conversations and does not interrupt or disparage others. You need to recognize that everyone, including you, has goals and dreams, and the desire to talk about their accomplishments and give their opinion.
Step 8. Don't take all the credit for yourself
Okay, you cooked a succulent dish or completed a complicated project at work, but did you really do it all on your own? If so, good for you, but there's a good chance someone else has been instrumental in your success. So if someone congratulates you, say, “I couldn't have done it without…. Or "… helped me a lot". Don't ramble on how hard you worked on your own to complete this task.
Share the love. There is nothing more proud than taking all the credit for something you haven't done
Part 2 of 3: Appreciate Others
Step 1. Appreciate the talents and qualities of others
Look beyond yourself to discover people and the things they are capable of or to simply appreciate them for who they really are. Realize that people are different from each other and relish the idea of being around different people. You will always have your own tastes, things you love, things you hate, but learn to separate your opinions from your fears to better appreciate others. It will make you more humble.
Being able to appreciate the talents and qualities of others can also show you qualities that you want to improve or possess
Step 2. Stop comparing yourself to others
It is virtually impossible to be humble when striving to be "the best" or to do better than others. Rather, try to approach things more objectively. For example, instead of saying that Tele is the best guitarist ever, say what exactly you like about him or simply like the way he plays. Stop making simplistic comparisons and you'll be able to do things and enjoy them without worrying about whether you are better or worse than someone else.
Each individual is unique. This makes it difficult to say who really is "the best" in a particular field
Step 3. Don't be afraid to trust the judgment of others
It's easy to recognize that you make mistakes and that you're not always right. It is more difficult, however, to recognize that in many cases others (including those who disagree with you) may be right. Giving in to the wishes of your spouse, to a law that you do not approve of or even, sometimes, in the opinion of your child, gives a whole new dimension to the realization of your limits.
Instead of just saying you know you are fallible, act on it. Of course, if you know for a fact that a certain course of action is wrong, you are not going to follow it. But on closer inspection, you might find that you're not always so sure
Step 4. Consult the sacred texts
This is another way to appreciate others. Study moral standards and sayings about humility. Pray for humility and meditate on this quality. Do whatever it takes to not be egotistical. You can read biographies, memoirs, the Bible, documentaries on how to improve your life, or anything else that will help you be more humble and appreciate what others have to offer.
If you are not a religious person, turn to scientific thought. Science demands humility. It involves letting go of your preconceptions and prejudices and accepting the limits of your knowledge
Step 5. Stay Ready to Learn
Find people who inspire you in a particular field and who you would like to be like. Ask them to mentor you. Confidentiality, good judgment and a good definition of boundaries are necessary elements for tutoring. As soon as you feel that you are no longer "willing to learn," come back to earth. There is always something to learn in life.
Taking classes in a field where you don't know anything like pottery or scriptwriting can make you more humble. You are going to let others teach you
Step 6. Help others
Being humble means respecting others. One way to respect them is to help them. See others as being on the same level as you and help them because it is the right thing to do. It has been said that if you help someone who cannot do your good deed back to you, then you have learned humility. Helping those in need will make you appreciate what you have even more and make you less proud.
Of course, you shouldn't brag about your volunteering either
Step 7. Go last
If you are in line with friends, need to pick up gifts or help yourself to food, do so last. Let your friends, relatives, the elderly or even complete strangers come before you and don't rush to meet your own needs just yet. It's best to let others help themselves, sit down, and wait your turn.
Ask yourself, “Do I really need to be the first to do this? The answer will always be no
Step 8. Compliment others
Compliment a loved one or even someone you barely know, just for fun. Tell your girlfriend how beautiful she is today, congratulate your coworker on her new haircut, or tell the cashier that you love her earrings. You can go deeper and praise someone for a beautiful aspect of their personality. Give at least one compliment a day and you'll see other people's strengths even more.
Focus on the good points of others, not their flaws
Step 9. Apologize
If you've made a mistake, admit it immediately and admit your wrongs. While it does cost to ask someone for forgiveness, you have to swallow your pride and say that you are sorry for the harm you have caused. It will show the person that they are valuable to you and that you admit your mistake. Swallowing your pride and saying you're sorry is also a way to show that you really regret your actions.
- Make eye contact when asking for forgiveness to show that you are genuine.
- Don't do it again. Apologizing doesn't give you the right to do the same thing again.
Step 10. Listen more than you speak
This is another great way to appreciate others and be more humble. On your next conversation, let the other person do the talking, don't interrupt, and ask questions to keep them talking. Of course, you have to contribute to the conversation, but get in the habit of letting others speak more than you do so you don't give the impression that there is only what's going on in your room. life that interests you.
Don't just nod your head and say “uh-uh”. Prove that you are really listening. Ask questions to show you understand what the person is talking about. Don't just wait for her to finish speaking thinking it will finally be your turn
Part 3 of 3: Rediscovering the feeling of wonder
Step 1. Rekindle your sense of wonder
Because we as humans ignore a lot, it would make sense to expect us to be in awe more often. Children, on the other hand, have this sense of wonder which stimulates their curiosity and makes them very good observers, able to learn very quickly. Do you really know how your microwave works? Can you build one yourself? What about your car? From your brain? From a rose?
The jaded “I've seen it all, I know it all” attitude makes us much more important than what we actually have. Let yourself be surprised as a child and you will not only be humble, but also more willing to learn
Step 2. Be gentle
Gentleness of mind is the way to humility. In the event of a conflict, use aikido if possible, that is, absorb the venom of the attacks of others and react with gentleness and respect. Being gentle will help you rediscover your sense of wonder and focus on the positive aspects of life.
Step 3. Spend more time in nature
Take a walk in the park. Stand near a waterfall. Look at the world from the top of a mountain. Go on a long hike. Swim in an ocean. Find a way to enjoy nature and take the time to truly appreciate it. Close your eyes and feel the breeze on your face. You will feel very small in front of nature. Your wonder will grow as will your respect for all those things that were there long before you and will be there long after.
Spending more time in nature will show you how grand and complex the world is and remind you that you are not its center
Step 4. Do yoga
Yoga is the practice of recognition and love. It will help you develop your wonder at your breathing, your body and for the love and goodness of the world around you. Yoga makes you aware of the brevity of your earthly life, helping you to appreciate it even more. Make a habit of doing yoga at least twice a week and enjoy its emotional and physical benefits.
Yoga is about being humble. You can't brag about how you've achieved a new yoga pose - the idea is to do everything at your own pace
Step 5. Spend time with children
Children have a sense of wonder which is difficult for an adult to reproduce. Spend more time with them and see how they enjoy the world, constantly asking questions, and rejoicing over little things. For a child, a flower or a roll of toilet paper can be the most extraordinary thing in the world, at least for an afternoon.
Spending more time with the children will remind you of how magical the world is
Advice
- Be loving and caring at all times, you never know when someone will need you.
- Learn to admit you're wrong and don't let your pride justify your actions.
- Remember that being humble has many benefits. Humility gives you a sense of satisfaction, helps you cope with difficult times, and improves your relationships with others. This quality is also essential for effective learning. If you think you already know it all, you will never be open-minded enough to seek out new knowledge. Humility is not based on intuition. This is a great tool for self-development in general. After all, if you feel like you're superior to others, you won't have any desire to improve yourself. Above all, being humble allows you to be honest with yourself.
- Ask questions when you don't know, when you know a little, and even when you think you know everything.
- It's okay to talk about yourself once in a while, but make a conscious effort to ask questions of others as well. It is also important to listen carefully when you are spoken to or answered.
- Never brag about the things you have. Give first and you will receive.
- Be kind and considerate. Help others and let them know that you will always be there for them.
- Look for wise and trustworthy advice. If you think this is something you need to work on, find friends who will empower you. "Before the collapse, there is pride" and prevention is better than cure.
- Appreciate your talents. Being humble doesn't mean you can't feel good about yourself. Self-esteem is not pride. Although both come from a recognition of your talents and qualities, pride, that inclination towards arrogance, comes from a lack of self-confidence. Think about your abilities and be grateful that you have them.
- Do not hesitate to help people, especially the poor, the weak, etc.
- Living selflessly brings more satisfaction than living selfish.
- Before you think about yourself, think about others. Think about who would need you before you think about who you would need.
Warnings
- Likewise, do not confuse humility with sycophancy (flattering someone excessively for a self-serving purpose). The two are often confused, but they are in fact completely different.
- Being humble is not the same as pretending to be humble. Often times, those who pretend are actually seeking praise. Others will find out, and even if you manage to fool a few, you will never reap the same benefits as true humility.
- While humility is a good thing, don't go overboard. Don't become a hypocrite. Remember, it's all in moderation.