4 ways to show maturity

Maturity is not a question of age. There are reasonable people who are only six years old and others who are childish despite their eighty years. In reality, it is about the way you think and behave towards yourself and others. So, if arguments and childish conversations tire you, and you want those around you to show you more respect, try the methods below to learn how to be more mature. Whatever your age, when you behave correctly, you will impose your adult status on those around you.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Behave with maturity

Step 1. Develop your interests

You will look childish if you lack dynamism or do not indulge in some leisure activity. Practice with excellence an activity that you love. Thus, you will give the impression of being more experienced and wiser. You will also have a topic of conversation with your comrades, whether they practice your activity or not.

Try to be active and creative in your spare time. It's great fun watching a TV show all in one go, but it doesn't have to be the best way to spend your time. This doesn't mean that you have to stop enjoying movies, TV, and video games, just consider making time for other things.
A hobby can stimulate your creativity and increase your self-esteem. It can also excite your nerve centers which cause the feeling of happiness and satisfaction.
There really is no limit to what you can do! Buy a camera and take some photography. Learn to play a musical instrument. Practice a foreign language. Learn "multivocalism" (beatbox). Create a life-size role-play group. Just be sure to choose an activity that you enjoy, otherwise your exercise will quickly turn into a chore.

Step 2. Set goals and work to accomplish them

Being mature also means being able to assess your strengths, identify your weaknesses and set goals for the future. Look to the future and let it inform your choices in existence. Once you have defined clear, achievable and measurable goals, all you have to do is take the appropriate steps to achieve them.

Setting goals may seem difficult, but don't worry! You will only need a little time and planning. First, identify what you want to improve. For example, you want to refine your resume in preparation for enrolling in college. This is a starting point for defining your goals.
Start by looking at some questions. Who ? What ? When ? Where ? How? 'Or' What ? Why ?
Who ? These are the people who will be involved in achieving your goals. Obviously, you are the first to be affected. However, a tutor, volunteer coordinator or counselor may also be involved in the process.
What ? What are you looking to accomplish? At this point, precision is essential. “Getting ready for college” is too broad a goal. It's best not to start with a goal like this. Instead, choose intermediate goals that will help you achieve your main goal, such as “volunteering” and “participating in an extracurricular activity”.
When ? It is about defining a timeline for the execution of the phases of your plan. This timeline will help you stay on track. For example, if you want to volunteer, you need to know the deadline for submitting applications, the nature of the activities and your period of availability.
Where ? It is often helpful to know where you will be working towards achieving your goal. For the example of volunteering, you may decide to go to an animal shelter.
How? 'Or' What ? In this step, it is about determining how to achieve each intermediate goal to reach your main goal. For example, how will you bond with the animal shelter? How would you get to this refuge? How will you divide your time between your volunteering and your other tasks? You will need to answer these questions.
Why ? Believe it or not, this is probably the most important part of the process. You will achieve your goal more easily if you make sense of it and if you can integrate it into your overall vision. Determine why your goal is important. For example, "I want to volunteer at an animal shelter to enrich my resume and prepare for university preselection exams."

Step 3. Know when it is possible to be funny

To be mature, it is not necessary to behave seriously all the time. Real maturity is knowing your surroundings and determining whether it is appropriate to be funny or not. It is best to set different limits and adjust your behavior according to the situation.

Try to set aside some of your time for fun. You need to let off steam and be crazy. Set aside some time each day, say after school, to indulge in crazy weirdos.
Try to understand that ridicule is generally not appropriate in formal places, such as school, church, the workplace, or especially at funerals. You are supposed to be attentive and refrain from bothering those around you. In these situations, stupidity will usually be equated with immaturity.
However, in other situations, like hanging out with friends or even family, you can afford to be funny. Your behavior can even help you strengthen your bonds with those close to you.
Establish criteria for determining when you can make jokes. Don't be mean, humiliate or play tricks on other people.

Step 4. Respect others

We are all obliged to live together on earth. If you intentionally annoy others, or if you do whatever you want without considering the feelings of others, you will undoubtedly be immaturity. By respecting those around you, you will prove that you are a responsible and respectful person.

Respecting others doesn't mean you have to let everyone else trample on you. Rather, it's about listening to others and treating them the way you would like to be treated yourself. If the person you're talking to is rude or derogatory, don't react badly. Just end the conversation to show her that you are above pettiness

Step 5. Choose responsible friends

Your friends can influence your behavior. Be sure to hang out with people who will help you improve, rather than wasting your time with those who only think about demoralizing you.

Method 2 of 4: Develop emotional maturity

Step 1. Don't be a bully

Often bullying behaviors have their origins in feelings of insecurity or a lack of self-esteem. Perhaps this is a way for some to impose their will on others. Bullying is bad for both the user and the person being bullied. If you are prone to bullying, try to resolve your issue by talking about the issue with someone you trust, such as a parent or school counselor.

Bullying can take three basic forms. It is either verbal, social or physical.
Verbal bullying includes name calling, threats and hurtful comments. If the words do not cause physical harm, they can cause deep injury. Be careful with your words and avoid saying words to someone you wouldn't want to be said about you.
Social bullying is about damaging someone's reputation or their relationships. It comes in many forms, such as avoiding others, spreading rumors or gossip, or humiliating others.
Physical bullying often involves hurting someone or damaging something. Generally speaking, physical violence falls within the scope of physical intimidation. Therefore, you are intimidating someone physically if you do anything rude. This is also the case when you take his property by force or destroy it.
Do not allow acts of bullying in your presence. You don't have to physically oppose a bully. In fact, it can be really dangerous. However, there are many ways to secure your environment. You can try the following actions:
- set a good example by avoiding intimidating others,
- tell someone irresponsible that their attitude is neither funny nor pleasant,
- show sympathy to the victims,
- tell an adult about bullying.
If you feel you have a bullying problem, consider discussing it with a counselor or therapist. You may have more serious problems that cause you to pick on those around you. A counselor can help you improve your relationships with others.

Step 2. Avoid peddling gossip or rumors

You should also refrain from talking about others behind their backs. These are behaviors that can hurt them like a point in the face. Even unintentional backbiting can do a lot of harm. Responsible people pay attention to the needs and feelings of others and avoid doing hurtful acts.

Spreading gossip will not make you more interesting or more famous. Studies have shown that you may be more popular if you spread gossip when you are in fifth grade. But in ninth grade, when you're wiser, spreading false rumors is usually punishable.
Don't encourage gossip either. If someone is gossiping around you, don't let them. Research has shown that in such a case, even if one person says "hey, I don't agree with your nonsense", the situation can change completely.
Sometimes you can say a kindness about someone, but others can misunderstand it. Suppose you tell a friend something like, “I really like dating Zoe. She is so funny! Unfortunately, someone else is twisting your words by claiming you said nastiness. You cannot control the way people interpret or respond to what you say. You can only control what you say and do yourself. So make sure your words are kind.
To differentiate between gossip and kind words, ask yourself if you are okay with having those words said about you. If the answer is no, keep your words to yourself.

Step 3. Know what to do if someone is not nice to you

If you can, don't answer and your silence will reflect your displeasure. Otherwise, just tell the other person that their words were offensive. If the person offers you an apology, accept it. Otherwise, just walk away.

Step 4. Keep an Open Mind

Responsible people are like that. Just because you haven't known or tried something doesn't mean you should ignore it or deny it exists. Instead, tell yourself that it's an opportunity to learn something new or to meet someone different.

If someone's beliefs or habits are different from yours, refrain from passing judgment immediately. Instead, ask questions and ask the other person to tell you more about the topic or justify their attitude.
Try to talk less and listen more, at least at first. Do not interrupt the person you are talking to, for example by saying “but, I think”. Instead, let him do the talking. You will be amazed at what you learn.
Ask for clarification. If someone says or does something wrong, encourage them to provide you with clarification before passing judgment. For example, if you think someone has insulted your beliefs, take a deep breath before saying, “You said… Is that true? If he retracts, accept his explanations.
Don't expect the worst from others. In your relationships, expect everyone to be okay, just like you. Your classmates probably don't want to be mean or hurtful, but they can also be wrong. Learn to accept people for who they are and you will be on your way to becoming more responsible.
Sometimes you just can't agree with the other person. It's normal. Sometimes you just have to defend your point of view. It is also showing maturity.

Step 5. Be confident in yourself

Don't apologize for your quirks or quirks, even if others don't like them. You are free to express your individuality as long as your behavior is not anti-social or dangerous. Responsible people do not anticipate their reactions and do not try to be what they are not.

Engage in leisure activities and develop the skills you already master, in order to build your self-confidence. You will learn that you are capable of achieving anything you want and that you have an array of skills that you can share with your fellow students.
Watch your inner voice. If you have negative thoughts about yourself, ask yourself if you can confess them to a friend. If you can't do it, why are you breaking your head? Try to rephrase these negative thoughts in a helpful way.
For example, you can say to yourself the following thing: "I am constantly among the losers!" I paddle in mathematics and I will never make any progress”. This thought is not heartwarming at all and you are definitely not going to share it with a friend.
Reformulate your thinking to determine a remedy for your problem. Here's an example: “I'm not very good at math, but I can try harder. Even if I don't get an A in class, I will at least know that I did my best”.

Step 6. Be yourself

A mark of real maturity is to be sincere. You can be confident without being arrogant or pompous. A wise person does not try to demoralize others or to lie in order to be worthy of themselves.

Talk about the things that really interest you. When you take care of something, you will play the role.
When you have negative thoughts about yourself, you may be tempted to ignore them. Suppose you are worried about your exam next week, your first reaction would be to say to yourself, “I'm not afraid of anything,” but you know deep down that this is not true. It's more reasonable to admit your worry and weakness. Everyone can lack self-confidence at one time or another. This is perfectly normal.
Express your feelings clearly. If you want to deal with your emotions and appear wiser, avoid beating around the bush or being passive and aggressive. Be polite and respectful, but don't be afraid to say what you really mean.
Act according to your conscience. Sometimes others can criticize you or laugh at you, if you do. However, if you stick to your standards, you'll know you've been true to yourself. If your classmates are laughing at you, you really don't need their opinion anymore.

Step 7. Accept your personal responsibility

This is perhaps the most important point to apply in order to reach maturity. You must accept responsibility for your own words and actions. Remember that you are not the only person affected by the events. Indeed, you are only an actor in your own life. Therefore, your words and actions have consequences both for yourself and for others. Admit that you can make mistakes. Also recognize that you cannot control the actions of others.

Accept your responsibility when the going gets tough. Suppose you failed an essay, don't blame your teacher. Think about what you did to get a bad result. What can you improve next time?
Don't give too much importance to whether something is right or not. Things aren't always fair in life and sometimes you don't get what you deserve. Responsible people do not allow injustice to stand in their way.
Control what you can. Sometimes you feel like you are not in control of your existence. This is true, but only in part. You can't force the manager of the local restaurant to hire you or make your friend go out with you. But there are things you can control. Here are some examples.
- For employment, you can proofread and refine your resume. You can also prepare thoroughly for the job interview, dress neatly for the interview, and show up on time. Despite your best efforts, you might not get the job, but at least you will know that you have done everything you can to be successful.
- Regarding your relationships: you can be respectful, funny and caring. You can also be sincere with the other person, take the first step and tell them that you would like to have a relationship. These are things that you control. Even if you don't succeed, you will have peace of mind because you have been true to yourself and you have shown yourself in your best light.
Do not accept defeat. Most of the time people give up because they don't dare to try again. It is much easier to think, "I am a loser". Still, it's much better to say to yourself, "This approach hasn't worked well, but I'll see if there is anything else I can do to make it happen!" Therefore, accept the consequences of your choices and persevere until you are satisfied.

Method 3 of 4: Communicate like an adult

Step 1. Control your emotions

Anger is a powerful emotion, but it can be controlled. Avoid overreacting to little things that don't matter. Instead of getting angry, take ten seconds to think things through before you do or say anything. This will prevent you from committing regrettable acts and help you communicate better.

Use this break to really understand the situation you find yourself in. What is the real problem? Why are you angry? You may find that you are really angry about something that happened two days ago and not about the immediate tidying up of your room.
Think about finding solutions to your problem. Consider the possible reactions before choosing one. What is the right solution?
Think about the consequences. At this point, several people are at risk of tripping. Often times, the most attractive solution is to think that you can do whatever you want. But would you be able to fix the problem as well? Or will you make it worse? Think about the consequences of each option.
Pick a solution. After considering the possible consequences, choose the solution that works best for you. Note that it won't always be the easiest or the most fun! It is simply part of the process you must take to strengthen your maturity.
If you must speak up, speak calmly and make reasonable arguments to support your point. If the other person does not want to understand anything, stop the discussion and leave to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Breathe deeply and count to ten when you are nervous or about to overreact. You need to control yourself and not give in to anger.
If you get carried away easily, people can take the opportunity to provoke you. But, if you know how to keep your cool, they will leave you alone because they know their attempt will not end.

Step 2. Learn assertiveness-based communication techniques

These techniques are used by adults when they want to communicate reasonably. Don't confuse assertiveness with arrogance, arrogance, or aggression. Assertive people clearly express their feelings and needs. In addition, they listen attentively to others when they speak. Arrogant and selfish people do not care about the needs of others. They only seek to get what they want, when they want, regardless of the misfortune of others. Learn to defend your interests without being arrogant or aggressive and you will certainly be wiser. Here are some suggestions on how to communicate confidently.

Express yourself in the first person singular i. By using sentences containing the personal pronoun you or you, you will seem to blame the other person and the latter will be tempted to cut the conversation short. By focusing on your feelings and experiences, you will leave the way open for a constructive and reasonable exchange.

For example, instead of telling your parents "you never listen to me", try using a sentence that contains the personal pronoun I, such as "I feel my words have not been understood"
Recognize the needs of others as well. You don't live on a desert island. It's great to clearly communicate your feelings and needs, but don't forget to be gentle with others. Being concerned with the needs of others first is a real sign of maturity.
Don't jump straight to conclusions. If you are not sure what happened with someone, find out! Don't make assumptions and remember that you often lack information.
- For example, if your friend forgot about her promise to go shopping with you, don't assume she is abhorrent or insensitive.
- Use a first person statement and ask them to speak on the issue. For example: “I was really disappointed when you couldn't come to the supermarket with me. What happened ? "
Try to collaborate with others. Instead of saying “I want to skateboard,” ask what your classmates would like to do.

Step 3. Avoid constantly swearing

Many peoples and cultures do not allow profanity or profanity. A curse can surprise or even offend your interlocutors and they may think that you do not know how to communicate. Instead of swearing, try to build your vocabulary and use your new words to talk about yourself.

If you swear frequently when you're upset or when your feelings are hurt, replace your swearing with original exclamations. For example, if you are banging your toes, say something funny and awesome like, “Hell! "

Step 4. Speak politely and refrain from raising your voice

If you raise your voice, especially when you are angry, you are likely to make people uncomfortable. They may even refuse to listen to you. It is the children who are screaming, not the responsible adults.

Adopt a calm voice, even when you are upset

Step 5. Pay attention to your body language

Your body can express as many feelings as your words. For example, by crossing your arms, you show others that their words do not interest you. A permanently slack posture indicates that you are not there and that you want to be somewhere else. Learn the meaning of your body language and make sure it translates what you mean.

Keep your arms relaxed at your side instead of crossing them in front of you.
Stand up straight, protruding your torso and looking straight ahead.
Remember that your face reflects your thoughts. Don't roll your eyes or look at the ground.

Step 6. Have serious conversations with people

For example, you can talk about school, current events, life experiences and the lessons you have learned from them. Of course, you can afford to be funny with your friends. It all depends on the situations you are in. You will probably be talking about different topics, depending on whether you are with your best friend or with your math teacher.

Ask questions. Know that intellectual curiosity is also a sign of maturity. If you ever gossip about someone, you won't seem very mature. Ask others to give their opinions. If someone brings up something interesting, encourage them to tell you more.
Don't pretend you know something that you don't know. You are likely to have a hard time admitting your shortcomings as you seek to come across as mature and informed. But by doing so, you will look like a foolish person, and you might even believe it yourself. Therefore, it is best to say something like “I haven't read much on this issue. I will inform myself ! "

Step 7. Say kind words

If you can't say something constructive, don't say anything. An irresponsible person keeps criticizing and pointing out the faults of other people. She doesn't hesitate to slam insults about anything. Sometimes she justifies her cruelty by claiming that it is objective. On the other hand, a mature person chooses his words carefully and avoids altering the feelings of others. So, remember to be careful with your words and don't say words that hurt other people's feelings. Treat people the way you want to be treated yourself.

Step 8. Learn to sincerely admit your mistakes

No matter how mature you are, you are likely to inadvertently say bad things and hurt your fellow human beings from time to time. Sometimes we all do silly things, because no one on this earth is perfect. Learn to put your pride on the back burner and apologize when necessary. In case of error, a sincere and honest apology demonstrates real maturity.

Step 9. Speak the truth while being compassionate

It is really very difficult to master, but when you think about the answer you want from someone, you will be able to choose your words more easily. Among Buddhists, there is a saying which goes: "Before speaking, always check if what you are going to say is true and benevolent". Think about these words before you speak. Those around you will appreciate your honesty and by being compassionate you will show your attachment to others.

For example, when a friend asks you if her dress will make her appear bigger, think carefully before answering. Beauty is a very subjective notion. Therefore, your opinion on your friend's appearance is unlikely to be of much help. However, you will meet your friend's expectations if you tell her that she will look really good in her new dress.
If you really think your friend's dress is unattractive, there are several ways you can express your doubts about the usefulness of your review. For example, here is a possible answer: "you know, I prefer your red dress to this one". By answering this way, you avoid talking about your friend's build and how she looks in her new dress.
Behavioral scientists suggest that sometimes a harmless lie promotes social relationships because it can prevent you from hurting or embarrassing someone. Whether or not you can do this is up to you. Whatever you choose, be kind.

Method 4 of 4: Be courteous

Step 1. Be polite when interacting with others

Shake hands openly and look the other person straight in the eye. If in your culture you greet otherwise, use your way of doing it in a correct and polite manner. When you meet someone, make an effort to remember their name by saying, "It's good to meet you, Paul." Good manners show the respect you give to your interlocutor and prove your maturity.

During the conversation, listen attentively while looking at the other party without staring at them. Apply the 50/70 rule by making eye contact for 50% of your speaking time and 70% of the other person's speaking time.
Avoid stirring or fiddling with random objects. Know that restlessness denotes insecurity. Keep your hands open and relaxed.
Do not stay there with your mind elsewhere. Most people will easily recognize your nonchalance and will take poorly for your disinterest in them.
Pay attention to the other person instead of disrespecting them by using your cell phone to talk to your friends or send them messages.
When starting a new relationship or entering a new community, sit still for a while and examine the behaviors of those around you. It is not for you to tell others what to do. Instead, respectfully observe your surroundings.

Step 2. Observe good practices online

By applying the basic rules of good manners in your relationships on the Internet, you will respect your friends, your family and your pen pals in general. It is a sign of maturity. Remember that most of your online actions can be seen by people like your employer, teacher, etc. So, be careful not to say hurtful or embarrassing words.

Avoid violent or shocking expressions. Don't overuse exclamation points. Keep in mind that you are not there in person to clarify your point of view. So be careful not to embarrass your interlocutors.
Use the Shift key. Instead of writing everything in lowercase, capitalize proper nouns and the beginning of sentences. Avoid using capital letters spuriously, as your text may become illegible.
Also, avoid writing only in capital letters. On the web, this amounts to protests. You can do this to post a tweet about your hockey team's victory that just won the championship, but avoid doing so in your daily email messages and social media conversations.
Begin your e-mail messages with a calling form, such as "my dear Jean". If you forget this formula, your mail will seem rude, especially if you write to someone you don't know well or to someone of a certain rank, such as your teacher. Conclude your letter with a polite phrase, such as "thank you" or "sincerely".
Proofread your text before sending it, whether it's an email or a social media post, to make sure it's free of errors. Use full sentences and be sure to add the correct punctuation at the end of each sentence.
Don't overuse abbreviations, slang words, and emoticons. It is okay to use these elements in a message to a friend of yours, but avoid placing them in an email to your teacher or in another context where you want to show your maturity.
Remember the golden rule online, just like you do in everyday life. Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. If you want someone to be nice to you, do the same to them. If you have nothing good to say, stay silent.

Step 3. Be Helpful

Hold the doors, help pick up items, and offer to help anyone who needs it. Also consider helping your community. Mentor a young student, tutor, or work in an animal shelter. When you contribute to the happiness of others, you are more likely to be happy yourself. You will be very mature in helping others instead of just looking after yourself.

Helping acts can also boost your self-esteem. According to studies that have been done on the matter, it appears that when we assist others, we experience a sense of accomplishment and pride because of what we have done.
Help is not always reciprocal. Sometimes you assist other people who don't even say thank you and don't offer to help you in return. They are at fault. But, remember that if you are assisting someone, you are doing yourself a favor first, not trying to get anything in return.

Step 4. Avoid taking center stage all the time

When you monopolize the floor, without giving the other person a chance to speak, you behave in a way that lacks respect and maturity. When you pay close attention to the interests and experiences of others, you will be more responsible and less selfish. You can also learn something new or show respect for someone based on what you have heard about them.

Step 5. Accept compliments and criticisms calmly

If someone gives you a compliment, just say thank you. Be polite if someone criticizes you. Say something like "Okay, I'll think about what you told me." The criticism may not be valid, but by responding politely you immediately demonstrate your maturity of mind.

Try not to feel like you are being criticized. Sometimes people are full of good will, but they don't know how to express themselves properly. If you are in this situation, ask for clarification. Here's an example: “I heard you say you didn't like my essay. Could you tell me more so that I can do better next time? "
Sometimes a review relates more to the person giving it than to the recipient. If the criticism seems unfair or hurtful, remember that the other person is simply trying to value themselves by demoralizing you. So don't let it happen.
If you accept criticism graciously, that doesn't mean you are giving up your right to defend yourself. When someone hurts your feelings, respond calmly and politely. Here's an example: “I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but when you criticized my outfit I was really shocked. Next time, please refrain from commenting on my appearance”.

Advice

Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. In fact, it is the very definition of maturity.
Write down the goals you will need to achieve to become more mature and plan your actions to achieve them. For example, you may decide to calm yourself down first instead of talking about yourself all the time. Work for a week and then assess your results. Even if you don't get it right the first time, keep trying.
Spread the grace around you. Even if someone doesn't deserve a second chance, give it to them anyway. You will gain importance and you will look more mature.
Know how to adapt to the situations you encounter. Orange herringbone hair can express your individuality, but if you work in a formal setting, your appearance can make those around you believe that you are immature, even if you are not.
Try to deal with other matters as well. You will look more responsible.
Know that punctuality is a quality!
Strive to be kind, understanding and friendly with everyone! Be sure to behave like this constantly.
Maturity is difficult to acquire. However, don't change your personality to become wiser. Instead, be sure to be yourself while behaving flawlessly. It is no longer a question of who is the oldest and who is the youngest. If you want those around you to take you seriously, consider the way you relate to others and once you've made your choice, respect it and stand up for it firmly. If something goes wrong, do your best to stay calm and think about the next step. Do not offload yourself onto others, because these are the consequences of your actions and therefore it is up to you to take responsibility for them. Behave like an adult and be responsible.
When you are in conflict with others, avoid arguments and instead seek to resolve your problem calmly in a rational manner. If the going gets tough, end the discussion as soon as possible.
Take the reviews seriously. If someone tells you that you are behaving like a child, relax and try to find ways to improve yourself. Do not get upset because of what you have been told, but take the opportunity to get to know yourself better.

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