You probably hear references to love every day, but it can be difficult to define it. Love means different things to different people, and you may experience different types of love depending on the situation. If you want to define love for yourself, you have to start by identifying the types of love, for example romantic love and friendly love. Then decide what it means to you. Once you understand love, you will be able to tell whether or not you are in love with someone.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Identify types of love
Step 1. Feel the surge of romantic love with a potential partner
This type of love makes you everything. Ask yourself if you feel a deep desire for the other and a connection that you don't have with another person. Notice the feeling of physical attraction in addition to the need to be with that person. It could be romantic love.
This is usually what you mean when you say "I'm in love with you"
Warning:
it is easy to confuse desire and love. If you only feel a physical attraction with no emotional connection, it could just be desire.
Step 2. Acknowledge friendly love with trust and goodwill
You probably have special feelings for your friends that you can also call love. Ask yourself if you feel comfortable and happy when you are with your friends. Ask yourself if you can trust them enough to tell them your secrets and if you want what's best for them. These are signs that indicate that you love your friends.
- This kind of love is usually what you mean when you say "I like you". You can genuinely care about someone and want what's best for them without feeling romantic love.
- You might feel romantic and friendly love for the same person at the same time. This will be the case, for example, if you feel that your partner is also your best friend.
Step 3. Know how to recognize family love with your family members
Family members often share a strong bond built on mutual love. Find a special bond between you and your loved ones, as well as the desire to spend time with them. You might also feel an obligation to protect or care for them. It is family love.
Family love is not just about the people you have a blood connection with. Your family also includes people who are always there when you need them and who have an important influence in your life
Step 4. Feel the comfort and happiness of loving your pet
You might think of your significant other as a member of the family, but your love for them is a little different. You are probably going to feel satisfied and relaxed when you are together and it is going to be hard to feel lonely when you have a pet that loves you! The bond between the latter and its owner is often strong and the source of much happiness for both. If this is how you feel about your furry friend, you know you love them.
Love for your pet can actually help you feel less stressed
Step 5. Notice the passion you feel for your areas of interest
You probably say things like "I like ice cream" or "I like this song" every day. Realize that the affection or happiness you feel for your areas of interest can also be a form of love. However, this kind of love is not the same as the love you have for the special people in your life.
This love is much more fleeting because you can change your interests often
Method 2 of 3: Decide what self-love means
Step 1. Write down what you hope to get from a romantic partner
Think about your ideal relationship and what characteristics you would like to see in your partner. Next, create a description of your ideal partner. It will help you understand what to expect from love to find out what it means to you.
- For example, you might decide that you want a partner who compliments you every day, remembers important events in your life, enjoys cuddling, and is creative.
- You are unlikely to find your perfect match because no one is perfect. However, this exercise will help you understand what you are looking for.
Step 2. Decide on the relationship you want with your friends and family
Think about the things you enjoy in family and friends, and the ways you enjoy spending time with them. Then take into account the things that you think are missing in the relationship to think about the changes you want to make. Chat with your family and friends about what you want in your relationship to be on the same page.
- For example, you might want a close relationship with your brother where you can share everything together. Let her know how you are feeling.
- Likewise, you might think that close friends share their belongings and avoid dating each other's exes out of respect. Chat with your friends to see if you can improve your relationship.
Step 3. Prioritize the people you love
Check in with the people you love daily or weekly, depending on your relationship. In addition, you need to spend time with them regularly and discuss what is going on in your life. It will help you have a strong relationship with your family members, friends and partner.
- For example, you might get into the habit of texting or texting your loved ones every day.
- Likewise, hang out with the people you love, such as going out for coffee with a friend, shopping with your mom, or going to a movie with your partner.
Step 4. Find ways to express your love
You might better understand your idea of love by sharing how you feel. Explore your feelings and communicate them to the people you care about. Here are several ways to express your love.
- Let your friends and family know how you are feeling.
- Write a love poem.
- Write a love song.
- Give small gifts to the people you love.
- Send memes to your friends to express your love to them.
- Write a love letter.
Step 5. Choose to feel romantic love
You might see love as an emotion, but it's also a choice you make. When you decide to love someone, you choose to make a commitment to that person every day. When you're ready to love, you make the choice to start a relationship.
On the other hand, you can also choose to dislike someone. You might do this if the relationship isn't the right one for you, or if that person isn't treating you well. You may have to wait a bit for your feelings to go away, but it will happen
Step 6. Identify your personal love language
Your love language is the way you want to be loved as well as the way you express your love. Ask yourself what times you feel loved and in what ways you tend to express your love. Then choose from the five love languages the one that suits you the best.
- Words of affirmation: you want your partner to tell you that he loves you.
- Physical contact: You want physical intimacy, such as hugging, holding hands, or kissing.
- Acts of Service: You experience love as service to each other.
- Gifts: You feel loved when your partner gives you things.
- Quality moments: you want your partner to spend time with you.
Advice:
When you start a relationship with someone, it's important that you understand each other's love languages. It is normal to have disputes over this, but you should know your preferences.
Method 3 of 3: Knowing how to recognize love
Step 1. Notice a strong desire for someone
If you are in love with someone, you are likely to miss that person when you are not together. You might even feel it when that person is away briefly. Observe an urge to be with this person all the time. It could be a sign that you are in love.
- For example, you might find yourself thinking, “I miss him,” even though he has only just left.
- Likewise, you could hug a pillow and imagine it's the person you love.
Step 2. Ask yourself if you are happier in his presence
When you are in love, you are going to enjoy spending time with the object of your love. You will notice that everything is better when you are with him. Ask yourself if life feels better to you when you are with the person you love. It could mean that you are in love.
You might also feel the same way towards a friend or family member. However, these feelings will run deeper if you are in love
Step 3. Observe feelings of passion as you think about this person
Passion could mean a need for physical contact or a desire to be with it. Ask yourself if you feel the need to kiss her, hold her hand, or touch her in a more intimate way. It could indicate that you are in love.
Passion can also be a sign of sexual desire. To make sure you feel love, ask yourself if you have any other signs of it, such as if you feel happier in his presence
Step 4. Make sure you feel like you can trust him
You need to be able to trust this person and feel safe around them. She should listen to you and support you when you share things. In addition, you have to trust her to know that she is not lying to you and that she can make good decisions for your relationship, for example by refraining from cheating on you.
- You and your partner should share a feeling of mutual trust. This means that you must respond when needed, listen to it and support it. Likewise, they need to trust you enough to know that you are making the right decisions.
- If you hesitate to trust him, you are not ready to start a new relationship. You might still feel love, but you are not ready to be in love. This is not a problem ! Listen to your instincts.
Step 5. Decide on your emotional commitment
Your urge to engage with that person is the ultimate sign of love. It means that you feel a deep emotional connection in addition to the passion and desire. Ask yourself if you are ready for a real relationship, which will then mean that you are in love.
You know you are ready to commit if you can imagine a future with this person. In addition, you will be much less interested in a relationship with someone else
Step 6. Pursue your love only if the feeling is mutual
You might fall in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way. It could be very disappointing and painful, but it would be better if you move on. Everyone has the right to feel what they want, which is why you shouldn't try to force her to love you. Instead, try to move on by sharing your feelings, grieving the loss of your love, and moving on with your life.
- Don't wait for her to change her mind and start loving you. Remember, there is someone better out there who is just waiting for you to find them.
- If you continue to have a relationship with someone who doesn't love you the way you love them, you will develop an obsession. It will be harmful to you as well as to her. Respect her choices and find love elsewhere.
Advice
- Loving someone doesn't just mean caring about that person. This means that you need to find a balance between your happiness and hers in a way that improves both of your lives.
- People are able to fall in love and then fall apart, which is why feelings can change. Likewise, your partner might decide to no longer love you.