Being Zen is characterized by a search for harmony and serenity, first of all, in oneself and then in everything. It is about restoring mental, emotional and physical balance, but also about achieving balance in any situation and relationship. The goal of Zen is to be well in your head and to be serene. It is a refuge of peace and happiness.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Finding Peace in Your Life
Step 1. Let go of what you can't control
You are the only person you could ever control. You can change your thoughts, actions, reactions, and emotions, but you cannot change others. Let go of what other people are doing or thinking and stay focused on yourself.
- Give others the benefit of the doubt. If you think you haven't been treated well, don't take it personally. Imagine that the person concerned was not completely conscious.
- An alternative, when you are disappointed or disappointed, is to think about what your expectations were. Were they realistic, were they expressed clearly? Sometimes it is important to understand, with the person concerned, how the misunderstanding happened, to clarify the relationship.
Step 2. Take some distance
Taking some distance will help you put things into perspective. The key is to look at the situation through the laws of cause and effect. “When you do not practice detachment in your activities, you encounter obstacles, you experience stagnation and imprisonment. Life becomes cyclical (ie repetitive) and remains chained to the laws of cause and effect. There is then no peace, no grace, no happiness, no freedom, no salvation. »Maitreya
- Look the problem in the face and find the causes that brought the problem here and now
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Everything goes. In every situation ask yourself: is all lost?
Is the confusion total?
The perfect anguish?
Am I reduced to impotence?
Read a tale of wisdom
Step 3. Control and change certain aspects of your life that are related to the situation
You cannot change the other or the world, but you can start to change your attitude or your reaction to the situation. Changing and taking responsibility for your condition or situation can give you back confidence.
For example, if you get stuck in traffic every day, observe and then change what you can change: the time you wake up, the road, your schedules. Do not feed your frustrations, your anxieties, or your anger. On the contrary, reduce them as much as possible by taking certain responsibilities and start to really change
Step 4. Always focus your attention on the positives
The more attention you give to the positive aspects of your life, the more they will develop.
List what is going well for you right now. Reread it often, display it on your fridge or anywhere else
Step 5. Visualize a positive outcome
Even if the situation seems to escape you, try to imagine a more positive scenario. This method can help you remove harmful thoughts from your mind.
- Use a photo to help you better visualize your dream: a new car, a new house.
- Use affirmations to help you visualize positive outcomes. These positive phrases will help you realize your deep desires. For example, you could repeat every morning: I take care of my business very well, my customers are satisfied and happy.
Step 6. Enjoy the path
Instead of looking to the future and putting all of your attention on the long-awaited outcome, focus on the path. This path is full of lessons. Accept all new trials with detachment, they require you to be fully present.
- Every moment is a new moment when anything is possible. Find the calm of your breathing and refocus on your heart.
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Thank life, the people around you, nature, everything, nothing.
Thank your ancestors without whom you wouldn't be here.
Thank your body which is a complex and fabulous organism.
Thank your emotions: the joy, the fear, the love, the anger that allows you to feel the life in your flesh.
Thank the basics: earth, water, fire and air.
Part 2 of 3: Recognize your emotions
Step 1. Express your anger
Find a quiet and peaceful place, let those around you know, and spend at least five minutes a day expressing your anger. It is about discharging energy from your body, in action, in all awareness.
- You can also scream in nature or while parachuting.
- When someone is angry, accept their anger while mentally creating protection: imagine a lightning rod connected to the earth and which goes up along your spine, put a color on it. Imagine that all of the anger energy is going to be sucked into a black hole in front of you. Create a personal ritual that helps contain the anger of the other while accepting that certain words are dedicated to you and are even very important for your development.
Step 2. Observe your nervous tension or stress
All change begins with attention. Observe your tension and each time refocus yourself, breathe in your tension, detach yourself from its source, often mental.
Take a scan of your body. Review your body and feel the unnecessary tension, rebalance your posture in harmony with your breathing
Step 3. Observe your responses during an unpleasant situation
Observe what the emotions are rising. Don't judge your emotions, let them rise and then fall. Don't get attached to it.
Step 4. Don't take anything personally
When you start taking nothing personally, you start to be immune to your harmful thoughts and you keep a lot more energy for the essentials.
Step 5. Smile when you're not well
One of the golden rules of the Zen attitude is to smile. Smiling allows you to keep a necessary distance in all circumstances. It also connects you instantly to the heart, it thanks life.
Step 6. Fight harmful thoughts
With each harmful thought, ask yourself if you really want to have the experience, if not, detach yourself from that thought before it happens.
When you are overcome with harmful thoughts, mentally think of cutting off your head and visualize that a new head emerges with only the thought of your third eye, your higher self, your intuition. Stay detached from your mind
Part 3 of 3: give yourself space
Step 1. Start your day off right
Start with a positive routine. Get up fifteen minutes or even an hour earlier, take a little nature walk, write down your goals for the day, the list of friends to contact, and positive phrases to repeat throughout the day.
Step 2. Take time for yourself
Spend time doing what you really want to do: paint, sing, laugh, love, see friends, play with your melodica, write a letter. Dedicating yourself to doing what you really want helps you have a zen attitude.
Step 3. Make the most of every moment
Don't get caught up in a thousand and one occupations. Take the time to live, to feel, to love what you are doing.
Step 4. Meditate to cultivate a Zen attitude
Meditation requires significant discipline. Start with 5 minutes in the morning when you get up, and then, as you feel good about it, meditate for half an hour. Your quality of life will suffer quickly. Meditation allows you to let your thoughts go, let your mind settle, find calm. To meditate is not "to think about", but "not to think".
- Sit for at least five minutes a day. Sit comfortably on a meditation cushion or chair. Concentrate on the breath.
- Leave your eyes open slightly. If that suits you better, close them.
- As soon as the anxiety arises, focus on your breathing.
Step 5. Get frequent rest
Sleep is one of the best drugs for recharging your batteries and regaining your calm. Always plan on getting a good night's sleep, followed by a good meditation each morning.
Step 6. Unplug all of your displays
Avoid all virtual distractions such as television, telephone or computer These sources often prevent you from looking deeply within what your real needs are.
Advice
- Learn more about Zen attitudes by trying Zen Meditation (Zazen).
- Find a Zen Buddhist temple to be initiated into Zen.